July 15,1926 15 cents Per Copy Body by Pierce- Arrow IT is quite evident that the Series 80 has caused a decided change in the public's motor car buying habits. Where heretofore they were content with "medium price" cars, literally thousands are now investing a little more to get the greater economy of Pierce- Arrow engineering and Pierce-Arrow building. They find that no increase in their monthly motoring budget is necessary. It costs no more and often less j to operate the Series 80. When you scan the motor car offer ings in search of your new car this spring, consider the Series 80 on the basis of a moderate motoring budget — not merely purchase price. You will then understand why owners of $1500 to $1000 cars are turning to the Series 80 in large numbers. A moderate payment now, balance to be evenly distributed over a period of months, will sea/re early delivery. Demonstrations any time upon request. Write or phone us PjIERCE-ARROW SALES CORPORATION 2420-22 S. MICHIGAN AVENUE Telephone Calumet 5960 CHICAGO S eries 'T2895//4045 at 'Buffalo-plus tax Houdaille Shock Absorbers and Pines W inter jront Standard Equipment I E W E L S C. D. PEACOCK ESTABLISHED 1837 FOREMOST AUTHORITY ON DIAMONDS AND PEARLS SINCE 1837 TI4E04ICAGOAN o « V THE CWCAGOANy Dp THE THEATRE DRAMA CONSCIENCE— Opened Sunday, June 27, Lil lian Foster, liked in New York, is in it here. Adelphi, Clark at Madison. COMEDY DIVORCONS— Sardou brilliance served by Mar garet Lawrence and Bruce McRae with an excellent supporting cast. Harris, Dearborn at Lake. GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES— Diverting gold digging. Selwyn, Dearborn at Lake. CHEZ PIERRE— Karola, Quixano, others, to entertain you. Dancing, atmosphere and such. Eight to two-thirty. East Ontario Street. VICTORIAN ROOM, PALMER HOUSE— Sup per and Dancing. The Victorian Room has carried over it's perfections from the old Palmer House. BLACK VELVET— Welcoming Frank Keenan back to the Chicago stage after an absence of three years. With him is Miss Leona Ho garth. Opening July S, at the Playhouse, 410 S. Michigan. THE ARABIAN— Walker Whiteside performing as Abdel Rey makes this melodrama worth while. Studebaker, Michigan at VanBuren. The' [ARGEST OUDEST AUGH in the 'OOP George M. Cohan* s Newest Farce Comedy "The Home Towners" At His New 4 COHANS THEATRE Opp. City Hall Central 493 7 MATS. WED. & SAT. EVENINGS AT 8.30 MATINEES AT 2.30 BETSY NOBODY— A chance to hand boquets to the author-actor who is opening his play July 4. Cort, Dearborn at Randolph. LE MAIRE'S AFFAIRS— Sophie Tucker in a vehicle written for her. Opening night, July 4. Woods, Randolph at Dearborn. IF I WAS RICH— A new comedy about bluffs; highly enjoyable; Joe Laurie in a meaty part. LaSalle, Madison at Clark. THE HOME TOWNERS— Bully entertainment by "George M." The Four Cohens, 119 N. Clark. MUSICAL COMEDY BY THE WAY— Has the name of being better than Chariot's Review which is saying some thing. Hurry if you don't want to miss this one! Garrick, Randolph at Clark. CASTLES IN THE AIR— Romance, good music and delightful. Olympic, Randolph at Clark. ARTISTS AND MODELS— Pulchritude letting down its back hair. Apollo, Randolph at Dearborn. AFTER THEATRE ENTERTAINMENT THE BEACH WALK— Dancing along the lake at the Edgewater Beach Hotel. Moonlight on the water and heavenly music. THE TERRACE, DRAKE HOTEL— Benson's orchestra. Ten to two. POMPEIAN ROOM, CONGRESS HOTEL— Open all summer for dancing. Balloon Room now closed. THE SAMOVAR— Convenient Russian place for those whose play-going has been along the boulevard. 624 S. Michigan Avenue. COLLEGE INN, SHERMAN HOTEL— Will be open all summer for dancing. VILLA VENICE— One of the newest places to motor to after the theatre. On the Des Plaines River, a Venitian pier and Gondolas. Dancing, supper, entertainment. MUSIC RAVINIA OPERA— June 26 marked the gala opening of the Opera House in the Woods. "Manon Lescaut," with Bori and Martinelli, was the presentation. The coming operas are: Faust — Rethberg and Johnson, July 1. Martha — Macbeth and Chamlee, July 2. Aida — Rethberg and Martinelli, July 3. Lucia D'Lammermoor — Macbeth and Cham lee, July 4. The informal Sunday afternoon concerts will be resumed this summer. Three o'clock is the hour. Monday evenings are devoted to symphony concerts, Eric Delamater directing the Chicago symphony orchestra. CONCERT OF ORIGINAL COMPOSITIONS • — Miss Jeanne Boyd, erstwhile composer for the Rochester Symphony orchestra, Florence Macbeth and others, will play her own com positions at Bush Recital Hall, Monday, July 12, at eight o'clock. GALLERIES ART INSTITUTE— Zorn Etchings, and four cen turies of engraving and etchings form the primary exhibit at the Art Institute from the first of July to the fifteenth. TWECUICAGOAN 3 _/" o * CALENDAK OP EVENT/ ROULLIER GALLERIES— Maserpieces of Schoengauer and Zorn, drypoint etchings by Mary Cassatt will be shown at Rouiller's dur ing July. Fine Arts Bldg. DUNBAR EXHIBIT— Mellow Brocades, rich vel vets, and tapestries of the ISth, 16th, and 17th centuries at Dunbar's. London Guaran tee and Accident Bldg. CHICAGO GALLERIES ASS'N — Exhibit of Middle West and Western Artists. Jackson Blvd. CHESTER JOHNSON September 1. Galleries closed until ARTS CLUB— Closed until November 1. House of O'Brien, Ackermann's, Marshall Field and Co., will be open gallaries during the summer months but no special showings are to be given. SPORTS GOLF ILLINOIS WOMEN'S PUBLIC GOLF TOUR NAMENT — To be held at Lincoln Park links, July 12. CHICAGO DISTRICT GOLF ASS'N — Team championship tournament. To be held at Glenview, July 13. TENNIS ILLINOIS STATE TOURNAMENT — To be held at Skokie Country Club, beginning June 28. Tilden, Chapin, Alonzo, the Davis Cup team from Japan among the contestants. YACHT RACES CHICAGO YACHT CLUB TRIANGLE RACE — Sailing from Belmont Harbor July 2. To Macatawa Bay, Michigan; then to St. Joe; back to Chicago. Open to Yawls and Schooners. RACINE YACHT CLUB — Kenosha Regatta. Racing between Kenosha and Chicago. Open to all classes. July 4. JACKSON PARK YACHT CLUB— Sailing from Van Buren Street, July 17, to Saugatuck, Michigan. Open to all classes. BASEBALL CLUB PARK— Professional. Addison and Clark Streets. Cubs vs. Cincinnati, July 1, 2, 3. Cubs vs. Pittsburg, two games, July 4. Cubs vs. Brooklyn, July 9, 10, 11, 12. Cubs vs. Boston, July 13, 14, 15. COMISKEY PARK — Professional. 35th and Shields. White Sox vs. Cleveland, July 5, 6. double header. TURF LAKE FOREST HORSE SHOW ASS'N — Twentieht annual charity entertainment in the form of a horse show. To be held at the Onwentsia Club, Lake Forest, July 9, at 2 to 6, and July 10, from 1:30 to 6 o'clock. Paul E. Gardner is in charge of box and ticket sale. THE ILLINOIS JOCKEY CLUB— Reviving the American Derby at the Washington Park Race Course, Homewood, Illinois. A thirty- one day race meet beginning Saturday, July 3, with six races daily. OTHER EVENTS UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO SOCIOLOGICAL ASPECTS OF AMERICAN- MEXICAN RELATIONS — The Honorable Manuel Gamio lecturing at the Leon Man- del assembly hall, Thursday, July 1, 4:30 o'clock. CARICATURE IN SCIENCE — Ernest Cohen, Sc.D., University of Utrecht, Holland. July 6, at 4:30 o'clock. Lecturing in Harper As sembly room. NORTHWESTERN UNIVERSITY COMMUNITY SINGING— On the campus at Harris Hall. Professor Edgar B. Gordon of University of Wisconsin will lead. July 1, 7:30 p. m. LOCAL LIQUOR MARKET Scotch sags perceptibly. Easier on the purse but harder on the in testines. Genuine Gordon Gin, with label, $7.00 quart Genuine Gin, without label, $3.50 quart Old Smuggler Scotch, $10 to $14 quart Crab Orchard Bourbon, $12 to $16 quart White Horse Scotch, $8 to $14 quart King's Own Scotch, $14 to $20 quart Old Elk Bourban, $9 to $15 quart Old Crow, $10 to $14 quart Sunnybrook Bourbon, Try and get it SELWYN EVENINGS 8:30, THURSDAY AND SATURDAY MATINEES 2:30 Edgar Selwyn presents 'Gentlemen Prefer Blondes9 A dramatization by Anita Loos and John Emerson of Anita Loos' best seller : Popular Thursday Matinee : TI4ECI4ICAGOAN THE CHICAGOAN, published semi-monthly by THE CHICAGOAN, INC., 417 Main Street, Wilmette, 111. Exec utive and Editorial Offices, 154 East Erie Street, Chicago, 111. Subscription, $3.00 ; single copies, 15 cents. Vol. 1, No. 2, July 15, 1926. Second Class Rights Applied for at the Post Office at Wilmette, 111., under the Act of March 3, 1879. Copyright Applied for, 1926, by THE CHICAGOAN, INC. HARRY SEGALL, Editor DEAN PATTY, Art Director CI4ICAG0AN TU-E TALK OP T14E TOWN AS this issue goes to press, we fall to our knees with a fer vent prayer that its discovery on the newsstands by certain estimable, though rash gentlemen, will cause no fatalities; we hope the hearts of these fellow-workers of ours are of stout texture, as otherwise we fear the shock of seeing an "editorless" magazine be more than these good souls can bear. In explanation of the above, and for the benefit of those of our readers who may not grasp its import, we hasten to explain that recently a collection of Chicago literary lights rushed pell mell to their Coronas, and through the col umns of their respective newspapers proclaimed to their public that we had died at birth and that our editors had fled en masse from so harrowing a sight. Hence, we tremble lest seeing us again radiant and happy and dis gustingly healthy prove too much for them. As a matter of fact, we debated among ourselves long and earnestly as to whether it wasn't an impudent transgression of the bounds of etiquette to fare forth again after as their friends had shed their priceless tears over our carcass; however, as they reckoned without their ghost, we came to the conclusion aided by several seidels of Wurzburger that we would be par doned by them for not remaining "dead." Then, too, there was our great Chicago public to consider! So here we are again, blushing prettily, and the printers, subscribers and Almighty willing, we will continue to sally forth regularly hereafter! Amen. Chained to the wall in the mens' retiring room in Henrici's is an implement whose sparse teeth and jaundiced appearance cry out for surcease from its gruelling labor. Fif teen years back we drank our first cup of coffee and "dunked" our first pret zel in this place and it was then we first laid our eyes on this enduring tool and negotiated it through our wavy raven locks. Difficult it was, mates, but the sturdy thing responded nobly and enabled us to present a coiffure not to be scoffed at. A few years later, our hair and this gim-crack became close friends, and it was with great concern we noticed as the years flitted by that the arduous task of arranging man's crowning glory in orderly fash ion was proving too much for its health; we figured that if the business at Henrici's would increase sufficiently it would warrant their setting aside a sinking fund with which to purchase a successor to our old friend. Years later their business had increased con siderably but our friend was still there, losing more of its precious teeth and taking on a yellower appearance. Still we were patient. Perhaps the profits were not more than 75 per cent and we hoped again for a greater increase in patronage, sufficient to warrant the expenditure. At this writing, we are certain the management has prospered sufficiently to hold a directors meeting and order a new instrument; if this is not done forthwith, we will be forced out of sheer humanity to do something drastic about it! Lincoln freed the slaves — where is there a Lin coln today to free this thing the man agement of this place call a comb? Speaking of turpitude, we have it on the authority of an ex-library employee, that the Chicago Pub lic Library shelters a collection of ero tica which would have caused les En- fants Terribles to gnash their teeth and slap their Teddy Bears had they known of its existence — and its inaccessibility. For to safeguard the purity of read ers at large, all the naughty foreign journals and volumes are withheld from circulation and tenderly stored in the basement vaults of that institu tion as some queer, inconsistent ruling forbids the destruction of a book or magazine once received by the Library, while that book or magazine is still in so-called "good" condition. 6 TI4E CHICAGOAN There, in dim and dusty darkness, lonelily languish the pages of improper pictures and tantalizing text. Only once a year — at inventory — are the various forbidden items viewed. Then a trusted employee of the library care fully checks over the collection to make certain that none of the pariahs have escaped. This employee even unlocks and opens the suitcase which contains the paper wrapped super- s h oc k e r s — the suitcase which secludes the boks so outrageous that the library authorities dare not risk the chance of their coming to the casual notice of any of the libra ry employees — s a v e the Man Who Takes the In ventory. Line of applicants for the post of Inventory Taker will kindly form at the right. (Sent in for no reason that we can think of) Chicagoan, Dear Sirs: I wonder if you will print this so that some kind "reader" will help us girls get what we want? We are four girls ranging in age from 19 to 27, and we lately started a clubhouse as a kind of "hobby." We have practically everything but a grand piano, a set of dining room furniture, a chandelier, some tapestries, drapes, wolf hounds, an auto and things, and we would like to have them. Maybe a "reader" could supply these. We think the idea would be so "cute." And of course we would be awfully "obliged." Letta, May, Dorothy and Alexandra. The Chicagoan, Dear Sirs: Will the gentleman who took part in the accident at Elm Street and the Drive stand at the same spot at 11 o'clock Thursday evening. I believe I can hit him squarely in the middle this time. I was drinking and my nerves were not quite steady. But Thursday I will do better. William D. Murphy. The brotherhood of man is no better exemplified than in the following conversation which passed between two of our men-about- town: Tom: How was the honeymoon, Jerry ? Jerry : Heavenly ! Tom: I knew it would be. Grace is a wonderful girl and I want to do all in my power, Jerry, to help you make a success of it ! I want you to bene fit by my mistakes with Grace! If I had known the things about her that I know now, our mar riage would have lasted longer than it did. There's a peculiarity about Grace that — Jerry: I don't care to hear about any peculiar ities in my wife! And I warn you not to press the subject ! Tom: Don't get on your ear old fellow — re member she was my wife before she was yours; and an ex-husband has some rights, I hope! If you care enough for her to want to make a sucess of your marriage, you had better let me chart the reefs for you! Jerry: Why should I take advice from a failure? Tom: Because a failure knows why he failed! Jerry: I know why you failed with Grace! She told me all about you and your habits and there are a few very intimate things, believe me! Tom: Is that so? What did she tell you about me. Jerry: I'm not in the habit of dis cussing secrets! Tom: Well, whatever she told you can't be half as bad as what I can tell you about her, especially, her ac tions after 11 o'clock at night. Jerry: I know all about them and they suit me! Tom: No, you don't. She doesn't start acting that way until at least six months after she's married. You just returned from a month's honey moon, so you've got five months to wait before you know Grace as I know her. If you want to get on famously with Grace, don't fail, before retiring every night to — Jerry : Sh ! Nix ! Here comes Grace ! And thus dear reader, we were cheated of a choice morsel of scandal; however, our star reporter hopes to report the sequence of this charming tete-a-tete in time for our next issue. So be patient! A coupla days ago we bumped into •*• *H. P. Joslyn whose modern com position last season was played by Sto- kowski's Philadelphia Philharmonic Orchestra. To have his work pre sented by Stokowski is to an American what a rendition by the Vienna Phil harmonic would mean to an European In Europe offers and honors would be siege a newly risen composer. In Chi cago, a man like Joslyn is practically unnoticed. Whether he slinks up a back alley or treks along Boul Mich makes no difference. Where do we get that stuff, anyway? A publisher in New York has arranged to bring ( ut a book containing one hundred of J o s 1 y n ' s modernistic compositions. Soon, the babbling intelligentsia will be asking each other what they think of Joslyn and wisely nod approval, for it is important to forward-lookers that they seem up-to-date on all things art istic however little they may know what lies behind it all. THE CHICAGOAN 7 Seated in the one-armed chairs of Thompson's this week was as uni que a couple as you'd observe in a month of Sundays. The man was about 45, tattered and unkempt, while the girl with him was about 16, blue eyed, golden haired and as fair and as beautiful a creature as nature ever had a hand in. He was telling her that if she would place herself solely under his direction and management, she would attain the stardom in the theatre that her soul hungered for; and she seemed to believe in his ability to ac complish this! With endless and exhaustive in struction and advice and charts on every conceivable phase of life from choosing baby's talcum to dodging ali mony, why should life be difficult? Why should financial and social success be so elusive? If, according to the various guides, we follow their behest, all that is necessary to acquire a few millions is to rise when the cock crows and retire with the chickens (barn yard, of course). And to win the lady of your dreams, one has simply to find a balcony, a guitar, a moon and a will ing girl. To become beautiful use a certain kind of soap and to attain a ripe old age one has only to eat a sufficient quantity of cabbage. It is all so ridiculously simple according to the various columns of information in our newspapers that we wonder why peo ple go on yearning. FOR the benefit of the fans who expect us to discover places, we recommend a jaunt along the lake front some evening after ten, beginning at Oak Street and going north. At that hour will be seen tones of sky, lake and trees that would have ap pealed to the imagination of a Whis tler, not to mention the figures of brooding males who sit for hours until they depart for their nightly snooze. Of course, here and there is a chap with his cutie but in the main, the silent men on the benches hidden in part by shadows or tree trunks, are fit ting themes for our Chicago poets. The poet who can symbolize the silent men on the lake front has more in store for him than the enthusiasm of apprecia tive friends and editors : Think of lec ture dates to be had with women's clubs and naive college societies; pub lishers' blurbs that turn one's head, etc. However, it wouldn't surprise us if emotionally frustrated ladies function ing as social workers and uplifters were to busy themselves with numerous vis its to the lake front whereof we speak and thus, alas, frighten away the hu man material fit for a Sandberg or a de Maupessant. — The Chicagoans. He'. I say, weren't we married at one time or another? She: It's quite possible. I'll look it up! THECI4ICAG0AN "I WILL"— ERS An uniformed inquiring reporter ac costed a prosperous looking man on Michigan boulevard. "What is your favorite color?" asked the cub. The prosperous looking man glared indignantly at the cub and burst out: "Yellow !" Traffic stopped while Johnny Hertz crossed the boulevard ! Stanley Field wants his Lake Bluff estate tobe the summer quarters of the Field Museum. "It's so much cooler here in the woods by the lake," he says. True. And how the dinosaurs will love it! zQ_2 Samuel Insull has been busy lately trying to discover some phase of civic enterprise or activity in which he has no controlling interest. It's his first unsuccessful undertaking! William Wrigley, just returned from his island in the Pacific, claims that gum alone will make the world safe for democ racy. "You can't have freedom without elas ticity," says he. Edna I. Asmus and Albert J. Carreno "It's a meaty subject," replied Louis Swift when asked for his opinion on the subject of world peace. It isn't every day that world problems can be reduced to the consistency of a hot dog! TWECI4ICAG0AN 9 ACCOUCHMENT This department will now jump four or six kilometers ahead of any other similar department catering to the sophisticate by taking its readers on a pilgrimage through the sacred Elysian places where brain chil dren are conceived! We shall be privy to each agonizing throe, each wild-eyed stare, each individual gasp and yea, each exquisite convulsion that is part and parcel of the inflorescence of a play! We shall watch the miserable wretch in the slough of despond, shall witness his desolation, prostration and frustration as he feverishly pushes pen, pencil or portable Corona across harm less foolscap — and perchance if we are cat-like of tread, we may steal behind his chair and observe his characters sneering up at him in defiance, mock ing his carefully planned tension and suspension, curiosity and interest, climax and thrill, until he would flee to Dante's delightful Inferno for sanc tuary! .... We are now in the humble garret of Launcelot Lorraine, poet-playwright-laureate-whatnot ! Sh ! lest the floor squeak and betray your presence. Ah ! See — there he sits scratching feverishly — we are perhaps watching the evolution of The Great American Play and so we doff our chapeaux in humble reverence for wasn't Christ born in a manger? Look — he has stopped writing — can the play be finished? No, for he begins to rumple his hair and push the long flowing strands northward from his ex pansive brow — a gesture undeniably associated with genius — now he begins to pace the floor — up and down — up and down — like a caged animal. Now he is muttering — let us listen! Laiuncelot Lorraine (pacing floor, haggard, unkempt, wild-eyed he mut ters) : "Now, in scene sixteen of act one, I have Sir James Redmond of the Phila delphia Redmonds, discover that his eighth or ninth wife, visited Niagara Falls on a previous honeymoon, and had kept the terrible strain secret by paying four million two hundred and ten dollars, plus the scalper's price, to a unionized blackmailer in good stand ing. Now, assuming all this, and as suming further that the critics, so- called, will differ with me, what would Redmond's natural reaction be? Would he man-like confront her and fling the obloquy at her blonde head, or would he be big and fine and noble and generous and stop her allowance? Let me see — it sounds plausible, but I must handle it deftly or it will be come too clean ! I must think — I must think!" And so dear readers, we watch him think — we see the alert mind in action — truly a sight! After he has smoked eight Perfectos Le Gorgonzolas and quaffed three gallons of coffee, we see his face illumine — undoubtedly an in spiration has descended upon him, for with a glad inarticulate cry, he seizes his pen and excitedly blackens the sheet before him. Cramped and holding our breath for four hours we feel neverthe less duly rewarded for he has risen, the sheet of paper in his hand, and little suspecting that alien ears are cocked, he reads aloud the scene de resistance of his opus! For the benefit of those of our dear readers who were unable to accompany us, we quote the scene verbatim: — and, well — (she bites her lips) he took advantage of me — and — and — " Sir James Redmond (agonizingly) : "Don't — don't — say it — I couldn't bear more most hardly!" Madeline (continuing nevertheless in dull monotone) : "I've tried — yes, I've tried, Sir James — to make amends — to make you a* good wife — to be a good mother to whatever offsprings sprang to us — and if — (her nether lip trembles tremblingly) if — you can't forgive and forget and begin anew and afresh and clean and splendid — why I — I — much as I love you, I will go — and I shall not ask for one cent more alimony than I can get — I promise you that at least — at least that I promise!" Sir James Redmond (much moved, he walks thoughtfully over to where her prostrate form lay when he kicked her a week ago, and kneeling says huskily) : "Then, Madeline, by all the theatrical managers on Broadway, and Goddammit to hell, I forgive you!" Curtain ! Sir James Redmond (tragically and yet not too tragically) : "Ah, Made line, Madeline — how could you? I trusted you so ! How could you ? And why? Why?" Madeline (en dishabille so that we can plainly see her bosom rising and falling and falling and rising, heaving heavy heaves) : "Ah, Sir James, alas and alack, what did I know of such things — of such places — of such men — I trusted him with all the faith and trust and innocence of a woman of forty who had been but thrice married We pause for breath . . . the scene was too terrific . . . How Launcelot's eyes glowed as he finished reading it — he danced the Charleston and in utter abandon yelled aloud his triumph : "At last, at last — success — another 'ABIE'!" And seeing our chance to escape by the rear door while he was in such high glee, we shot him and clubbed him and danced on his carcass, and slid out into the night! And thus, dear readers, are plays born and authors killed! — Harry Segall. 10 TI4ECI4ICAGOAN footnote/ on headline/ From Madrid comes word that the inhabitants of a little village called Pueblo de Babianes, are fleeing before swarms of white ants which are de vouring everything in sight, even to eating rings arounds the foundations of the houses. Can you imagine what would happen to this village and its inhabitants if some of our famous Chi cago cockroaches decided to gather there. A man froze his ears near the Cool- -tl-idge summer home at Osgood Lake. Evidently trying to keep cool with Coolidge. A cafe owner was recently held up -ZVand robbed of $880.00! Huh, what's that? Three cover charges! We read that married women teachers serving in the New York public schools, will be limited to bearing but two children! We hope the stork will bear this in mind and deposit his triplets, quadruplets and quintettes elsewhere. Aconstable of Indianapolis was ii forced to arrest his wife last week and consign her to the hoosegow. For the benefit of all married men who wish peace and quiet in the home, this profession offers many advantages. Civil service blanks can be had upon application. MR. weil, who popularized the yellow color, has at the request of one of our judges, agreed to take a five-year-vacation at one of our finest resorts. And he has duly earned it for his increasing efforts to educate the gullible! Many a night he worked without grumbling. However, we are afraid Mr. Weil's devotion to his art will not let him abstain entirely from his inimitable and altogether delightful technique. It seems, however, that we could have used him to promote a Chi cago subway before we allowed him to retire. One of Chicago's wealthy police men, being sued for divorce, was cited to have an income of $500.00 per month from various business connec tions. What would be more interest ing than a list of these sources of in come — ? A flood in Yorkville, Illinois, great ly damaged the State Fish Hatch ery and swept away approximately one million five hundred thousand Roe. Can you imagine anything more heart rending than the wail of a Shad calling its Roe! Harold bell wright Turns Cat tleman! Anyone can tell from reading only one of his several thousand novels that he is exceptionally fitted in this direc tion. The United States is going to pay a fifty-year-old debt to the Pima In dians, by constructing the Coolidge Dam on the Gila River, fifty miles east of Florence, Arizona. How silly to pay them in dams when Woolworth still has a plentiful supply of glass beads. Will h. hayes has been signed up as czar of the motion pic tures until 1936, at an annual salary of $150,000. We hope Mr. Hayes is of an economic turn of mind as with the current prices of wiener schnitzel the salary seems hardly enough. AN 10 wa girl recently became en gaged to an Evanston youth. Bully! More of these interesting mar riages are needed ! It's a long jump from operatic roles to the duties of hotel proprietor, but Fredrik A. Chramer of the Chelsea Hotel is nothing if not a long distance jumper. When the temperamental harrangues became too involved for his artistic soul, he harked to the call of "hoteling" and in one leap made it. Result — while operatic stars glisten, hotel owners eat regularly — and due to his golden voice his guests are loathe to depart from his establish ment. With his personality he could sell spectacles to goldfish! Not even the gentlemen who write the glowing "come-ons" for the four million realty subdividers our city boasts of can approach in point of "Milt Gross' exaggerations," the thea trical press agents; as an example, "Castles in the Air" they tell us is: "The most wonderful musical play the world has ever seen." George white's "Scandals" opened in New York last week to an ad mission of $55.00 per seat. Papini's "Life of Christ" sells for $2.00! Arthur Brisbane please note. — The Reporter. The bridge goes up, the driver hollers, The cop looks on with smile sera phic ; A barge of coal worth thirty dollars Completely stops the north side traffic. Grant Park is a versatile sort of a place ; It welcomes with smiling and affable face Prelatical pageants exalted and holy, Or crews from the wilds with a rare ovis poli. THE CHICAGOAN JOCIETY Knee deep in July, Chicago so ciety will read The Chicagoan at seashore and on mountain side, in fishing camp and on ocean steamer — in short, almost any place but in Chi cago itself. Even Lake Forest, our most fashionable colony to the North, Chicago's Newport some call it, is get ting restless after two months of its own society, and by the first of the month will be closing its collective wal nut doors, covering its period furniture, and wandering off for a little snifter of salt air — or up North for some fishing or maybe out west where the ranches are principally of the species "Dude." June was such a wearing month ! Princes and prelates are all very wTell as visitors — but they are, to say the least — exhaustingly formal. And brides (such a wholesale raft of them this year) society's brides, do get tremend ously self-centered with so much atten tion. July, now, has been less exact ing, so far. The Onwentsia Horse Show is always fun. There is nothing self conscious about it. Everyone on the magnificent estates goes to it, either to sit in the rudely, constructed boxes, or to cluster with nurses and govern esses, chauffeurs and stable boys around the ring. Of course, when I say every one I mean those leaders of the younger smart set and their families who main tain homes there — so that their men, who have not yet earned or inherited — their fortunes, may be close to the mak ing of them in LaSalle Street. You will not see the Potter Palmers, the older members of the Blair clan ; nor those of the Keep family there ; the William Chalmers, the older branches of the Cudahy clan, the Carpenters nor the Cunninghams. Nor the Richard Cranes, nor the older Swifts nor the Bowens. Not even the Pikes, nor the Hibbards, nor the Holdens — for all of these prefer the seashore to the Lake Shore for their whole summer through. But of all these families the youngsters and their youngsters are there — the Chatfield-Taylors, the younger McCormicks,theNiblacks, the Mitchell Blairs and the McCormick Blairs, Stanley Fields two married daughters, the young Hale Holdens, the Howard Linns, the McGanns and the Farwells — all descendants of those first Lake Foresters who made it and kept it the exclusive summer dwelling place of Chicago's real society. This year more than ever before the show belonged to the young folks. Jeanne Schweppe, whose parents were hosts at one of the loveliest of the parties for the Crown Prince and Prin cess of Sweden in their Tudor mansion by the Lake, and Jack Schweppe, who slept in a pup tent on the grounds so that his room might be given to one of the Prince's staff — showed their ponies. Those two sturdy sons of the Stuyvesant Peabodys — Patrick and Francis S. Peabody, III., came over from Hinsdale with their own entries. These two young gentlemen, about ten and twelve respectively, born and bred in the atmosphere of the old Mayslake Hunt, showed their own horses, and could tell you anything about the pedi gree of those horses that you might care to know ... a knowledge that they come by from their parents who have been raising their own horses for years — until now they have a race horse that is doing them proud. Is it any wonder with their heritage that the boys have "horse sense" enough to exhibit in their own names at so important a show? The splendor of June as a bridal month is challenged this year by July — and even early August. Three of the weddings that will interest society the most are taking place this month and next. Today the shy and gentle Adlaide Pierce, who flees from pub licity with the same persistency that some of her friends seek it, becomes the bride of young Samuel Insull. Now, no one would ever say that Sam is shy, but he has fallen quite into the spirit of silence on the subject of his wedding plans, just as his lovely fiancee would have him. All the publicity connected with his brilliant little mother's return to the stage, was enough for the family — too much, per- 11 haps they think — and so the nuptial affairs of these well known young peo ple have been less heralded than the most inconspicuous clerk's in the great Peoples' Gas Company's might have been. Pretty little Martha Morse's mar riage to Carl Stibolt on the 24th, will not be unheralded. The Charles Morses are certainly in no sense seekers of the limelight, but they belong to that delightfully worldly class of peo ple who do things nicely — even grandly — and about the marriage of a daughter they give what the press calls "the conventional wedding information" with a nice grace. Their garden party reception for Martha will be a charm ing one, although not perhaps as large as it might have been had it been given in June when everyone was at home, and the social life centered in Lake Forest. The bride, who has been a student of home economics, has al ready furnished her own home, and as the mistress of that little menage will (Continued on page 26) Miss- Catherine Norcross, the daugh ter of Mr. Frederick F. Norcross, will be married to Stephen Y. Hord in October. Miss Norcross has spent the past two months travelling in Europe collecting her trousseau, and is expected home this month. She is a third genera tion Chicagoan — related to several of Chicago's oldest and most aristocratic families — among them the Arthur Meekers and the Wrenns. Her sister Phoebe married Richard Bentley, son of the Cyrus Bentleys, and they make their home in Lake Forest the year 'round. ¦ — Drake Studio. 12 TI4E CHICAGOAN <7he THEATRE Artistic Slaughter on Broadway Broadway, messieurs et m e s - dames, is becoming serious! It wants to think! Namby-pamby plays wherein the harassed hes and shes at the final curtain lock arms and lips, are being eschewed as lacking suffi cient substance to sink one's teeth into ! The cry is for bloody climaxes and so tragedy stark and unrelenting stalks nightly through Broadway's biggest successes! The clink of gold into the Belascoan coffers keeps perfect syn- chronance with Lenore Ulric's artistic guttural death gasps as she is garroted by the dexterous fingers of Henry Hull in the high-yellow carnival "Lulu Belle," and, no less golden music is heard by A. H. Woods as Florence Reed in "The Shanghai Gesture" croons over the corpse of her lovely, thought prurient half-caste daughter into whose boiling innards she regular ly at eleven o'clock inserts eight or nine inches of pure Sheffield steel! James Rennie as "The Great Gatsby" is neatly dispatched by a bullet at every performance amid feminine sighs and capacity audiences. And who is un familiar with the abrupt demise in a Hispano Suiza of the lady who wore her green hat pour le sport? Other plain and fancy murders flourish, though in lesser degree, in ad ditional offerings and furnish irrefut able proof that murder is coming into its own as a fine art and keenly relished when artistically accomplished. To what influence can this taste be attributed? Can it be laid to Chap man or Whittemore or to Chicago's own delightful exterminators? At any rate, whatever the cause, the unhappy ending ends happily for its entrepe- neurs and therefore here for a stay. Playwrights abreast of the pendulum and who seek respect at their banks will not write finis to their opus with out having at least incorporated therein one diverting scene of butchery! While he may acquire a modicum of success with dramaturgy dealing with simple concupiscience, he will not attain packed houses unless he has combined it with the other. Actors and actresses, too, will display due perspicacity by accepting employment only in plays wherein there is decimation of one or more of the cast! One of my readers may hold up "Abie's Irish Rose" in scathing refutation of the above, and in reply I would say: "Know'st not that the most harrowing murder of all is in this jocosity ? Forsooth, hast heard English more brutally slain?" A Review When "sex" opened at Daly's theatre in New York it was accorded less attention by the gentlemen of the press than is given to a woolen-socked spinster when she lifts her skirts. They feared a full report of the play would cause an on rush to the theatre identical to an eve ning in Leblang's basement and so they refused to help along a thing so pornographic. This method of squelch ing filth is akin to hiding the existence of garbage by covering it with tissue- paper! How immeasurably better to give such an exhibition lengthy discus sion and proper flaying so that it would arouse decent folk to action of some sort. Had Earl Carroll's bathtub party been similarly ignored, he and other stated bon vivants would have gone to still further lengths (or depths) and they would not now be under sentence and public opprobrium. There isn't the minutest speck of blueness on or in the vicinity of our rum-detecting protuberance, yet we feel when such inexecrably vile stuff is produced and allowed to be, that the stage's honor and high esteem is being very gravely menaced. There is one revolting "piece of business" in the first act of this thing (we cannot hon estly dignify it by calling it a play) that could not be perpetrated in a bawdy-house without causing its in mates to blush and the dialog is of a kidney befitting a business agent for a strumpets union! Throughout the proceedings Mae West, a buxom blonde in the role of "hatrack" wig gles her oofty-goofty hither and yon in a manner that makes the old time "cootchie" seem like a minuet! If there were artistry — vision — characteriza tion — delicacy — understanding — con nected with it it might have some ex cuse for being — but it hasn't — not a particle. It is handled with all the finesse of a butcher hacking away at the ribs of a cow! "Lulu Belle" and "Shanghai Ges ture" certainly deal with sex in its most lurid form yet there is not an offensive second in the plays and we are loud in our praise of both these offer ings, but this thing. Ugh ! r"pHE title of Anita Loos' play "Gen- ¦*• tlemen Prefer Blondes!" may give our flaxen-haired ladies a false valua tion of themselves inasmuch as Gen tlemen only Prefer Blondes when there are no Titians or Brunettes about! Ask Dad! We were given quite a shock the other evening when after a full five minutes after the rise of the first curtain of a play not a single, solitary "Hell" or "Goddam" or "Son-of-a- something" floated across the foot lights. Gentlemen, this can't go on! We are waiting for some highly original playwright to burst forth daily with an opus styled "ZULU BELLE" and rushing it into production in Chicago thus getting a two or three years start on Belasco in this fair city! The recent advent of Raquel Meller at $25 per seat should prove to Spain how simple it would be when her exchequer needs replenishing to send her Songbirds to these shores and leave her Ministers of Finance and plenipotentiaries extraordinary at home to study singing. H. Bernard. THE CHICAGOAN 13 POUR LE SPORT She had never heard that Michael Arlen's real name is Dikran Kouyoumoujian, but she had al ready suffered enough — oh, how she had suffered! Men may say thus and thus about her, but she was far too young to be an outcast. Yet outcast she was. The passing years had played havoc with her own particular type of pulchritude and dissipation marked her features in manner unmistakable. Tiger-tawny was the shabby fur coat which had served her for many seasons; it did little towards countering the icy blasts that cut the December night like a rapier. No one had ever accused her of being a white tower of scarlet de light. Her eyes, which were like two spoonfuls of the Mediterranean at 6 :53 of an angel-kissed morning in July, scanned the faces of the happy-go-lucky throng that paraded Piccadilly. She had hoped that she would recognize one of them; but these were all strang ers — commuters, sightseeing Babbitts, butter-and-egg men. . . . Oh, how she yearned for the old days — those dear, dear dead days in Mayfair before she was initiated into a life of riotous nights and equally riotous living. She was pure, then, and undefiled, and knew not the glamour and tinsel of the streets that are paved with broken hearts. . . . Through the crystal-clear night beckoned the lights of an iniquitous night club, where she knew she could — The bulky figure of a bobby turned the corner, and she fled before his men acing eyes. Times without number this official menial of the law had prevented her from following the dictates of her nature. Was he never to cease per secuting her? Before the stage entrance of a thea tre in the West End she paused. Glancing over her shoulder to see if the bobby were following, she perceived that he was engaged in conversation with a girl wearing a scarlet tam-o'- shanter. . . . Oh, Eve and your fig- leaf! Breathing a sigh of intense relief, she gave her attention to the warped door before her, hoping that soon would pass through it an actor who had once befriended her. But the min utes moved by on leaden wings, and he did not appear. Crushed, she turned away. The sight of a more fortunate sister made hei bewail her fate. Through the crystal-clear nigh t beckoned the lights of an iniquitous night club, where she knew she could — A voice, a well-modulated masculine voice, made her turn suddenly. "Does your mother know you're out?" She did not answer, but chose in stead to move closer to her facetious interrogator, to whose boyish good looks and natty style of dressing she had taken an immediate fancy. "Hungry?" She ragarded him in such a way that her questioner could not mistake the evidence of hunger-pangs that gleamed in her world-wise eyes. In another moment, happy in the thought that she had at last found a benefactor, she was walking westward with her new-found friend, in whose apartment, after a bitterly-needed meal, she had hopes of spending the night — and, if things went right, a thousand nights to come. Painted, million - eyed Piccadilly many blocks behind them, they pres ently came to a more or less exclusive apartment hotel, the management of which was averse to harboring such as she. But she did not know this. Her new-found friend hesitated for a moment; then, turning to her with a wink, said: "I don't know whether they allow this sort of thing here. I fear they don't, but I'll see what I can do. The clerk is a ripping good sort — belongs to the same fraternal organization as I." Her heart beating like a pendulum in her breast, she watched him enter the brilliantly-lighted lobby and ap proach the desk, where the clerk, a veritable sartorial triumph with a sleek black pompadour and an equally sleek black moustache with waxed ends, greeted him warmly, and hope beat high within her. But a moment later, when she saw the clerk emphatically shake his head, hope died. "Well, I'm afraid, old thing, that there's nothing doing!" was the way her knight broke the news to her a moment later. Through the crystal-clear night beckoned the lights of an iniquitous night club, where she knew she could — A moment later she started thither as fast as her four legs could carry her. Like the Dolly Sisters she had four; for you see she was only a feline animal in three letters, horizontal or vertical. — Willard King Bradley. 14 TWECUICAGOAN IMPERTURBABILITY ' -ICLERKI //Orn CL£?fK- 'PARDON ME, SIR- something r can do - GO£ST- * r HATE" - *=^-^ BUT - BUT IS THERE FOR YOU ? ZJEH -I I- TO TROUBLE YOU" H L -U MY ROOM'S ON FIRE /* TI4ECI4ICAGOAN 15 WILLIAM ANTHONY McGUIRE The primary point of difference be tween William Anthony McGuire and most other playwrights is that his ambition lies not upon the dizzy precipice where dangles the great American drama. He strives rather for 100 per cent entertainment well mixed in a broth of emotionalism and truth. If, however, he should, in the not distant future, achieve the goal which has been the aim, and inciden tally, the despair of every American playwriter since the theatre has been elevated to a position of one of our native arts, it will be merely in the line of faithful duty to entertian audi ences rather than to seek classical honors. McGuire's latest offering, "If I Was Rich," now at the La Salle Thea tre and admittedly written with a view of providing Joe Laurie, Jr., with a suitable starring vehicle, serves as an example of what McGuire considers highly amusing theatre fare. He has taken as his characters people of strongly contrasting types, yet of the sort met with in everyday life in this year of grace. He has evolved a story overflowing with wholesome laughter, yet sometimes tugging at the heart strings in moments of human appeal. Entertainment, moreover, ins't all that McGuire has provided. In "The Divorce ?" written as an answer to Joseph Medill Patterson's book, "Re bellion," McGuire discoursed on the evil facing the American family be cause of the alarming increase in sepa rations. "Six Cylinder Love" humor ously portrayed the direful results of owning an automobile when sufficiem greenbacks are not always at hand to meet the many and unexpected ex penses that fall to the lot of a car pur chaser. In "Twelve Miles Out" which has been running all year in New York, he raises the clarion cry for more tolerance, and this melodra matic comedy stresses the activities of rum-runners and hijackers. In "If I Was Rich" McGuire points out the futility of "bluffing," in business and takes a dig at philandering wives who covet adornment beyond the limits of their husbands' purses. McGuire would rather write the things his soul implores than on order merely because the latter would guar antee him much money. However, he feels that the big plays that have been brewing in his fertile Celtic cranium will be all the better for biding his time. He has two big modern plays in min at this writing. Illness overtook him early in life, so that he was forced to curtail his elementary education when in the fifth grade in the schools. But he studied by lamplight and he prepared himself so that he passed the entrance exam inations to Notre Dame. There he wrote his first play, which actually saw the light of production. He called this "The Walls of Wall Street," and with Allan Dwan, now famous in the cinema, but who was then a college professor, produced the drama in South Bend. Both McGuire and Dwan en acted the leading roles. "The Walls of Wall Street" was written by Mc Guire at the age of 21, but even before that — when he was 17 — he ground out his first dramatic piece, titled, "Sol diers of the Cardinal," which got no farther than the print shop. He spent $110 to put it between the covers of a book, and then spent five years in a vain endeavor to have public libraries accept the play for circulation. No whit discouraged by the public apathy toward hjis "The Walls of Wall Street," he found employment on the South Bend News as dramatic critic. Later he went to New York where at the age of 23 years, he wrote "The Heights," a starring vehicle for Frank Keenan. In one week it was thrown into the reservoir of plays that (Continued on page 22) The Art Galleries Summer in the galleries is, usu ally, the dullest of seasons. Even in Paris, where they mob a "ver- nissage" as we would a Dempsey- Wills bout. At least, that is the impression which the native Parisian will assidu ously endeavor to convey. As for Chicago, where art is frowned upon whenever it breaks beyond the decorous boundaries of the back page of the society section, what is there to expect? The Eucharistic Congress has come and gone, with its show of, fre quently, rather dubious old masters at the Pier. Our Jewish brethren have had their say, and by no means an un impressive one, in the Bezalel exhibit at the Morrison. These are about the best the record has to show since The Chicagoan went to press last. As for the Institute, it is showing the work of students. Interesting, sometimes — more interesting, upon oc casion, than the work of more prac ticed craftsmen. But hardly heavy. The exhibit of Hungarian prints is worth noting, and worth seeing. The Arts club, our one outstanding local oasis, is "dark," as the showmen say. As to the more distinctly com mercial exhibit rooms, with the ex ception of the Chester Johnson gal leries, where the Alfeo Faggi show of sculpture continues, there is nothing to get excited about. The Palette and Chisel club is show ing paintings and sculptures by mem bers, while the Chicago Galleries as sociation advertises a "new summer ex hibit of paintings by artist members.'" Meanwhile, many local artists are migrating. Salcia Bahne has gone to New York, where she has taken a studio for the summer. Miss Bahne has just completed a large canvas which she calls "Shulamith". Sam Os- trowsky has left for Paris for an inde finite stay. An overworked chronicler, most overworked when there is least to re port, can only and by praying that something in the nature of a midsum mer and aesthetic earthquake may oc cur before the time comes to get up his stuff for the next edition. Or, possibly, one might take advan tage of sesquicentennial rates and take a little run down to New York. The "New Group", with headquarters at Neuman's, promises much. But that is treason — — Samuel Putnam. 16 TUE CHICAGOAN MOST of my evenings at home are made intolerable by visits from the girl in the third floor back, who always raps at my door for a visit whenever she sees a light in my key-hole. Her name is Lucy Ellen, and I can best describe her by saying that she is a virgin just dying to be otherwise — an unwilling vestal, truly! Her continual line of chatter is about her high moral stand ards, about the woman pays, etc., etc., etc., which, of course, is merely a chal lenge to make her prove it. I smile within myself, and talk as shockingly as I can, and she simply wont allow herself to wince at the most startling word, though I know she feels herself outraged already. There's nothing she likes to talk about as much as the dou ble moral standard, and though she continually bemoans the fact that the woman gets the raw deal, I know she wouldn't have it otherwise for any thing. Secure in my masculinity, I scoff at virtue and eulogize sin, while she listens breathlessly, thrilled to the core, yet voicing righteous protests against such libidinous philosophy. The YES OR NO other night she brought in a book for me to read, and, glancing through the pages, this is one of the passages I found marked with a pencil: "What has she done ? What furious beast within him had she let loose? If only she could defend herself; if only she could get free; if she could reach for something to strike him. 'Joe, I command you to put me down!' Why did he not answer? That ter rible expression that had come into his eyes! With one hand she clutched his beard, with the other she beat his face. Was he without feeling? Was he mad? Why was he so silently, in evitably, crushing the life out of her?" And a little farther on, this is un derlined : "How could she ever face the world again ? How could such a thing have come to her? She had had her warn ing many years before, had learned them that she was secure so long as she held to her standards — any woman was — why had she forsaken them?" Not only is Lucy Ellen afflicted with the moral sense, but she also has the "moot question" complex: everything "Proud accomplishment, but if "re- is debatable. No matter what inter rogation you put to her, she always an swers it: "Yes and no," which sounds quite profound at first, boring after a few repetitions, and both ridiculous and exasperating after a whole evening. Also, she proudly confides that really, way down deep in her, she is very wi-i-i-ild, but that her "high standards" keep her on the straight and narrow. She lets me in on the fact that there is a certain young man "with a Jordan roadster, I'll have you know," who is very devilish, and to whom she is "as tinder to the flame," and who keeps her in such a state of emotion that she can allow herself to see him only once in six months! Also, there was a man, a married man: he knew, and she knew, and he knew that she knew, and she knew that he knew, and he knew that she knew he knew, (Continued on page 27) Phrenology is pure bunk! So is palmistry! As an illustration, you may, in running your hand over your friend's head, feel a bump, the contour of which gives every indi cation that the said friend is intended to be a world famous sculptor or brick layer, whereas, the truth might be that the said bump was placed there by friend wife, friend husband or any other obliging friend ; or, because one had not bent low enough in riding atop a bus when passing a bridge. In fact, there are so many ways one may ac quire bumps that the science of phren ology is too risky a thing to go by. Palmistry too, is inaccurate, for un less you live outside of Chicago, the dirt accumulation in one's hands might easily form misleading lines! But — there is a science true as the Bertillon System which we can turn to and which in addition to being fool proof offers one great private enjoy- LEGOLOGY ment during the tedious rides to and from the Loop each day. This science is called "Legology." The best laboratory is the "L" — one of those coaches that have only two rows of seats running the full length of the car being preferable. After hav ing glanced over your favorite sections of the morning or evening paper, you will find this sheet a logical aid in your analysis of — the legs that confront you. (Of course, I am supposing that you are one of the fortunate ones that al ways gets a seat.) By raising your paper to a knee-level perspective of the passengers across the aisle, the passengers, save from their knees down, are totally eclipsed. And — that's just the effect you want! Thus, with your own face safely hidden behind the daily blurb, you can guess something of the personalities be longing to the legs across the aisle. But, not until you have reached definite conclusions concerning each person, should you lower your paper, sigh heavily, and, with pretended ennui, check up on your mental notations. As you see, the whole thing is charm ingly casual. And no one is the wiser but yourself. If your analysis has been faulty, neither you nor the object of your inspection will ever know it! I shall share with you this dazzling, dangling conglomeration which offered itself for inspection from under my newspaper the other morning. Al though I possess just average intelli gence, I figured my "batting average" with this group was somewhere around ninety-five. Instinctively, I knew that the fat woman with the be-tassled garters was neither fair nor forty. She was trying TUECI4ICAG0AN < 17 i' 4 ?it&#.#» 6**£&4 hard, though, with all the frills and furballows created for the vanity of woman, to look as young and giddy as the flapper a few seats away. But, emulation is at times embar rassing as it was in this case. For the flapper (I guessed correctly) was as sleek and attractive, though character less, as her snappy patent leather pumps and well-shaped legs. True to my con jecture, she wore her small hat on the back of her head. I catalogued her as "somebody's stenog." Then there was the inevitable dude. His white spats, black patent leather shoes and black and white striped hose gave him away. I could see — without peeking — a small, 'under-nourished mustache decorating his upper lip. He might well have been the careful hero in some second rate vaudeville skit mouthing such delicatessen as : "Mothah, mothah, pin a rose on me." proceed, without embarrassment, to And — where can you go without see ing that dear boy who will be "col legiate?" He sat just across from me, gracefully resting one number eleven on the other. His long, twenty-inch- wide trousers could not conceal his bare, stump-like legs, and the futuiistic socks which hung bunched around his ankles. I felt sure that he was wear ing a "collegiate" sweater. Never hav ing finished high school he was prob ably employed as a soda fountain clerk in one of the loop's many cut-rate diug stores. When I checked up on him I was convinced that industry had robbed the cradle. Then there was the graceless, age less female with the lizard skin pumps. I couldn't help but feel that she was married. No unmarried woman wear ing the latest in lizard skin would risk so awkward a position. "Money but no brains," I decided seeking new ma terial more interesting for analysis. Delighted I found him — a curious conflict of "boob" and "shiek"! The position of his feet recalled an old tin type in the family album. But his loud hose and checked trousers "sounded" like a bowery song I had once heard. Here, indeed, was a lamb trying to be a lion. Poor man, he probably sat on a high stool all day, making little figures in a ledger. My sympathetic overtures were rudely checked by the raucous bellow of the trainman reminding me that Madison and Wells had been reached. Already! What a shame, with so many pairs of legs still unanalysed! The time was much too short to do justice to the wealth of material this laboratory afforded. Only a ride to the extreme city limits, I decided, would give the time necessary to do full justice to a comprehensive study of legology. So more of this anon ! — Edna I. Asmus. 18 TI4ECWCAG0AN <' 4* " EVANSTON*' SOURCE OF RIP-ROARING VICE- PRESIDENTS, STUDEr4T"RIOTS , KNOWLEDGE, ETC, ^WILSON AVENUES GOLD PROSPECTORS CAMP (RIGHT FOR THE PARTICULAR OR ASK V0«R NEAREST BACHELOR) <+- CHICAGO AVENUE -*" TWE £0/»L OF MAIL ORDER EMPLOYEES NEAR THE BEAUTIFUL SCENIC CHICAGO RIVER RANDOLPH & WELLS WHERE THE "STIFF ARM" AND SCRIMMAGE. AS USED IN FOOTBALL, ORIGINATED 35t* ST. —* LITTLE GEORGIA' /NSULL's (jo) MINUTE (to the loop)/W£ N JACKSON PARK-END OF LINE BIG MEN CHASING LITTLE BALLS TI4ECI4ICAGOAN 19 THE HALITOSIS CRAZE IF there is any truth at all in the statements of present day adver tisements, everyone is now suffer ing from the cruel ravages of halitosis. How bitterly they actually suffer these vivid advertisements tell us in heart rending and graphic words which can not but fill us with a terrible forebod ing of the awful fate in store for us, if we do not act in time. Not so very long ago the magazine pages were aglow with descriptions of milady's beautiful skin, of her pearly teeth, of her starry eyes. They dwelt at length upon how we might all be equally beautiful if we would simply follow example and buy so-and-so or this-or-that. The picture presented to us was decidedly alluring. But all this has been changed. We now hear only of the horrible catastro- phies that will befall us if we do not employ the advertised products and we purchase them thru fear and dread of the future rather than from any feeling of delightful anticipation. We no longer hear of dental powder that will give us snow-white teeth or the alluring smile that for so many years has graced the faces in the back of the magazines; these are merely in cidental to the new business in hand. The new subject matter is the all-ab sorbing statement that if we do not at once begin to use their life saver, we will have no teeth at all. Sometimes we read long columns of literature before we finally discover what they are really talking about and what it is we are going to be saved from, but do not be discouraged for the secret of good advertising is to keep the reader in suspense as long as pos sible and not to let him suspect till he gets to the bitter end, what it is all about. The reward for his gnawing curiosity is gratification enough how ever, for who would not rejoice to learn that he is about to be rescued from the jaws of pyorrhea or more horrible still, from the desperate claws of halitosis. These are the popular favorites of the day although now and then we find a few kind words in favor of goiter and one or two others, to cheer us a little. "Do not envy a good goiter, — acquire one of your own," is one of these attractive little slogans that shows us that no matter what happens we have only ourselves to blame. But although there are still many evils advertised in the market today, the leading and most prevalent one is without question, halitosis. We can turn scarcely a page without seeing some mention of this overwhelming offence. We have it and yet do not know we have it, although our friends are fully conscious that we have it, but won't tell us! And we know they have it and won't tell them. It is an interesting state of affairs, full of de lightful uncertainty because the trag edy is such an illusive one. Halitosis is the cause of nine-tenths of the present day evils, according to the advertisements; it would be impos sible to enumerate them all. Why men leave home, take to drink and insult their wives — halitosis. Why girls sit alone and unsought at dances, deco rating the wall for only one reason — halitosis. Why women get up from the card table, refusing to play with the handsomest man in the room — hali tosis. (This little detail shows the great distance that halitosis can throw its fatal waves. We are surprised that the exploiters of it have not described people dashing out of railroad trains because a man in the car ahead was so afflicted.) If your tailor refuses you credit — halitosis; if your garters break — halitosis. If your Beeveedees don't Beeveedee properly — halitosis. If a taxi hits you — halitosis. If you get a run in your sock — halitosis! Even a scarlet domino cannot dis guise the evil monster, who goes puff ing his way clear on all sides of him and leaving a long line of scowling faces in his orbit. He walks alone on the deck of the steamer, dances not at all and suffers the tortures of the damned because he never knows what is the matter with him. People whis per when they see him coming and draw aside for fear of contamination and the poor man wonders and won ders just what can be wrong. Of course he never asks anyone — that would spoil the plot. Likewise the feminine offender, whose dearest friend would never think of mentioning the dark subject to her, wanders about the world alone, won dering like her fellow-sufferer, what can the matter be. If she is a maid, she is forced to leave her position on account of her sad affliction ; if she is in society, she travels alone, a looker-on to the end of her days. One cannot help but wish some of these ostracized human beings might meet on the promenade deck or on the deserted edge of the ballroom floor. Perhaps the hunted look in their eyes will one day draw them together, even though they may not honestly know how very much they actually have in common. If the most ideal arrange ment could come about, we would some day see a section of the country fenced off to enclose the great percen tage of our population who have come to this sorry pass. There they could enjoy each other's society without the pain of seeing one another turn aside or leave the card table. They might wander about among others of their kind and feel that they were welcome, without being forced to wear an infor mal gas mask. The situation would indeed be ideal. But alas, there seems to be no such pleasure in store for the unconscious offenders for who will have the cour- (Continued on page 30) 20 TWECI4ICAGOAN MU/ICAL NOTE/ There was an old fiddler I saw, once, at Aries, in Southern France. He played a whimsical air that suggested remotely, Carillons, or threadbare strains one hums, forgetting their musical resolutions. He played jerkily, as if jesting with a jazz as yet unborn. He made the trailing ragged children dance like Basque marionettes held by a gay mad man who had ridden down forbidden ways with a Stephens' leprechaun. He had no personality to speak of — just a dirty old wastrel with a pretty trick, if you will, with a fiddle. Yet he spells Aries to me, along with flooding afternoon sunshine in old doorways with surprisingly lovely lintels; with broken lines of extraordinary beauty; perfecting and completing a unique aesthetic experience. De Pachmann, again, what an antic showman of hidden artistic wonder! What a sacreligious mystic with his leering "There! you little squirming public outside the bars of bliss! How about THAT for an epitomised emo tionalized rapture in tone color! See this lace then that Chopin wove for you out of a thousand epics ; a chicane of lilting laughter! an epigram from the gargoyle lips of a Sands masquer ading at light of love!" Yet — De Pachmann is but a quiet little old man. But he has assuredly dallied in unseen places with God knows what of serried shapes in an enchanted moonlight. Remotely remembered comes Ter- nina, exponent sometime of Wagnerian roles. Not a great soprano; perhaps not vocally even in the first rank of the second class. But so compounded of intellect of imaginative understanding, so linking these with adequate vocal coloring that she lingers, a criterion by which the more greatly endowed are still measured, sometimes to fall by the way. Maggie Teyte and Elena Gerhardt have something of this quality. Teyte has beauty, of course, but her voice alone is trivial as a mere instrument apart from that vitality that is able to take a song and make it a pageantry. To Gerhardt we owe the revival of interest in the folksong as anything other than a musical curiosity or a his torical by-product. She has given voice to the essence, the soul, if you will, of a people. From the outside ranks where Raquel Meller has won at the insist- ance of the critics, the would be cog noscenti who have traveled and heard and the clamorous appraisals of box offices, to the shrines where her intri cate art is valued on account of its supreme individuality, one comes to the threshold where she leaves the crowd and assumes that place outside of personality where the few stand rare as the windless days of a Chicago Summer. It is therefore to be seen that outside of personality, of actual or chemically achieved beauty, of the production of "big tone" there comes that projected conception of the supreme artist that is not beauty, or intelligence alone. That is not a mere challenge to the eyes, ears or emotions. That is, as it were, an offering from that vast field of the unknown, the realm of the purely ima ginative where a conception is pre sented in such perfection of unassumed vitality that it comes as an aesthetic Grael. I have not spoken of Chaliapin in this context, not because he does not come within this narrow group headed by my Aries fiddler, to an extraordi nary degree, but because his personality (taking the word at its average rat ing), has, for the most part, obliterated his claim to conquest by the rich gifts be brings to it from the vast field beyond. All of which goes to show that the inner circle of art is peopled not by the overwhelming beauty, by the sublim ated intelligence, for these alone can never hold a group of Aries beggar children or a New York or Chicago audience. It is the expert comming ling of the variables that go to make up life that makes these few able to enter the gate to which many are called — . — Lillian MacDonald. COULDN'T SURVIVE IT Poor Duffer's earthly days are done, His drives no more he's hooking; Last week he made a hole in one When not a soul was looking. J. J. O'CONNELL. TI4C CHICAGOAN 3ook/- GOOD-AND BAD While not sufficient to swarm the streets and get under feet, there are plenty of literary birdies who'll tell you Ben Hecht is significant and indicative of the times. Maybe so. But the Ben Hecht of Count Bruga is significant, more than anything, of the pleasant fact that there is a man alive who can jazz the mystery yarn up to the modern tempo, string it together on the silvered wire of a controlled humor, and employ the whole to pay off the debts and irritations of friendship. I can find one or two comparatively young men in Chicago who remember Hecht and Bodenheim doing their their hilarious act as the smart and rough playboys of the mid-western world, and who also have not for gotten that Max was dubbed "The Count." That, you may take as a clew to Ben's book. And if you need more, read the first twenty or so pages and you'll find the poet, Jules Ganz, a fairly tall man with blond hair and reddish eyebrows, a poet who not only drank like a fish who has swallowed a sponge, but who was inevitably thrown out of parties on his ear, who smoked a corncob pipe at gatherings, and prefaced his pawing of considered females with the regular metaphor, "Your hair is a tortured mid-night." Jules Ganz, wearied of social buffet- ings, became the impossible, but de lightfully startling Count Bruga, donned and baggy tweed trousers, a frock coat edged with gray braid, a silk topper, and continued to look over the heads of all he met. Count Bruga's entrance into mystery occurs when he falls for the material lady evoked by the charlatan, Pan- inin, from the world of rabbits, cut flowers, silk handkerchiefs, and play ing cards. This more graceful sort of Houdini is a devil in his way, mixing the black arts with asbestos revenge. It is the revenge he takes on a thin blooded instructor of Latin, whose wife tipped the magician a merry ha! ha ! in her dancing school days. Panini is murdered, and Count Bruga, under standing the spirit of the man, knows why and by whom. He tells a police lieutenant as much, but the Lieuten ant can't understand, so events take their unnatural course to the end of as gorgeous and brilliant a tale of gro tesque mysterie, frustrated sex-impulse, and portraiture of the ridiculous as you'll find this season or any other. But, before leaving Ben, no review of his stuff is done without a word of his style. Briefly, Count Bruga is a mixture of the manner and phrases of 1001 afternoons with that of Fantazius and Gargoyles, all of which means nothing, but that it is direct, convinc ing, sardonic and reaches true sophisti cation through employing the language of the laboratory only where it is ap propriate. Robert Lynd's "The Money Box" A book from Robert Lynd's pen is always an intellectual treat. His way is not merely ingen ious — it is inimitable. He is at once the child and the master of whim. He possesses the rare gift of investing the commonest experiences of life with an unexpected importance, and for him humor is always lurking round the un- likeliest corners. No writer of our time is more fitted to interpret the ordinary man to himself. It is not the least of his merits that he is able to make us laugh at the dis comforts of life — the agony which every self-respecting man endures when being measured for a suit of clothes or those moments — still more agoniz ing — which one is forced to spend in 21 the barber's chair. Suppose the barber suddenly goes mad? The thought must, at some time or other, have oc curred to most of us. Mr. Lynd has his own rueful memories of barbers: "There was that little French bar ber, for instance, who shaved me dur ing a thunderstorm and who sprang into the air at every flash of lightning. There was also the drunken barber who felt for my cheek with the razor as a drunken man reaches out for some thing and misses it. Having at last brought the razor down on my face, he leaned on it to steady himself, and, by leaning hard, even succeeded in shaving a certain patch on my right jaw!" But the charm of this book, its whimsicality, its friendliness and its fun — these things are not to be con veyed by means of isolated quotations. Magdalen King-Hall, who under the name Cleone Knox, wrote as a literary prank "The Diary of a Young Lady of Fashion" has a decidedly twentieth century appearance that be lies both her identity with the Cleone of the eighteenth century, and her in terest in the history of past ages. With a piquant prettiness and an appealingly youthful air, her brown hair is shingled and her blue eyes sparkle with the fun of the prank she has played on the world. She talks with the most fas cinating suggestion of a lisp. It is im possible to print her delightful misuse of the letter "r." She has spent most of her life at her home, a romantic, battlemented castle on the north coast of Ireland, where the sea comes up to the walls. It is called Quinton Cas tle, and figures in the "Diary" under its Celtic name of Castle Kearney. "The idea of the 'Diary' came to me suddenly one day, and I began to scribble it down on the backs of old envelopes." — Gladys Bowman. 22 TI4QG4ICAGOAN As Katz Views It (Continued from page IS) fail, yet the author still thinks that it was his best work. Followed then, "The Divorce Question," which pros pered here for seven months at Mc- Vicker's Theatre and was a pheno menal success in all the leading cities of the country. Next came "Every man's Castle," "Six Cylinder Love," "Kid Boots," "Twelve Miles Out" and now "If I Was Rich." Inter spersed were other plays, stories for the Famous Players and vaudeville sketches. He was born in Chicago and though his work require a New York residence, he invariably treks to the lakeside to write his plays feeling the at mosphere highly conducive to inspira tion. And yes, here's another thing about McGuire. No one has ever ap plied to him for aid in vain. No longer does he depend upon pro ducers to bring his brain children to life. He has turned both author and producer and now presents his own plays, and is highly successful in this undertaking. TWECWICAGOAN How I Became a Failure First of all I wish to acknowledge my debt to my friends. They have all helped me to b e c o m e what I am. Their lack of interest in my career has been nothing short of stu pendous. Those who inquired once about my work and laughed it off, have my gratitude. To those who have al ways refrained from noticing that I had any work, perhaps, should offer thanks. What was to have been my career ? Music. I was born with a voice. The old lady who lived next door when I was an infant loves to tell that I sang a chromatic scale when I was a week old and never stopped practising, except at mealtimes, for six months. Like all the friends I have made subsequently, she did not spoil me by too much encouragement. In all truth I can say that I have never had my head turned. It is a fact that some persons have professed a de sire to hear me sing — usually when we were in a restaurant at noon on a Sat urday, on a bus at five in the evening or in a similar retreat. I have one friend in particular who makes a point of re membering my music. "The next time I come to your house," she says, "you simply must sing for me." Then day after she has been there she telephones, "You bad girl, you forgot to sing for me yesterday." Now I have always had the ideal of art for art's sake ; but to err is human, and I have occasionally wished for some expression from my friends con cerning my career. To this end I have talked to them for countless hours about their aspirations and attainments. I have looked at bolts of batik, cases of hand wrought jewelry, sacks of di rect-by-mail copy. I have listened to hours of Scriabine, Strauss, Bloch and original jazz symphonies. And I have come to the conclusion that being a good listener may start one on the road to popularity, but it is very bad pub licity. Nobody has ever tried to Mar- iontalley me. I have never sung for money. I acknowledge that with a blush. No body has ever asked me to. Perhaps I should pay someone to listen. Yet I have always wondered why my neigh bors did not offer me a salary to stop. Even silence, which is golden, is not a negotiable security. — Ruth G. Bergman. 23 PERIODICAL POLITENESS Time was when merely an abrupt: "Continued on page 109" was all the gentle reader got for roll ing up the socks and wading through the mass of advertisements to finish a story. A little later manners entered the business, and you felt a sort of etiquette had seeped into your reading. There it was: u Please turn to page 109," and you felt the brush of literary chains. Putting things on a "Please" basis called to your manhood and chiv alry, and if you didn't have any of either, you turned to page 109 prompt ly anyway, and nobody was any the wiser — not even you. Then, almost without warning, ulti mata fell right and left, often breaking the reader's abstraction. There you were, having dozed down to the end of the page where the story was to make the long leap back to the horse blanket ads, when suddenly you blinked as you read, "Turn to page 109"! And after all those months of being coddled. Whimpering a little, you thumbed back before anybody could see how bullied you had been. There seems to have been some sort of uprising about this time ; at any rate, you read with a com fortable sense of controlling the situa tion, "You are requested to turn to page 109." And that was more like it. You didn't feel the obligation im plied by a "Please," nor was anybody issuing commands with an annoying click of punctuation marks. Often, you threw the magazine aside just to show your independence, and didn't finish the story till late that night. The ball seems to be roll ing the readers' way, too. At least two current maga zines come out supinely with "Will you please turn to page 109?", and at least one more adds " — thank you!" Obviously, we'll never get back to the old dictatorship ; the mere statement that a given story is "Continued on page 109" and will be met with thin lips as being a bit presumptuous, and cajolery itself will mean little in view of the magazines' having been forced to treat readers as not always gentle. No' we've the upper hand, now, and we'll just let things take their course until we come across something like this: "The Author and the Editor thank you sincerely for your attention thus far. It is indeed a rare compliment to our combined efforts that one of your literary discrimination has been kept from highly important affairs so long, and it is with the deepest pain that circumstances beyond our control now force us to ask you to turn to page 109 — we do most humbly beg your in dulgence. We hope, too, that your journey through the advertisements will be pleasant, and wish heartily that we might give you some little gift — some bon voyage token of our esteem, but this, of course, is impossible. We assure you that we shall feel it a supreme achievement if we secure your valued attention to the remaining part of this present bit. And, in any event, we thank you again and with the most profound gratitude." Either that, or: "This story is continued on page 109, and what's furthermore, you ig noramus, if you don't want to turn to it you can go braid your eyebrows. — Wayne G. Haisley. iitX,°*^.C YOUNG Caddy: Bless my soul, but it'd be a rare treat to have these delightful for eigners to tea and things down by the vinegar establishment. 24 : TI4E CHICAGOAN ./MART RENDEZVOUJ OF course you're beginning to look around for cool places to dance, as I am, so don't for get the Samovar. It's a sort of mor gue-like place below the street level in a dimly-lighted vault, shrouded in brown drapes, and it's actually cool. The orchestra is wonderful, really the best in town, I believe. And I've tried the floor myself so it's alright folks. But don't crowd right in after this scintillating review because absence of a crowd is their real bid for fame. Most everyone was pleasantly mellow when I was there, but they go to the Stables to get tiresomely tight, which makes the Samovar refreshing and so different. I got a great kick out of listening to Alice Jeems, their blues singer. The rest of the entertainers are so-so. But you can always make disparaging remarks to your companion, about the prevailing quality of gin and drown out the singing. Their Table D'Hote is two dollars on week-ends and is really good. Be sure to order Russian tea. They have the best rum drops in the city. Eve ning dress predominates. Couvert charge, one dollar. Speaking of Bert Kelly's Stables. It's a great place for all and sundry who want to spend the evening drinking. The floor is so crowded on Saturday nights that you can always use that as an alibi for not dancing. Monday night is the best night anyway because the theatrical celebrities go there in a bunch and you can find out whether your favorite star is as charming off stage as on. The place is decorated to resemble a stable and the management doesn't object to your carving your name on everything from the table-linen to the piano. Most of the guests go in heav ily for that. If you sit at table 32 you'll get good service but don't order a chicken sandwich. They leave the bones in. Most of the entertainment is fur nished by the negro cook and waiters, and the clink of a coin will result in the best exhibition of the Charleston that I've seen. You can also have your silhouette done by an artist who wan ders around among the tables and wears a tam-o-shanter just as they do in the movies. With the aid of electric fans, they're going to be able to keep the place cool and you'll have an aw fully good time there. Better wear informal clothes. The La Salle roof garden has just opened for the summer and is going to give the stuffy places, like the Alamo and the Moulin Rouge, hot competition. There's always a stiff breeze there even in most humid weather. It's really just an elaborate ball-room on the top floor of the hotel, with huge gashes taken out of the walls — as you probably remember. Anyway the lake breeze sweeps thru and cools your coffee nicely — if you like it that way. The entertainers do the usual sing ing in the usual cabaret voices, punc tuated with the usual gestures. They serve an excellent table d'hote from six to nine. The dinner is $2.50 and a special couvert of 50 cents accompanies it. Perhaps they're trying to discour age dinner parties. But the only effi cient way to do that is to feature shish- kabob. I speak with authority. I had seme once. TWE CHICAGOAN 25 JPORT/ REVI EW Our city popped into the first rank with the foremost boxing centers in the country July 3 when Sammy Mandell and Rocky Kan sas propelled wallops at each other at the White Sox ball park. This event ushered in the, game of scrambling ears to Chicago and a fine fight mad turnout watched the boys serve the clouts in the opener. If the success of that first show is any basis for judging, Chicago is going to stand right out as the best fight town in the country. More fights of this caliber have been listed but announcements of the pair ings have yet to be made. Jim Mullin has a few of the finest in the profes sion signed and since he has the two major league ball parks under his skimmer the chances are that Jeems will be operating the next few fights. Lots of activity around the town among the proletariat. Youngsters who had a veiw, a highly remunera tive career as teamster, copper, con ductor or shipping clerk are now blast ing away at each other in neighborhood gyms. They believe that plenty of buckos can be made in the game so they are doing their darnedest to im bibe the tricks of the trade. There are more embryo fight mamagers in the town than Lincoln Park has canoes. YACHTING The local sailors are "ahoying" their way into their worst season, from a weather standpoint, in years. The game itself is attracting more interest than ever before but the elements have been a trifle unkind. The star events of the month are carded for July 25 when the annual cruise to Mackinac and the race to Sturgeon Bay are indulged in by the noblest craft on the Lakes. The Stur geon Bay affair is something new and this season will mark its inception. The yachts will be divided into two classes for the day. GOLF The golfing folks hereabouts are still blatting about the admirable manner in which Sweetzer, Jones and the Walker Cup team en masse walloped the lime out of their British cousin, nephews, or what have you. Meanwhile local golf ers, those who play for the sport and those who swing for the tournament prizes are progressing in their various endeavors. A visit to any course, pri vate, public or semi-public finds the links dotted with future Sweetzers and Collets. TENNIS Not much transpiring along the ten nis rialto to date but this month and next will see the best in the country doing their "love acts" at the local championship courses and also on the north shore. The cracks of the coun try will be here to battle it out for the leading honors in the net game. baseball Old Alex is gone. That's one rea son why ball fans are hanging out the tear bag. Poor old Alex! He was a bad boy for Joe McCarthy and the fast snapping Irishman promptly exited him to St. Louis. This came on top of a public tribute to "Big Pete," plus a $5,000 auto. While the fans are piqued at Alex they feel sorry for him just the same. The Cubs continue to wobble but the Sox are clipping along merrily. They're now down on the eastern seaboard and south side fans hope that they will elevate their daub ers and pace right along with those New York Yanks. The Cubs are en joying a stretch at home and show indication of snapping back to life. — Jimmy Corcoran. "Come on, git a bed and lay down, will yal' 26 SUBURB A The ever popular Saturday dinner dance at Exmoor Country Club has again come to dominate the social calendar of the week-end festiv ities in Highland Park. Many gay parties throng the terraces, and quite one of the gayest last week was that of Mr. and Mrs. Blaine Smith, which included one of this suburb's most popular couples. Wherever they go, an interesting evening is definitely as sured — one of those rare examples where good looks and brains go hand in hand. The Ravinia center of the Infants' Welfare Association met last week at the home of the chairman — Mrs. John Glace, and discussed plans for its future growth. This is a new branch of the organization, having received its first impulse in February, and al ready the enthusiasm of its members is making itself felt in neighboring communities. Mrs. Julius Lackner, chairman of the Kenwood center was present, and outlined several proposi tions which might stimulate interest in the work under way. Opening night at Ravinia Opera may have been the one chosen by the greater number to fulfill the brilliant promise of an artistic and social event, but it is a question whether Tuesday evening, combining, as it did, Edward Johnson's debut and an anniversary performance, with Johnson singing Romeo to Bori's Juliet, did not equal, if not surpass, the success of Saturday's bill. At a recent meeting of the North Shore Garden Club, held at the home of Mrs. Harry Selz, Glencoe, Mrs. Louise Hubbard, who, through her artistry has turned many a garden of the truck variety into one more Shakes- perean, spoke on the "Annuals in the Perrennial Border." Lake Forest is a magnet which seems to attract royalty. They all go, like pilgrims to a shrine — first the Prince of Wales and now Crown Prince Gus- taf of Sweden. Of course, Evanston with Vice-President Dawes as host has prior claim, but who wouldn't sidestep a diplomatic imbroglio for an informal supper dance at the Charles Schweppes'. That quaint old scow which hiber nates at the bottom of the drainage N DOINGS canal and known as the Buccaneer's Club, has emerged from its watery grave and is preparing for what prom ises to be an equally wet summer. With pennants flying and decks awash, it will probably stage many a party which will make the Fish Fans flounder. Mrs. C. C. Buell of Highland Park recently entertained her hosts of friends at an elaborate luncheon at Exmoor. The afternoon was spent playing the world's greatest indoor sport — bridge — as some rag has so completely de fined it — a scientific way of doing noth ing on a competitive basis. — Park Row. (Continued from page 21) know how to direct her small staff of servants since she knows the duties of each one perfectly, and can make as good a pie as any cook she will employ. The only fashionable wedding sched uled for August, will be rather a quiet one, but not lacking in interest for all of that. Charles Swift, so long a bach elor (he was divorced some fifteen years ago after a brief and unhappy married life) will be married to the talented Claire Dux at the University of Chi cago chapel. He is so essentially a part of the University's life — both he and his brother Harold, have devoted years of their young manhood to their alma mater's development — that all the powers that be will likely insist on being present at the service and the reception that will follow at the Fran cis Nielson's home on Drexel Boule vard. It's been a long time since any large party of that sort has taken place in that palatial old house — the former Edward Morris home. Both the daugh ters of the household, Ruth and Helen Morris, Mrs. Nielson's daughters — were married abroad and the Nielsons travel so much that it has come to be only a stopping off place between world travels. After the marriage the Swifts will go to their Cape Cod home, and in the early fall they will live on the North Side. — le Comtesse. TI4EO4ICAG0AN ARE YOU A CHICAGOAN? 1. What well known Chicago Grill has the ceiling hung with long- stemmed pipes belong to famous men? 2. What Chicago theatre is under ground ? 3. What's the idea of the beehive on top the Strauss building? 4. What famous movie queen orig inated in Chicago? 5. What's the oldest building standing in Chicago today, and where is it? 6. Where is "Bug-house Square," and what is it? 7. What names did the aldermen of 1913 almost pin onto the Boul Mich? 8. What is DeKoven Street fam ous for? 9. Chicago has the biggest golf course in the world. Which is it? 10. What book concern in the city was founded in 1789? Answers : 1. St. Hubert's Grill. 2. The Goodman Theatre. 3. How should we know. 4. Gloria Swanson. 5. An I. C. Elevator "A", 600 feet east of the Link Bridge. Built in 1852 or 53. 6. In front of the Newberry Li brary where the soap-box orators orate daily and nightly. 7. Ozark Avenue or Ivy Street. Can you imagine tripping down Ivy Street ? 8. That's where Mrs. O'Leary lived with her playful cow. 9. Olympia Fields, with four eigh teen hole courses. 10. The Methodist. — I. Willian. TWE CHICAGOAN 27 (Continued from page 16) and she knew that he knew she knew, but — never once did she break down! nor give him the slightest hint that she was burning up inside, though daily she works beside him in the Burg lary & Plate Glass Dept. of the Secur ity Life Insurance Company of Amer ica! Result: TO THIS DAY HE RESPECTS HER! —And I said, spect' is all you get out of it, is it worth it?" Deep thought for a moment, then, "Yes— and no!" Is this maddening, or is it merely pathetic? It would be if you could see her: She sits opposite me, her chin on her hand, weighing my every word in profound meditation. Some where she has got the idea that I'm "intellectual," and acts accordingly. Every word she utters is most carefully chosen, and she tries to be as ponderous as possible. Her conversation is full of such trade-mark phrases as "to be absolutely frank," "as it were," "so to speak," "all things considered," "fig uratively and literally," "strictly speaking," — and all these she utters with closed eyes and jaw thrust for ward ; then, when she has finished her sentence (which is interpolated with Smart Tailored Clothes for The Chicagoan BUSINESS DINNER SPORT EVENING Correctness in every detail has long characterized the tailoring artistry of TAILORS 337 West Madison Street many pregnant and deep pauses) she suddenly opens her eyes and pops them at you, thinking, of course, that she has completely mystified and baffled you with her answer. In spite of her protests of morals and "high standards," Lucy Ellen has fallen to a low degree in my estima tion. When she was in to see me last night I happened to mention that I was going to spend the week-end at my beloved Dunes, whereupon she half -closed her eyes, fixed a Circe stare upon me, and murmured, "Hm!" Rather surprised, I innocently in quired, "Why, don't you think that'll be nice?" to which she answered, after a pause, "Yes and no." Well, what could I do but inquire what she meant, but she wouldn't com mit herself — only sat smiling to herself like a wise Cleopatra who wouldn't believe that Anthony had been detained at the office until eight-thirty. Finally this made me angry, so I said, "Lucy, I think you have a very dirty mind!" which charge, of course, brought a response : "Well, in one sense, it's alright, yes; but in another sense, no!" "My dear girl, will you kindly re lieve your mind of what ever ails it!" Then she explained that she had heard of some things that happened at the Dunes that were prit-tee raw, and she, for one, wouldn't care to have her name included with some people's who go to the Dunes! Now anybody who could see any thing immoral in the Dunes would feel unclean watching a baby take a bath. If he has got to be dragged into it, the Dunes is as fine a specimen of God's Country as the West never pro duced, in all its ecstacy of great-open- spaces ; and if that's the idea Lucy Ellen has of the Dunes, how could she possibly get anything out of the beauty of the place, the march of the sands across the shore to the bluffs, the great wind-beaten pines that line the cliffs, the open freshness of the sea, and the far clean sweep of the beach? I was thoroughly and completely dis gusted ; it was all I could do to control myself from kicking Lucy Ellen right out, but I finally managed to say, "Nevertheless, your answer doesn't dis pute the fact that you have a very dirty mind!" The jaw slipped out of place, the eyelids rolled down, and she mur mured, "Yes and no!" — C. R. Jackson. INCORPORATED Advertising Typographers EEALIZING that typographically JThe Chicagoan must be on a par with the best magazines in the country, the publishers, after care ful investigation, logically selected Embassy. Here they receive the same excellent quality and service that has built for Embassy a large and well-satisfied clientele. An ideal plant with complete equipment for discriminating advertisers Skilled in the arrangement of type, our expert craftsmen are able and anxious to surprise you pleasantly by their ability to put on paper in a fashion pleasing to the eye, the mes sage you have carefully prepared. Thesemen are supplied with mod ern equipment, a comfortable place to work, and an elaborate assortment of beautiful type faces. Our telephone numbers are Superior 9441, 9442. Call either number, feeling sure that be your request large or small, simple or difficult, it will hav e the immediate attention of a capable individual in direct contact with your office. The Embassy Press 106 East Austin Ave. Opposite Wrigley Building and Tribune Tower 28 TWE CHICAGOAN DISTINCTIVE PORTRAITS Photographer of Character Sittings Made at the Home or at Studio in !10 FINE ARTS BLDG., CHICAGO and Temple Court Indian Hill, 111. <The BOULEVARD I ER All thoughts in July lead to the -cool summer cottages, or the trip away from the city to most any place so long as it is away from the city. And for those of us who must stay here — well the tall, iced glass, the coolest sport frock or the most comfortable togs available are the only consolation. But before drowning the sadness we want to mention some of the amusing things to be found in the shops for those who are leaving, or for those sharing our desolation. First of all, there are smart leather slippers de nuit for the traveller who has so little space to spare in her lug gage. They come in the gayest of colors and are of such soft leather that they fold into nothingness for packing. Hartman on Michigan has a splendid variety. For the reader who takes his quota of books with him on his vacation there are snappy protecting covers that come in oilcloth in stripped effects or black with odd design. The approaching shower means nothing to the reader caught napping away from shelter. Fields have several with a reading glass attached. Peacock's have a truly regal iced drink set. Crystal white, lined with vertical stripes in the glass itself, the slenderness of the glasses is increased. But the pitcher is capacious, thank you. Miniature bananas of candy that follow their copy in very real exactness can be found at the Stop and Shop. Those together with the make-believe apricots at Mrs. Snyder's would fill very cleverly the corners and crannies of the picnic basket. The apricot can dies are made of two wee gum drops pressed together on a stem with one leaf of green. While we're on the subject, the pre serves sold by the Amber Pie must be brought to the attention of those who know good things to eat. Sunlight preserves was the old fashioned name for them. The sort that stand in the sun to jell and come out with some of the light seemingly caught within the glass. And anyone who has eaten at the Amber Pie knows that it must be good. To the summer hostess, the graceful parting gift would indeed be one of the new Moroccan pottery jars or vases. Green as the oriental dream of cool shadows and green trees, with all the beauty of a moorish arch, these jars come direct from Morocco to Tat- man's Crystal shop. They are ideal for the summer home. Very precious and delicate is the ex quisite tea set that may also be found at Tatman's. Imagine to yourself the low swung shape of the old Spode china of the 1800's; the color, powder red which is rose-in-a-mist ; the design, a proud Chelsea Bird, poised in all its beauty in the white center of the plates. Then you have some idea of its loveliness. Transluscent green, capped with sil ver, and marked with the ship in full sail, that's the friendly cocktail shaker offered by Hipp and Coburn for sum mer delectation. Surrounded by the requisite number of slender glasses of clear green, each with its strutting cock, and what mingled gathering wouldn't mix when the glasses were raised — to admire the beauty of the glass. Anyone who has ever complained about the monotony of men's apparel, the lack of color and imagination, need do so no longer. After viewing the striped suspenders in every variation of the gay roman stripe, which Field's Men's store is showing, nothing more can be said on that score. They have belts like it too. And the ties, ah, the ties. Faint lavender, ashes-of-roses, spring green, the young man's fancy can be as expiring as he wishes. TWECI4ICAG0AN 29 « ,<' x//777rT\\\ V^>>v as | ^mart 5 « Sport Glothes \ >> Importations and Copies of x ^ French Models ^ p Dinner and Dance Frocks G\ £ Hats — Exquisite French Lingerie % Ifr Washable Suede Gloves ^ jgj Wonderful Imported Pearls ^ P Gifts ^ Q The Sports Shop ^ C of jQake ffirest ^ X TWO SHOPS ? f Chicago Shop Lake Forest Shof ^ Op 633 N. Michigan Ave. 9 Market Square X L Superior 3058 Lake Forest 862 g~. CW-ICAGOAN (^ offers advertisers the only £ opportunity that has thus p far appeared for reaching /2 quality Chicago. # THE CHICAGOAN will (5 tell what deciding people (^ are doing and saying. It j| will pursue diligently the ^ dictates of good taste. L Thru its columns can be £ reached astute moulders of f Chicago's buying opinions. £ No surer criterion of the % Chicagoans worth could v5 possiblyexistthanthejudg- t ment of the advertisers £ appearing in this issue. \S FOR ADVERTISING RATES, ADDRESS H. B. ODELL Advertising Manager Peck and Peck, sport costumers, are showing nicely matched ties and hand kerchiefs for the sport costume that is complete. These foulards with their brisk patterns and crisp folds make the occasion successful. Shantung silk is appearing at Mc- Avoy's for sport dresses. In the soft colors that can only be achieved in Shantung, these dresses bear clever borders and pockets of bright embroid ery. Shantung is ideal for the season since it is the coolest material for the purpose. I. Miller has a predilection for slip pers of plain leather bound in harmon izing colors. Tan with fawn edge, black with gray, these slippers achieve a summer daintiness. The more ela borate yield to a design on the tip of the toe. They are such a relief from the incessant movement of design in the lizard and mottled effects. Help for the tired business man or the very busy golfer is found at Spauld- ings. A new wrist watch that does away with the buckle fastening, and has in its stead an amusing contrivance that snaps into place. One unsnaps the catch, folds open the hinge, and presto — the circlet of leather is increased by a good four inches. One notices at the better places lit tle figurines of delicate clouded glass. A closer examination discloses the mark of LaLique. R. LaLique, that Pari sian designer of jewelry who turned glassmaker. A little lady rising from the crest of a wave, trailing draperies over extended arms, that is one expres sion of his work in glass. Or perhaps a vase embossed with love birds, so that the design and the vase blend to gether so closely that they are indeed one. Mentioning jewels brings a flash of the bits of heavenly blue that have been caught in the jewelry at Halls, the stationer. Grotto Blue they call it, and it comes in brooches, bracelets, and necklaces, in silver mountings. — >Marjorie Capron. e e J ^ :> CHICAGO Janus Method of Reducing and Rejuvenating Inc. Rdytfi X^iedrich Rejuvenation of face and body Scientific and Permanent Loop Office: 1 5 East Washington Street Dearborn 2005 Uptown Office 4.8 1 1 Sheridan Road Sunnyside 0934 rp ;a(L^^J) (L^W^SK 30 TI4ECI4ICAGOAN £>njoy Jmer-Jheatreuour if Julia King's °7m Koom 118 N. Dearborn. St (Continued from page 19) age to tell them that they offend? No one I fear, but the advertisements which have lately undertaken to en lighten them on this point. We are all in the same boat or will land there eventually for they insist that if we are not already victims of halitosis, we soon will be. We should all realize that our day of reckoning has come, that we must act now if we wish to be saved from our sorry fate. We can be spared by a bottle of the magic life saver men tioned in glowing terms, in almost every magazine. And if we have any objection to a liquid cure there are al ways tablets, several kinds in fact. One (Continued on page 32) <4f**- Chelsea Hotel Fredrik A. Chramer Nine Twenty Wilson Ave. A A Minute's Walk to the Lake A Rates Reasonable Hospitality Assured A Phone ARDMORE 1 3000 $ '**: =xi# 41 to TI4ECI4ICAGOAN 31 (Continued from page 24) There is one draw-back of course. There would be. They light the place up too brightly and they don't wash the chandeliers. Otherwise it is still high in the graces of your correspon dent. All of the back-to-nature hounds will enjoy the roof garden at the Park way hotel. It is entirely open — the ads say it's the only one in the city, but I think there is one on the roof of my own hotel. At least there was when I was up there two days ago — so don't go to the Parkway when it threatens to rain. They keep the floor in excellent con dition and it's not too crowded at pres ent. And of course, there are all sorts of amusements at an outdoor place, be side the regular entertainers. I was there at the grand opening and spent a fascinated evening watching a spider crawl around on a lady's back. The show is a Walter Fort production so you can use your own judgment. I wasn't awe-struck by Jack Lundin's orchestra but they'll do. Their chef is Swiss, with a sense of humor, so you may as well begin looking forward to their table d'hote. It's an ideal place to go when you want a breath of God's clean air, as they say in the movies. And there's an other thing to say for the air — it keeps one from getting other than genteely drunk, which is a real boon. Business clothes seem to predomin ate during the week. Only those in formal clothes are admitted on Satur day night. Their couvert is one dollar. So long — see you in a couple of weeks — and in the meantime I'll brouse around and try to track down at least one place you never heard of. — Vivian Browne Boron. V-/ur subscription manager was duly warned when sworn into office to sacredly uphold and defend to the death the policy (not life, fire or accident) of this semi-monthly jewel of sophistication; the said policy being that it shall cater exclusively to smart Chicagoans and religiously eschew the hoi polloi. The eligibility of a subscriber depends greatly on whether he or she is a chronic user of the following bromides: "You're a sight for sore eyes!" "There's never a policeman around when you want one!" "Don't worry — that wont help matters any!" "It's such a small world after all!" "You'll talk differently after you're married!" "It's bad enough to see a man drunk but oh! a woman!" "It's not the heat — it's the humidity!" "So's your old man!" "It isn't the money — it's the principle of the thing!" "If you'd only called yesterday — the room was in perfect order!" And so on, ad infinitum. A negative answer is all that is necessary to be admitted to our subscription list, plus of course, the $3.00 per year. CHICAGOAN For Your Convenience THE CHICAGOAN, 154 E. Erie St., Chicago, 111. Please enter my subscription to THE CHICAGOAN. ? 13 Issues— $1.50 ? 26 Issues— $3.00 ? 52 Issues— $5.00 Name Address 32 For one low cost summer fare see PACIFIC NORTHWEST ADVENTURE LAND SEE all the Pacific Northwest. One low cost Round Trip Summer Fare will reveal this fascinating sum mer playground — Spokane, Seattle, Tacoma and Port land with free side trip to Vancouver in British Colum bia — Rainier National Park, Columbia River Highway, Lake Chelan, Mount Baker National Forest and the Seaside Resorts of Washington and Oregon. Going or returning over the historic, low-altitude, river- course, scenic route of the dependable Great Northern Railway, plan to stop awhile in lake-jeweled Glacier National Park — right on the main line of the Great Northern. Special round trip summer fares include stop-off at Glacier National Park Open June IS to Sept. IS It is none too early to plan your Northwest trip now. Travel on the de luxe New Oriental Limited, finest of Northwest trains. Mail coupon now. Or write specially for information not covered by coupon. NEW ORIENTAL LIMITED de luxe train — no extra fare ^ | A. J. Dickinson, Room 712, Great Northern Railway, St. Paul, Minn. CH-6-1 I ft»J~^ j^, | ? I am interested in a trip to Pacific Northwest Adventure Land including stop-off in | ^ffJ^^L \ 1 Glacier National Park. i ^^fc'/^^^ \ ¦ ? I am interested in a General Tour of Glacier National Park. I ^K'i v ^| I I ? I am interested in a (Glacier-Yellowstone) Burlington Escorted Tour. I \^UK*k^M^I m ? I am interested in an Alaskan Tour. ^Srv^7 \n«™ I a dependable I AUresi i railway I ^ , _ ^_ _ _ _ „. _ mmm mm wmm ^ ^m m^ mm, __ m^ m^m _ _ mtm __ J THE CHICAGOAN (Continued from page 30) of these carries the very spirit of spring and eternal youth and will save us from the crushing embarrassment that will sooner or later be ours. "Your breath will breathe the fragrance of Maytime," should bring new hope to every heart. We are urged "never to go to a dance without first taking the simple precaution," and again, we hear those bitter words, "No one is im mune." Halitosis, that demon of the present age, has the world by its throat and has poisoned its breath. If we read the magazines we will vote for the antidote and will never again leave the house without a bottle or a box or a mouthful of it with us. But when all is said and done it is hard to tell which is the more preferable, the anti dote with its own peculiar aroma or halitosis itself — particularly if we dis cover that we never had the demon in the first place. This is something which only a genuine expert can decide. — Kitty Parsons. LET US PAY Your Vacation Expenses For Particulars Write MR. GASSER VACATION BUREAU Room 200 OneFiftyFourErieStreet QhicagO On Every Ship" the Hartmann Wardrobe EVERY passenger ship that sails carries Hartmann Wardrobe Trunks — the owners know their pos sessions are going to be safe and sound, clean and usable when they arrive. The distinctive appearance of the Hartmann is per manent. And as for convenience — more and more people every day use their Hartmann Wardrobes in preference to hotel closets. Nothing could be more convenient. What trunk users have found from experience is a tremendous factor in influencing Hartmann sales. HARTMANN TRUNK COMPANY, Racine, Wis. M. Langmuir Manufacturing Company, Ltd., Toronto Licensed Canadian Manufacturers J. B. Brooks & Co., Ltd., Great Charles St., Birmingham, Eng. Licensed Distributors for Great Britain CUSHION TOP WARDROBE TRUNKS ©1920. by Hartmann Trunk Co. LOOK FOR THE HARTMANN RED x ON THE TRUNK YOU BUY EXTRA DRY CHAMPAGNE GINGER ALE V, REG. U.S. PAT. OFF. ••• (^•^HE making of a really fine Ginger Ale is today as much v^ an art as was the proper blending of ingredients in those famous beverages of old. H add on hall was created to serve a market that demands and appreciates the finer qualities in a Ginger Ale, Its crystal purity; its rich, ginger-root flavor; its perfectly balanced blend, have made of this superlative Ginger Ale a beverage apart from any you have ever known. We ask that you taste haddon hall in company with any other Ginger Ale. The difference is quickly apparent — you, too, will say HADDON hall has no equaL s A ¦ ¦•-¦ - . ¦ •