*S^ t - "*¦*** y\ '?; ¦ SPONSORED BY HARGRAFT FROM England come Ben Wade pipes . . . different from all others. From the first day on they are sweet, mellow, "broken- in." Breaking-in an ordinary pipe means smoking out the varnish, the stain, the metallic coating inside the bowl. The Ben Wade inside bowl is unstained . . . the briar itself is pumiced and polished by the Ben Wade patented process. The pores of the wood are opened and kept open for per fect absorption! Precious moments of per fect pipe smoking are slipping by . . . don't wait longer. Ask your best tobacconist for Ben Wade pipes. If he can't respond to your demand write for the catalog of all shapes in actual sizes. This sign identifies all Har graft dealers The Chicagoan — Martin J. Quigley, Publisher; published fortnightly by Oakdale Publishing Co., 407 South Dearborn St., Chicago, 111. New York Office- 565 Fifth Ave. Los Angeles Office: 5617 Hollywood Blvd. Subscription $3.00 annually, single copies 15c. Vol. Ill, No. 6 — June 4, 1927. Entered as second-class matter at the Post Office at Chicago, 111., under the Act of March 3, 1879. TWECmCAGOAN 1 320 MICHIGAN AVENUE • NORTH Just South of the Bridge jSports Weaf1 A beautilul collection ol Angoras and V^asnmeres <— also tlie new raiglisn 1 weeds in two or three piece models, lnese are tne smartest new tnmgs in sports wear lor all occasions rnwMk^ TI4ECI4ICAGOAN &$=t?=$- -f^3^t SPRING CALLS FOR THE ULTRA SMART Discriminating women find all the artistry of-' distinctive mode in each garment now on display at Mc AVOY 615 NORTH MICHIGAN AVENUE TELEPHONE SUPERIOR 87 20 GOWNS -WRAPS -SUITS - MILLINERY- ACCESSORIES- PfcQa*- -fc€S=$<! TMECMICAGOAN 3 Current Entertainment OCCASIONS JUDICIAL ELECTIOH— Cook County — June 6. PRESIDENTIAL DEDICA TION— R a m m o n d, Ind.— June 14. Electric lines and buses to scene. Motor roads bad. Consult daily papers for details of Chicago stop-over, if any. FLAG DAT— June 14. Don't forget to hoist the bunting. THE STAGE Words and Music GAT PAREE— Garrick, 64 W. Randolph St., Central 8240. Good, clean fun, as in any other Shubert revue. This is one of their best, with Sophie Tucker and Chic Sale backed by sev eral dosen negligee naiads. TWIHKLE TWINKLE — Er- langer, 127 N. Clark St., State 2162. Joe Moore and Ona Munson in what serves as an indoors evening. Closes June 11. THE MADCAP— Olympic, 74 W. Madison, Central 8240. The one-and-only Mitzi in tuneful antics that are worth seeing again. Just Words THAT FREHCH LADY— Playhouse, 410 S. Michigan, Wabash 0037. Louis Mann and Clara Lipman (who in public life is Mrs. Mann) cut ting up didoes in different dia lects, which the clients like. THE WILD WESTCOTTS^- Cort, 132 N. Dearborn, Cen tral 0019. Lively and amus ing goings on in small town family circles, a long list of mentionable players enacting Anne Morrison's idea. TEHTH AVEHUE — Adelphi, 11 N. Clark, Randolph 4466. Love and murder among some shady citizens of New Yoik, played by Edna Hibbard, Wil liam Boyd and Louis Calhern as it should be played. THE HOOSE— Selwyn, 180 N. Dearborn, Central 3404. An other good melodrama (You know the kind.) by Willard Mack and H. H. Van Loan. 8:30. THE BARKER— Blackstone, 60 E. 7th, Harrison 6609. Rich ard Bennett in a loud and lusty drammer concerning the slight ly soiled denizjens of a street carnival. DIFFERENT WOMEN— Woods, 54 W. Randolph, State 8567. Frank Keenan and others in a new Eugene Walter composition that may be gone before press time unless Keen- ans local popularity sets it for a run. For Tickets* F. COUTHOUI, INC., 54 W. Randolph, principal hotels and clubs. State 7171. H. N. WATERFALL, Palmer House, Auditorium, Bismarck. Randolph 3486. J. HORWITZ, 141 N. Clark. Dearborn 3800. UHITED, 89 W. Randolph. Randolph 0262. TTSON, 72 W. Randolph. Ran dolph 0021. *A (legal) service charge of $.50 per ticket may be made by agencies. THE CINEMA Downtown THE ROUGH RIDERS— Audi torium, Congress at Wabash. Intensely interesting reproduc tion of Roosevelt's part in the war with Spain, in terms of fic tion. (Reviewed in this issue.) Twice daily (2:30 and 8:30) until June 13. THE HIGHT OF LOVE— Mc Vickers, Madison off State, un til June 1 3 . Medieval romance with bloodshed and quaint old customs legislated past the cen sor board, but excellent. Con tinuous. Standard admission. BEAU GESTE— McVickers af ter June 13. Ronald Colman and others in Foreign Legion tradition, for which they get $2 in New York. Standard ad mission. 4 TUE04ICAG0AN CHAJsiG — Roosevelt, State off Randolph. Instructive enter tainment recording little known Siamese and their difficulties. Standard admission. CAPTAIH SALVATION— Chicago, State at Lake, June 6 to 13, then — HAUGHTY AND NICE— Un til June 20. Both pictures to be shown with musical trim mings and discussed anon. Standard admission. Nearer Home UPTOWN— June 6-13— "Slide, Kelly, Slide," best of the base ball comedy dramas and the making of William Haines. With acts. GRANADA— June 6-13— "The Beloved Rogue," John Barry- more in an improvement upon Francis Villon and The Stu dent Prince. With acts. SHERIDAH — June 6-13— "Mother," a serious and not too tearful vehicle for the im pressive Belle Bennett. With acts. TIVOLI— June 6-13— "The Ten der Hour," Billie Dove and Ben Lyon in Paris and emo tional difficulties. With acts. CAPITOL— June 6-13— "The Cradle Snatchers," with Louise F a z e n d a snatcher-in-chief . With acts. PICCADILLY — J u n e 6-13— "Tip-Toes" and something or other in a musical way. HARDING— June 6-13— "Mr. Wu," with the admirable Chaney at his admiral best in a picture made from the play made from the book. SPORTS HORSE SHOW— June 14-18. South Shore Country Club, South Shore Drive at the Lake. (Discussed in this issue.) AMERICAN DERBY— Wash ington Park, June 18. GO L F — Qualifying round for National Open Championship (Western District) at Park Ridge Club, June 6. National Open Championship, Oakmont, Pa., Club, June 14-16. Illinois Seniors .Tournament, Rockford, 111., June 8-9. TEJ^NJS — Sherwood Cup Tour ney at Chicago Town and Country Club, June 6. TRACK AND FIELD— Na tional Collegiate A. A. Meet, Soldiers Field, June 10-11. BASEBALL— Chicago Nationals at Cubs Park (Addison and Clark) playing Boston (June 4-5-6) Brooklyn (June 7-8-9- 10) New York (June 11-12-13- 14) Philadelphia (June 15-16- 17-18). GREYHOUHD RACES— Nightly at Hawthorne, Thorn ton, Elgin and Lyons. Better drive. COURTS CRIMINAL COUR T— Dear born and Austin — State vs. Al bert Anselmi and John Scalic. Chge. Murder of Police Offi cer Harold Olson. Second trial — Genna, alki background — now showing. ART CHESTER JOHliSOli GAL LERIES— 410 S. Michigan- Paul Gaugin exhibit. RADIO (Reallocation of broadcasting privileges prevents definite fore- listing of programs by stations. Sermons will continue as Sun day features.) STROLLS MORNINO— Randolph Street I. C. station to Field Museum, leisurely. AFTERNOON— Garfield Park Conservatory, idly. EVENING— W i 1 s o n Avenue, carefully. LATER — Randolph Street, with the night watch. TABLES THE SAMOVAR— 624 S. Michigan — good food, dancing and a show, in good company. CIROS— 18 W. Walton— com petent menu and nice people. CHEZ PIERRE— 247 E. Ontario — excellent to show the out-of- town guest, and otherwise. RAIK[BOW GARDEHS— Clark at Lawrence — a showy show, dancing, and food if you insist. BERT KELLY'S STABLES— 431 Rush — scenery, sound and a place to say you've been. COLOSIMO'S— 2126 S. Wab ash — Italian and traditional, and not at all exciting. PLANTATION— 35th at South Parkway — the place to go if the party wants to "see one of those places" and you want to give the party a break. HEHRICTS—ll W. Randolph — the place that used to adver tise "no orchestral din." READING Page Lindbergh 5 African Chicago 6 Yellow Refunds 7 Domestic Cinemas 8 "Pour Le Sport" 9 Chicagoans 1 1 Overtones 1 2 McAndrew 1 3 June . 14 Psychology 1 5 Sports ig Stage , ,.19 Cinema 20 Windowshows 21 Music 22 Books 23 Charivari 24 rraise WE feel always surging within us a thrust of righteous com pensation whenever we find the plain voter breaking through the smoke of mediocrity to become the toast of the universe. And, always on our toes to give to each what is meet, we scraped and scoured the city in search of obscure informa tion regarding Captain Lindbergh. Our researches landed us at the University of Wisconsin where Mr. Lindbergh was a student. And there we were confronted with the be wildering but rather soothing infor mation that at that institution the young man was alarmingly unknown. We inquired of students, instruc tors, tradespeople, professors (an idle gesture), and, as a final thrust, landladies, who are supposed to, and usually do, know everything about everybody in college towns. That we were confused to learn that nobody knew him is, at best, a mild statement; that so dashing a young man as Mr. Lindbergh should content himself with riding a motor cycle up and down the hills of Madi son is another story; but that out of such profound obscurity should blos som a young buck who has caused a furore second only to the signing of the Armistice is a factor that pro voked a lip-stretching smile all the way across our brisk faces to reflect the pride that is bounding within our democratic carcasses. Clay Feet THERE is a loop restaurant which affords neither flesh, fish nor fowl. Run on a health code, the first article of which enjoins meat- lessness, it soothes its patrons with vegetables and cereals, nut roasts, imitation turkey and synthetic ham burger steak that resembles beef in everything except origin. What is more, the patrons like the fooling and come back day after day. The restaurant has recently moved into new quarters of which the man agement is very proud. We were being shown through the new kitchen when we detected something wrong in the picture presented by the stove and a large pot thereon. It looked like, it smelled like, it was — meat. The manager admitted the accusa tion that was in our pained look. "It's for the help," he explained. "We can't keep them without it." Taxes THE present season, in addition to the woes of our midland cli mate, is the season for tax assess ments. Public officials are called on to list personal and o,ther properties for the legal unpleasantness of fixing contributions. From one of these assessors, a merry enough fellow when not engaged in his onerous calling, comes a story: This publican was making his daily round, hearing the age-old com plaints, and giving the older explana tions. Opinion, as reflected by his victims, was not flattering in its esti mate of the competence of his kind. There were numerous and vocifer ous thorns in his particular garden of taxable roses. Only one citizen welcomed him. That citizen was an aged crossing flagman. When the tax gatherer presented his legal document this flagman smiled cheerfully. "Mister," said the old gentleman, "I ain't got a piano, nor a sewing machine, nor a gold watch, nor a radio, nor an automobile, nor a stick of furniture under thirty years old. I rent this house. I don't keep a dog, nor a canary. But come right in and welcome. Doggone it if I don't like to talk to tax assessors!" Emancipation THE Woman's World Fair hit one final resounding crescendo on its keyboard and then, with feminine precision, locked up the piano. That piano is now being re- tuned for next year. Surely women are precise. Until we finally went out to the Coliseum last week, we honestly were unprepared to picture just what a Woman's World Fair might be. Our anticipations, we might add, were slightly off the concrete, and edging gracelessly toward loose gravel; for, in our own gentle and unassuming manner, we had imagined that this enterprise was a 6 TI4ECWICAG0AN very festive and rollicking affair. And right now we are about to make an admission: we were wrong; all wrong. It was serious, sedate, and almost grave. All of which, how ever, does not preclude its being entertaining to both men and women. To one it was a swell gesture of women's independence in which advertising plays a somewhat too im portant part; to the other an ac complishment to be equalled by noth ing less phenomenal than a non-stop air flight around the world. THE Woman's World Fair was a big undertaking, and much credit is to be given to its directors, namely, Miss Helen Bennett, Mrs. Medill McCormick, Mrs. Joseph T. B o w e n, Mrs. Rockefeller Mc Cormick, Mrs. Joseph G. Coleman, Mrs. Howard Linn, Mrs. George R. Dean, and Mrs. T. W. Robinson. The activities of the enterprise were divided into eleven committees managed by such competent and charming women as Mrs. John Alden Carpenter, Mrs. Robert McCall, Mrs. Pauline Palmer, Miss Nellie Walker, Miss Cyrena Van Gordon, Miss Bertha lies, Mrs. Jacob Baur, Mrs. John J. Garrity, Mrs. H. Shailer Don, Mrs. Thomas Wood Stevens, and Mrs. Maud Cain Taylor. It is interesting to recall that there were 112 occupations represented; but we were, nevertheless, both disappointed and delighted to know that womankind's friend, Miss Elinor Glynn, was not included among the writers. The proceeds, after allowances have been made for a sinking fund for next year, are dedicated to the Immigrants' Protective League and the Chicago Public School Art Society, though why, we are at a complete and overwhelming loss to say. Color \ A /E have always found in our " * ever-forgiving hearts a deep respect for the untrammeled gaiety and the downright unblushing play- when-you-get-a-chance attitude of the negro. That he has not progressed socially is perhaps a positive but equally understandable claim. That, as some of our sociologists insist, he has not developed adequately along the lines of commerce, except in the matter of cabarets, is, we assume, conjectural. And that he has shown little interest in the several arts is a foolproof assertion if we might use for an example the Anglo-Saxon poetry of one Countee Cullen whose experi ments with verse writing displays no more convincing an expression of the Negro race than Miss Millay's lyrics done over for the declamations of Topsy Duncan. But That the colored man has learned a few vital things in this serious matter of keeping one's self happy is a boundless and unappreciated leap which is not to be passed by without some reflections and a lot of envy. IT remained for last week to reveal to us the information that the negro's means of entertaining him self, like those of his paler brothers, is becoming each day more complex. It used to be our serious belief that the height of Liberian cheer was acquired in a back room shooting craps — that and, if we can believe our writers of vaudeville skits, his two gastronomic delights, namely, chicken and watermelon. But as we passed "Washington Park recently there came to us the astounding realization that our ideas regarding the 1927 negro and his means of keeping amused his own sunburned self were slightly whis kered, and just a little bit palsied. We saw hundreds of ex-Africans playing tennis, indulging in heavy if inconvenient golf, and going in for Woman s World Fair TI4ECWICAG0AN 7 the most Lake Shore Drive sport of all — horseback riding. Baseball, of course, has always slightly recognized color. The Northwestern football team usually manages to have one dark skinned player. And there is yet the memory of the very flashy Mr. Slater from the Iowa eleven. And yet to see negroes wrapped up in what we seriously and without wrinkling foreheads call our country club sports was to us a revelation which manifested itself only by an unorthodox and graceless widening of the eye sockets. A EL of which brings to mind the ** fact that there are at present 160,000 negroes in Chicago. It is particularly interesting to recall — according to Miss Helen Jeter of the University of Chicago Sociology De partment, whose book, Trends of Population in the Region of Chicago, will soon be released — that in 1910 that figure was less than 50,000. The first migration, of course, oc curred immediately after the Civil war. But they were not numerous. The ex-slaves, for the most part, were content in the South and only a few of them had the desire, ambi tion or courage to break away. It was during the late , war that they arrived in Chicago in any great num bers — in 1917 when they were en couraged and attracted by the de mands for labor caused by the military upheaval of that democratic period. In 1902 the colored district of the city lay in a narrow strip west of State Street from 17th to 47th Streets. Only a few families lived east of Michigan Boulevard. ""THERE are today three large » negro settlements in Chicago. One on the West side between Lake and Grand near Robey Street with a population of approximately 30,000. The North Side section is smaller, encompassing a strip of post-com mercialism between Grand and Chi cago Avenues and the river, in the condemned and unpainted blocks of which live 5,000 colored people. Free Lunch The biggest group, as everyone knows, is on the South Side where the wealthier and livelier members of that jigging race live. A district where people dance on the street, where everybody can carry a tune, and where men break forth in green suits slit up to the fourth cervical. THE South Side group alone forms a block of 125,000, a vot ing barrage which has recently and definitely demonstrated its wallop. An unimportant factor, however, in this article. For What we marvel at chiefly, and sometimes envy, is that the laughing and the jigging and the glee goes on in spite of everything. There's noth ing to be sorry for ; nothing to worry about. Job or no job, the negro gets a good laugh and sleeps the sleep of the well-amused. And every one of them, each of the 160,000 strong, finds daily a new and different way to keep entertained his own listless and merry self. As We See It Grandmothers Old and New FOR those Northsiders who are curious to know the significance of the eye-blue tower east of the Drive on Huron Street, we give gladly the information that it is not, as is generally supposed, a motion picture house. The influence of the cinema, wide spread as it is, has affected that building in construction only. That blue and gold ornament, as our most critical observations revealed, an observation which prompted a per sonal trip to that building to make sure, is still the Furniture Market. CVERY now and again there *—* comes to our consciousness a sharper realization of human sincer ity and business ethics, a harbinger of good faith and a better under standing of things commercial. Last week we had refunded to us a dollar and eighty cents — an over charge by the Yellow Cab Company. We were so overcome by emotion and restored faith that we got right back into another Yellow, rode out the $1.80, and gave the driver the refund check. —THE EDITORS. TI4ECUICAG0AN A New Angle FIRST it was the phonograph, then the radio, and now the home-grown movie. If anybody doesn't believe we have progressed let him think back, if he can, to the early days of the talking machine when the innocent caller might at any time be required by his host to grin and bear the scratchings and squawkings of that instrument. The radio was little improvement. But now we have movies in the homes of our friends, movies of our friends, by our friends and for our friends : Mr. Host, in the mountains, throwing a snowball — imagine ! — on the Fourth of July; Mrs. Host, in Santa Barbara, picking a rose — out doors, my dear! — on New Years; Junior cutting his first tooth. Mr. Host is half out of the picture and Mrs. Host's head is cut off just above the eyes, while the pictures of Junior are most unfortunately light- struck; but as entertainment the movie is equally as good as Cohn on the Telephone. And during the showing of the pictures the room is dark. Never say that life isn't better than it used to be. In the old days a guest was called upon not only to listen but to enjoy listening to the phonograph. The lights were bright and everybody could see how he was taking the program. Now in the heavenly movie darkness facial expressions are wiped out and that's not all — the guest can unobtrusively drop off to sleep. —RUTH G. BERGMAN. A ONE-TIME friend of ours, feeling a sprightly mood upon him and wishing to torment us, in sisted that he read out loud one of the quotidian sermons of Dr. Frank Crane. "What must the little children suf fer," said he, repeating the words of the great souled lecturer. "Well," we asked him, "well, what are they going to suffer?" "Oh, they aren't going to suffer at all," he told us, "or at best only a very few. Most of them, fortu nately, cannot read." Pretending Isn't it fun to Pretend that we would> When we know very well That we couldn't, Do lots of the things We should do if we could, When we're sure as can be That we wouldn't. — WILLIAM CLOSSON EMORY. "Jimmy, you HI' BRUTE. Say somethin' to me so I can SWAT you." TWECWICAGOAN 9 POUR LE SPORT By ASHTON STEVENS and GENE MARKEY A Play in One Act — or Less — Dedicated to Mr. Michael Arlen, Miss Kath- erine Cornell, Mr. A. H. Woods, Mrs. Couthoui and the Cain Storage Com pany in Particular SCENE: The reception room of a suite in a hotel at Deauville {adv.). On one side is a large, jumpable windozv, and somewhere else a couple of doors. In the center of the room stands a lady's hat-trunk, labeled "HATS (green)" THE CURTAIN RISES: A FRENCH MAID flutters in, with out a feather duster, but carrying a tall stack of ladies' green hats. A REPORTER climbs through the open windozv. He has no note book or pencil, but in case you don't believe he is a reporter, lis ten to his opening line. REPORTER I am a reporter. FRENCH MAID You've got nothing on me, kid — I'm a French maid. (They argue this point wittily) REPORTER (getting on with the plot) It's time you said something about my green hat. (He lifts his hat, and, sure enough, it is green.) FRENCH MAID Begorra, all Miss Irish's gentlemen friends wear green kellys. REPORTER Listen, Baby, my paper sent me here to get the story — why Irish's boy husband jumped out the window last evening. FRENCH MAID Ach, lieber Gott ! It vas dere vedding night ! REPORTER Matinees Wednesdays and Satur days. (This dialogue, which appears to be getting nowhere, is interrupted by the entrance of the HOTEL MANAGER, wearing a green skull-cap. Immediately before the rise of the curtain he has put in sixteen stealthy years as a house detective, and he is at the door before you know it.) HOTEL MANAGER I am the manager of this hotel. REPORTER I am a reporter. FRENCH MAID Ay ban French maid. [Editor's! Note: We know who they are. Get on with your drama.] HOTEL MANAGER I won't have no reporters snooping around here — unless you promise to mention the name of the hotel. (Just as it looks as if there were going to be trouble between these two well-matched fellows, the DOCTOR enters, wearing a green straw hat.) REPORTER (Laughingly.) Is there a doctor in the house? DOCTOR This is no time to be funny. [Editor's Note: Why not?] HOTEL MANAGER Doc, how does it happen you're wearing a green lid, too? DOCTOR Doctors never tell. Where's Irish? FRENCH MAID Lawsy, boss, dat chile is alone in huh room. ALL Alone? DOCTOR Tell your mistress REPORTER Whose mistress? [Editor's Note: Better shows than this have been padlocked for just such cracks.] DOCTOR Ahem ! Tell — England's sweetheart —that we are here. FRENCH MAID (entering the bed-room) Signora! Ees wan, two, tree gent in-a da parlor he wanta to see you. HOTEL MANAGER (harking back to the plot) This story of the boy husband hop ping out the window on his bridal night will be swell publicity for the hotel. Ought to make the front page. REPORTER I just got a tip that Irish's old play mate, Rapier Harpoonem, and his father, the General, are on their way over from London now. Good old Hilary Dillory is with them. (A PAGE BOY enters. He wears a green pill-box cap.) ALL (staring at his green cap) What! You, too? PAGE BOY Yes, and there's three more on the way up. (throwing open the door, and an nouncing:) Major General Harpoonem, V. C, D. S. O., Y. M. C. A. (The GENERAL enters impres sively, wearing a green silk top per.) Mr. Rapier Harpoonem. And good old Hilary Dillory. (RAPIER and HILARY enter. The former wears an Eton jacket and a green school-boy's cap. The latter, as we call him, to avoid confusion, has on a green derby, size 5 and %.) Both members of this club. GENERAL What ho! 10 TWECMICAGOAN HILARY What most frightfully ho! GENERAL I would like to be reliably informed if this is the apartment of the young woman whose bridegroom jumped . REPORTER Let's not go into that again. HOTEL MANAGER These are her rooms, Monsieur. (He doubtless feels that it is about time for him to step into his character.) GENERAL Rapier ! RAPIER Yes, Pup-paf GENERAL Don't leave my side. RAPIER No, Pup-pa. (The FRENCH MAID is in again) FRENCH MAID Oy, gewalt! Geeve a leesen. She's comink now. (They shoot their cuffs and re-tie their ties expectantly.) (IRISH undulates into the room, hip by hip.) (Father and the boys whisk forth concealed bouquets with a flour ish.) PRISH Dear, extravagant fellows. So like you all — to bring flowers. Did anyone bring a basket of fruit ? HILARY Irish, dear old girl, we've come all the way from England — your Eng land — our England — PAGE BOY Anybody's England ! HILARY As I, when so crudely interrupted, was saying — we have come to in quire why what's-his-name, your husband, on the night of his mar riage, jumped out the window. IRISH My boy husband was an actor — and you know how jumpy actors are on a first night. DOCTOR We know he was an actor, but what made him act that way? IRISH He died — he died for Equity! ALL (unbuttoning their shirts) But, look, Irish — we're all union- suitors, too ! [Author's Note: Mr. Stevens will have his little joke. And it is a little one. Markey.] GENERAL Are you all right, Rapier? RAPIER Yes, Pup-pa. (They are all drawn up in line like a Shubert clwrus.) IRISH (clasping the REPORTER) I shall never forget that evening with you under the elms. (clinching with the HOTEL MANAGER) Nor that evening' with you under the oaks. (getting a three-quarter Nelson on the DOCTOR) Nor that evening with you under the old apple tree ! HILARY (sidestepping) Look out for my operation! [Author's Note: This is Mr. Markey at his best. Stevens.] (Nevertheless IRISH clutches HILARY in an embrace that turns his green derby brown. Then she makes a pass at the PAGE BOY.) IRISH Darling, darling, DARLING! (Now she confronts the GEN ERAL. For a while things look pretty black for the old boy.) And I shall never forget that eve ning with you — GENERAL (hoarsely) Sh-h! Not while I'm playing the heavy father! (He goes into his dance.) IRISH (closing in on the offspring) Rapier ! GENERAL Rapier ! RAPIER (turning his back on IRISH) Yes, Pup-pa. IRISH Never mind, kid — I'll get you yet ! (Just at this moment a HOTEL PORTER, dimensions seven feet by three, enters, trundling a trunk truck. He is bare headed.) PORTER Is your trunks ready? (He suddenly produces a green porter's cap, and puts it on.) IRISH (with a glad cry) Augustus ! (She hurls herself into the POR TER'S arms.) ALL Good — night! (As IRISH gets a strangle hold on the PORTER, MICHAEL DARLIN, a small man wearing his own mustache and Morris Gest's hat, climbs over the foot lights from the front.) MICHAEL DARLIN Stop ! Stop ! PORTER Cheese ! The author ! MICHAEL DARLIN Whatta ya mean, cheese? IRISH (opening her arms to him) Mike! MICHAEL DARLIN This travesty has gone far enough. [Editor's Note: Too far, if you ask me.] GENERAL Have we been introduced? MICHAEL DARLIN It's my play, and I won't stand for it! IRISH You are only the author. / make the play. MICHAEL DARLIN You make a play for everybody! But don't you forget — (he sings it) I made you what you are today — IRISH (so does she) And I'm not yet satisfied! MICHAEL DARLIN Open a window ! (Somebody does. He jumps out.) PORTER Next ! (He, too, jumps out the window.) (In fact they all jump out the window.) CURTAIN [Editor's Note: It's about time!] TMECI4ICAG0AN n CI4ICAGOAN/ C OME one has said, and many have ** repeated, that to go into court with Clarence Darrow as one's attor ney is a confession of having mur dered one's grandmother, or its equivalent in cold-blooded heinous- ness. So deep rooted, indeed, has this myth become that it deserves to find a place in a readily compilatory Chicago Credo. For, runs the too popular reasoning, who would em ploy a crack lawyer like Mr. Darrow, whose fees must equal a screen star's boudoir allowance, if his soul were not as black as a Kenwood local during the rush hour? Embroidering a little upon this fancy, one might add that to have employed the late Mr. Erbstein must, then, indicate that one possessed a sense of humor and a predilection for keen judgment, while to retain Pat rick H. O'Donnell, Esq. reveals the fact that one has a taste for old- school rhetoric, flowing Windsors and Hibernian pathos. Darrow, Erbstein, O'Donnell — what a trio they made! Darrow with his snapping suspenders, his ambulating (though it may be hypo thetical) "chaw" of cut-plug and his straight- from-the-shoulder, man-to man way with a jury; Erbstein, the resourceful, enlivening the proceed ings by getting himself sent to the judge's chambers for the balance of the case, thereby putting court, jurors and even the opposing coun sel, to say nothing of the audience, in a good humor; O'Donnell with his tossing mane of white hair, exactly matching the shade of his Windsor, his scrupulously rounded periods and his voice properly tear- choked on the peroration. Any one Waving Windsor Wins Patrick H. O'Donnell. of the trinity, taken alone, is re doubtable; together, they are in vincible: when you see the three of them on one side, you know the case is hopeless, and therefore won in advance. A N instance in point was the ** little school-board affair of some summers ago, in which Mayor Thompson, Freddy Lundin et al. were accused of lifting slates or something of the sort. The evidence appeared to be cumulativ e — a "mountain" of it, as the state's attor ney, with accustomed originality, put the matter. No one doubted a conviction, while some of the more sanguine pleasantly looked forward to a big-league hang ing in Grant Park, though most felt that burning at the stake would be a trifle severe. Then in came the jury, after milling over that "mountain of evidence" for fully ten minutes with an acquittal for everybody. Christ mas reigned in that August court room. Jurors wept as they grasped the brave defendants by the hand and thanked them (the defendants) for their patience in waiting to be acquitted when the weather was so warm and everything. Huzzas rang, and camera-men batted each other in the eye. And then And then, when it was all over, thoughtful ones recalled the fact that it was Barrister O'Donnell's Windsor which had had the last say with the twelve tried and true — the Windsor, Old Glory, our Boys in Khaki and — and — at the end — some thing about — just a passing reference to — "the emerald skies of Erin" and "the breath of the auld sod." It had not been Darrow's suspenders or Mr. Erbstein's vaudeville, after all. Like Darrow, like Erbstein, Pat rick O'Donnell is a survival of an older, more colorful generation. But while Darrow harks back to the old- fashioned, tobacco-spitting country lawyer, reading Blackstone or Cooke with his feet cocked up on the desk in front of him, and Erbstein was the perduring-battling type, O'Donnell represents what might be called the poetry of emotion. He is the Fourth- of-July spread-eagler. For him, the flag always waves, and all women are as fair as horses and bourbon in the blue grass. Add to it all a certain Celtic blarney, mix well and take with a sense of humor. For Patrick H. is one of the main stays of his race in Chicago. He is always to be found presiding over or addressing all Friends of Irish Free- .dom and similar gatherings. There is in him an ineradicable Sinn- Feinism. As for England — ask him what he thinks of her! L_J E IS not only the friend of the * * Irish, however. He is the official spokesman of the Chinese of Chicago, a sort of godfather to Wentworth and Twenty - second Street. Once a year, the Celestials give him a banquet, with twenty- four courses, each including birds' nests in one form or another. And with each course, there are speeches. The Mongolians like the birds' nests and the speeches ; Mr. O'Donnell likes the latter. But in the pursuit of his quotidian calling, Patrick H. finds ample oppor tunity to flirt with the limelight. He knows, for one thing, that there is more than one form of eloquence, and that, since July 1, 1919, fluidity 12 TWECUICAGOAN may even rival fluency. At a recent hearing, everybody except Mr. O'Donnell and the court attaches were horrified at learning that Mr. O'Donnell had passed out to the court attaches cards entitling the bearer to one pint each. Judge Wil liam V. Brothers found the attorney's conduct "revolting and reprehen sible" but failed to find him guilty of contempt. Mr. O'Donnell ad mitted he could "see nothing wrong in it." He had his revenge. A day or two later he announced that he had a "little black book," containing the names of 300 Chicago policemen who, he asserted, were on the Genna Brothers' payroll. Officialdom trembled and the press had a front page orgy. Day after day, reporters waited upon Mr. O'Donnell in hope of catching a glimpse of that "little black book." But Mr. O'Donnell had changed his mind. After all, our constabulary is not renowned for its Lithuanian blood! SAMUEL PUTNAM. Overtones AMERICA'S cracker manufac turers now present a circular cracker which they claim can be safely eaten in bed. None of the companies, however, have ex pressed a willingness to assume the risk. ? Three million automobiles have faulty brakes, according to signs displayed in our local garages. We have met most of them on our Sunday tours. ? Charles Evans Hughes has told the inquiring reporters that he is "too old to run for president." We wonder if William Gibbs McAdoo could be persuaded to look into the family bible. ? It s Smoky Overtones : During the recent trans- Atlantic flght we had some discussion in the office concerning Lindbergh's nationality — whether he was Norwegian or Swedish. The final "h" bothered us until one . Oh, so soulful!' of the stenogs gave us a clew with "What's Pittsburgh?" SPIRITS OF CAMPHOR. ? "Toiler Pleads for School to Dig nify Labor" — headline. When future labor goes to work We may expect to see The pick and shovel shouldered with A proper dignity. ? Just when we had learned to rec ognize a dismounted cavalryman, along comes a physician with the an nouncement that bow-legs are caused by malnutrition. ? Kipling brought up to date : For skirts are skirts and pumps are pumps and ne'er the twain shall meet. ? Lindbergh landed in Paris with three letters of introduction and a pocket comb. The pocket comb came in handy. ? Clinch Calkins in The Nation: "Dawn, like a ripe fruit, drops with out a sound." The smithy's sledge, like a feather, descends upon the anvil. ? The telephone company has been up before the Commerce Commis sion to justify its rates on the "Movie" type of telephone. We're keeping quiet until they try to make us take one of them. ? If the executive committee of the Chicago Church Federation has its way, the would-be bridegroom will have to go on trial with his prospec tive in-laws as prosecutors before he can obtain a license. Well, better before than after. ? When we get our unified traction, one can step from the bus into the subway, thence by another transfer onto the "L" and with still another transfer use the surface car — but who wants to? ? What is the name of the young man who swam to Catalina and what is he doing now ? — G. C. TMECI4ICAG0AN 13 . . . And then there was Yvonne, and Nanette. I lived life with them." ..."Goodness, Mr. Randolph, I wonder that I trust myself with you." Journalistic Journeys THERE'S a deal more than smoke to the controversy be tween Superintendent of Schools McAndrew and the mayor's council committee on schools. On the sur face, of course, the bickering is merely a part of the mayor's effort to fulfill his campaign pledge to "oust that henchman of King George from the school system," and from a casual following of the fight, as it is reported round by round in the papers, you might naturally be lieve the demand for McAndrew's scalp entirely due to the charge of Big Bill during the mayoral cam paign that the superintendent had been making the young things of Chi cago into little Tory redcoats by teaching them pusillanimous lies about George Washington. That, as Mr. McAndrew and a few others familiar with the facts realize, is no more than a pot of political balderdash, a piece with other pre-election blather designed to dazzle the suckers into the tent for the big show. The real reason for the present continued squabble, strangely enough, has been either overlooked entirely, or merely hinted at by the reporters, although it repre sents a comedy of municipal affairs of Shavian quality. The plot has not been outlined, nor has the heroine and co-star of the piece received due notice in the press. The latter is none other than Miss Margaret Haley, business agent of the Chicago Teachers' Federation, sometimes re ferred to as a labor union. Now, to go on with a synopsis of the play, you must know that Wil liam, the hero, is inclined (in full view of the audience) to hide his light under a bushel. Apparently, until the mayoral campaign opened, he considered himself anonymous to the public. Then Big Bill went and turned the calcium glare right on him and his secret identity was out. A S a result, what with one thing * *• and another, our schoolmaster, in spite of what he can do to prevent it, finds his name popping up at him from the front page morning after morning. The thing is vexing enough to make a strong man bite his fingernails. This canny Scot came to Chicago shortly after our late lamented Mayor Dever went into office. His coming was patently a rebuke, if not a direct slap in the face, to the out going Thompson administration and its favorite school trustees, because it was announced his purpose was to break the hold of politics on the school system. It soon developed after his arrival that his real purpose was to de moralize, perhaps break up, the teachers' union, so ably and firm- handedly managed by Miss Margaret Haley. She, never fear, was quick to take up the challenge. One might impudently describe what followed as a cat and dog fight. Margaret, a veteran of more cam paigns against school superintendents than I would politely mention, marshaled her forces for war. That she has met her superior in battle might be disputed, but the fact that she never in all her experience went against a tougher foe must be ad mitted. As the battle waxes and wanes it begins to look like a losing struggle for Miss Haley, although she clever ly won the strongest support avail able, including the mayor, to her cause.. This support, though noisy, now appears to be a wrong horse. Miss Margaret unfortunately has all the eggs in one basket; she ventured the whole success of her war on winning over the council committee on schools. The job was easy. Within a month she had the alder men eating out of her hand, but the victory proved empty. Little Wil liam merely laughed at her, and whoever heard of getting the best of a Scotch sense of humor? | HINGS looked rosiest for the * teachers' union when Mayor Thompson took office and threatened to have McAndrew out of office ins less shakes than it takes to mix a cocktail. He turned the job over to his school committee, of which Miss Haley is the unofficial boss. The committee, in its heavy-footed way, began to machinate and present ly, spider-and-fly like, invited the superintendent to appear in person 14 TWECWICAGQAN to answer a set of obviously em barrassing questions, such as "Who brought you to Chicago and what for?" McAndrew, no doubt laughing to himself, instead sent a letter to a member of the committee, in which he answered the questions in his own way. He enclosed a picture of George Washington astride a snort ing charger and a poem about the durability of truth "despite the sneer of the cynic tribe." Can't you imagine him putting the missive into the mail box, chuckling, "I'll bet that knocks 'em dead"? It very nearly did. Alderman Mills, who received it, however, divined that Mr. McAndrew had not reckoned the newspaper possibilities of his little joke and with malice aforethought turned the letter, the picture and the poem over to the papers. Our schoolmaster must have been abashed to find a whole column glaring at him from the front page next day. He probably went so far as to say, "Oh Hell!" Again the school committee set its trap and sharpened up its teeth as another more urgent demand for a personal appearance was forwarded to the superintendent. It seems a little strange that the Scotchman should have again over looked the almost certain chance of more publicity, but perhaps the thought of wreaking complete devas tation with another snappy reply was too great to be resisted. The second comeback went as follows : "The tenor of your request that I appear and produce all papers, telegrams, memoranda and con tracts has so much the flavor of duces tecum as to suggest that you are proposing to try me before your committee. Much as I love you, I must deny myself that favor to you." A S a sort of parting shot he con- ** eluded the letter with, "I am not seeking personal prominence or publicity. I understand it was Alder man Mills who gave my first letter to the press. I do not see what was gained by it, but I do not criticise it." The net result was about four columns in the next morning's papers, followed by five or six columns that afternoon. On top of that the schoolmaster must have been further pained when the president of the school board inadvertently gave out for publication a letter from a New York educator which eulogized Mr. McAndrew for his splendid record in the east. The upshot may be history as you read these lines, but in any event, my bet at this writing is on the peppery Scot. His term of office expires in January. He most certainly would not consider another term in Chicago. He has been offered full salary to the end of the term by the mayor if he would quit instanter, but, although he hates publicity, the columns of print now heralding through the land his superiority in a match of wits against the city administration could quite conceivably result in sugary offers from the school boards of other cities — it pays to be adver tised — even when one hates it. In the meantime he remains in a pillory of print. Before the end he may find his whiskers, which have not escaped mention in the contro versy, to be his last line of protection from the vulgar public gaze. JOSEPH DUGAN. Turned Away! Sorrow came to bide with me (The frumpish, frowzy thing!) But all my rooms were rented out To love and life and spring! — SARAH J. WILSON. TI4ECUICAG0AN 15 IF I MAY SAY SO I SHALL not read any more books on psychology. They are too un pleasant. Since this cultural quick- lunch scourge descended upon Amer ica the book-stalls have been deluged with works intended to enlighten the lay mind on the mysteries of philos ophy, dentistry, gynecology, osteop athy and kindred subjects. The other evening I encountered a book wherein a couple of bright young men explain in words of one syllable the labyrinthine science of psychol ogy. Now, psychology is all very well in its place, but since college I have been content to remain aloof from it, for of late years the go- getters have trampled it in the dust with their "psychology" of salesman ship, sign-painting, facial massage, etc. Psychology isn't what it used to be. And perhaps it never was. However I realize that I should not have picked up that book. I regret it bitterly. In one of the early chap ters, dealing with the abnormal mind, I came upon a covey of symptoms which indicate grave mental disorder. A tendency to thinning hair, hasty eating, singing in the bathroom and the making of bad puns — these, said the book, are proof of insanity. And to my horror it occurred to me that I, myself, possess every one of these symptoms ! A disturbing discovery, indeed. For a few minutes life looked very black — and blue. Then a ray of consolation broke upon my despair. I suddenly recalled a brave galaxy of men — better, if not bigger men than I — who are similarly af flicted. Ring Lardner, I remembered, displays all these symptoms to an alarming degree; so, also, does Charles Hanson Towne, poet, novel ist and editor of Harper's Bazar; likewise M. Balieff, of the Chauve Souris; and the team of George Kauffman and Marc Connolly, who wrote Dulcy, Beggar on Horseback and other operas ; Keith Preston and Richard Henry Little are among the worst offenders. There is a long list. But none of these fellows has yet been clapped into an institution ; they still roam at large, free of the fell clutch of straight-jackets. Possibly the bright young men who wrote the book are incorrect. It is disconcert ing to believe that there is anything wrong with the minds of bathroom baritones and lavatory yodelers. It is bad enough to know that there is something wrong with their voices. AND speaking of Ring Lardner, that expatriate Chicagoan was in town not long ago, and on a Satur day evening I espied his distin guished and doleful countenance in the Bal Tabarin. I made haste to join him at the table of the Brothers Byfield, where there was merry making, ginger-aleing and what-not. Now, if I may say so, we have in America no humorist half so humor ous as Mr. Lardner, but he is not given to gratuitous jesting. He has been known to go a whole week without uttering a funny remark : in deed, without uttering any remark at all. This evening he was running true to form. The shrill gaiety of the Bal, the soft, pagan rhythms of Jack Chapman's Silver Cornet Band, the glamorous beauty of the ladies all around him — none of these ap peared to lighten the woe upon the grim Lardnerian facade. The "cabaret" began. A pair of stalwart Ring Lardner. Teutons in blue silk tights took the floor, entertainers whose feats of strength had delighted the more or less crowned heads of Europe. One lifted up the other and balanced him in mid-air. That sort of thing went on for some time. The stout fellows continued to hoist each other aloft in various uncomfortable attitudes, but their performance was more muscular than thrilling. Mr. Lardner looked on with deepening depression. At length he broke his long silence. "The trouble with this bout," he re marked sadly, "is that the boys aren't mad at each other." TALES and anecdotes concerning that dialectable comedian, Mr. Louis Mann, (not including those related by the late Sam Bernard) would, if placed end to end, reach somewhere, I am sure. The other day, in company with a veteran base ball scribe, I chanced to pass the theatre where Mr. Mann was play ing. "There was a time," observed my companion, "when Louis Mann never missed a ball game — but he always sat in the 'cage' where the newspapermen were enthroned. After a time the Baseball Writers' Association issued an edict that only reporters would be allowed to occupy the cage. A few days later I met Ashton Stevens at the ball park, and invited him to sit with me in the cage. 'No, thank you,' said Ashton, T don't want to violate the Louis Mann Act !' " GENE MARKEY. To a Rose Red rose, so fragrant and so fair, Thou wert designed for Rita's hair, Ah, I should love to place thee there Red rose, so fragrant and so fair. Thou art an angel's scarlet sin And thy bold sweets should smother in The sweetness under Rita's pin, Thou symbol of ethereal sin. Ah rose, so buoyantly cerise, No more thy beauty tempts me — cease. Thou costeth over a buck apiece Oh rose, so buoyantly cerise ! —PAUL ERNST. 16 TWECUICAGOAN /PORT/ REVIEW Horse Show CHICAGO'S smartest society will show their thoroughbred horses June 14 to 18 when the annual horse show of the South Shore Country Club is held on the club's showgrounds along the lake shore. The show has attracted a fine en try list of horses from several states, entries having been received from as far west as California and from At lanta, Georgia, and New York. Otto W. Lehman and E. J. Leh man will exhibit several horses while John R. Thompson, Jr., and the Strom stables from Wheaton, 111., have promised many entries. Mrs. W. P. Roth of Los Angeles will probably have the largest entry of out of town stables. She plans to list sixteen horses for the exhibit. The show will continue for five days and all classes of show horses, driving horses, hunters and jumpers, and pony classes will be displayed. American Derby NOT since the famous old Wash ington Park track closed its gates more than 20 years ago has there been such an array of racing talent assembled in Chicago as there is at the present. The new Wash ington Park track south of the city has opened its summer season which will continue throughout the month of June. The American Derby is coming back to Chicago at Washington Park on June 18, the Debutante stakes have attracted a notable field of 2 year olds including Anita Peabody, the fleet daughter of Luke McLuke, owned by Mrs. John Hertz of Chi cago, the Illinois Oaks has attracted all the good 3 year old fillies in the country and the Sweitzer handicap has drawn a crack field of stake horses. The legalizing of pari-mutuel bet ting on races in Illinois has had its effect on the Chicago racing. Among the patrons who are here to race their horses during June are R. T. Wilson, president of the Saratoga Association of New York, Walter J. Salmon, of New York, Former Sen ator J. N. Camden, Col. J. S. Taylor and Col. W. E. Applegate of Ken tucky, Stuyvesant Peabody, Val Crane, H. Teller Archibald, C. B. Schaefer, J. H. Mannheimer and Alderman J. J. Coughlin of Chicago, H. J. Macomber, California million aire, H. G. Bedwell of Maryland, the Seagram brothers of Canada and many others. Patronizing the stakes aside from these owners will be Harry Payne Whitney, Mrs. Payne Whitney, Harry F. Sinclair and Joseph E. Widener of New York, Edward R. Bradley of Kentucky, and Mr. and Mrs. Walter M. Jeffords of Phila delphia. Mr. Whitney plans to send Whis kery, the Kentucky Derby winner, and possibly one other horse to the American Derby. Joseph E. Widener may be represented by both Osmand and Chance Shot. There were 83 of the best 3 year olds in the country nominated for the Amer ican Derby for which a purse of $25,000 has been offered. Mackinac Island Race CHICAGO yachtsmen, with sev eral additions to the local col ony, are ready for one of the most crowded seasons ever held on Lake Michigan. The Chicago and Col umbia clubs all have a number of races scheduled and every yachts man has been busy for the last six weeks fitting out and getting ready to take the water. Several new boats will appear in local competition. Notable among these is Tecumseh, a 62 foot schooner which was purchased dur ing the spring by a syndicate headed by John P. Brady and Julian Arm strong. The big boat was bought in Boston and already is in Lake Michi gan's waters being groomed for rac ing. Practicing for the Horse Show at the South Shore Country Club. TU ECUICAGOAN 17 The Mackinac Island race, the longest fresh water contest in the world, which will start from Chi cago port on July 23, is the big race of the season. Club races are held each Saturday afternoon for all classes of yachts from the little "pups" (the midget sloops) to the big cruising boats. Motor boat owners also have a busy season carded. One of the im portant events of the year will be a race from Chicago port to Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin. The race is sched uled to start the same time the sail ing crafts square away on the Mackinac Island cruise. Golf I NTEREST in the golf world for * the next two weeks will center on the national open championship tournament which will be played June 14 to 16 at the Oakmont Club at Pittsburgh. Nearly 900 players, 894 to be exact, posted their entries for the world famous competition and the field includes every Ameri can golfer of standing with the ex ception of Jess Sweetser, the ama teur champion, who is recovering from a serious illness which overtook him last season after he won the amateur title. The players will qualify for the championship tournament in seven teen cities throughout the country on June 6. Qualifying trials will be held at the Park Ridge Country Club, for the Chicago and middle western dis trict, and at San Francisco, Los Angeles, Seattle, Dallas, Denver, Kansas City, St. Louis, Minneapolis, Cleveland, Detroit Pittsburgh, Rich mond, Atlanta, New York, Boston and Philadelphia. Members of the British Ryder cup professional team, which recently completed their series of matches with American professionals, will be allowed to play in the open tourna ment without competing in a quali fying round. On June 8 and 9 the Illinois Sen iors Golf Association, composed of veterans of the old Scotch game, will compete in their annual tournament at Rockford. Several of 164 golf clubs of the Chicago district have invitation tour naments carded for the early part of this month. In fact, golf has prog ressed to such a degree that tourna ments are almost daily occurrences in the district. Track Meet COLLEGE and university ath letes from all sections of the country will compete on June 10 and 11 in the National Collegiate track and field championship meet in the big stadium at Grant Park. The meet will determine the individual champions in every branch of track and field competition and the game should be of great assistance to the American Olympic Committee, which is busy getting data on the country's athletes in preparation for building a team to compete in the Olympic Games which will be held in the summer of 1928 at Amster dam, Holland. In the national collegiate meet the field of athletes should be well over the 500 mark. This will include the best performers of the leading var sity conferences of the country — The Missouri Valley Conference, The Eastern Intercollegiate Confer ence, The Western Conference and the Pacific Coast Conference. The National meet will be held under supervision of Prof. A. A. Stagg, the athletic director and vet eran football coach at University of Chicago; Maj. John L. Griffith, the athletic commissioner of the Western Conference, and Prof. T. E. Jones, track coach at University of Wis consin. Polo, Greyhounds, Tennis OOLO players of the city have *¦ planned a busy summer, with match games extending from early June to September. The Onwentsia Club at Lake Forest will have two teams in the field. Oakbrook again has a strong steam while Col. R. R. McCormick of Wheaton is muster ing a team to enter in local tourna ments. GREYHOUND racing has taken Chicago's fancy. Several tracks are operating within the boundaries of Cook County and all report good attendances. Tracks are holding races each evening at Thorn ton, Hawthorne, Lyons, and Elgin. Another track which will run within the city limits will open within a week at 26th street and Kostner Avenue, on the Southwest side of Chicago. ¦ ¦'¦ I ENNIS players are tuning up * for the Sherwood cup tourna ment which will be played at the Chicago Town and Tennis Club on June 6. This Sherwood Cup compe tition is an established annual event and always attracts the best racquet wielders in the middle west. — SPORTSMAN. 18 TW ECUICAGOAN Sofihie Tucker and Chic Sale grinning through the mirthful performance of Gay Paree at the Garrick. One might assume, to judge from their merry features, that they have just received their weekly j)ay envelope. And we are given to understand that that j>ay envelope would make anybody smile. Please note the tone of contentment stretching across the face of Mme. Tucker. TUEO4ICAG0AN 19 THE STAGE THOSE blithe fellows, Lee and Jacob Shubert, have long been purveying amusement to Chicago's theatre customers, and no matter what we used to think of the old- style "Shubert show" (with costumes designed by Bud Fisher, and ladies of the ensembles furnished by Armour & Company) we must admit that of late the boys have learned some new tricks. They and their cohorts have evolved a formula for what is known as the revue, and in the current version of Gay Paree, recently unveiled (and that is the word) at the Garrick, this formula clicks. Gay Paree is as blatant as a bordello, and it hasn't a tune that you can remember as far as the lobby on your way out, but it is a perfect summer show for Chicago. The names that burn in the electric light bulbs above the door are Sophie Tucker and Chic Sale, and they are names to conjure with. (And to conjure with them the Messrs. Shubert must write a lot of numbers in their cheque book each week.) Moreover, there are several brisk young people of both sexes, presumably, who do this and that to speed the evening, in addition to an opulent assortment of damsels, pleas ing to the eye and deft in their ballet manoeuvres. They deserve a ballet- hoo of their own. IN the matter of comedy for their extravaganzas, it is alleged that the Messrs. Shubert maintain on their pay-roll an extensive corps of travelling men, whose duties consist in reporting all the Pullman smoker anecdotes they can remember, as far back as 1902. These are dramatized, and in due course appear in the form of comic sketches. Gay Paree is embellished with many such inter- lewds, and the laughter they evoke can be heard on a clear evening as far as Aurora, 111. From where we sit there is no sprightlier mime on any continent than Mr. Charles Sale — or "Chic," as he is known, to avoid confusion. His new impersonations of rustic types are as fine as anything done (with or without whiskers) by the Moscow Art lads — and twice as funny. As to Mme. Tucker, Amer ica's least confidential chanteuse, it is our opinion that her presence in any entertainment is worth, in rough figures, about a million dollars. And however clamorously acclaimed she may be in London and New York, Chicago (as she used to proclaim in the hymn of that title) is her home town. One might suggest that Gay Parce is scarcely a spectacle to take the children to. But they'll probably go, anyway. It is, however, the precise place to while away an evening with the buyers from out of town. And it has received the official approval of the Federation of Husbands- Whose- Wives-Are-Away - For - The - Sum mer, local No. 683. —GENE MARKEY. Wet Ghosts "r\0 YOU remember," began the U Old-Timer, his foot feeling for a phantom rail, "do you re member Heine Gabubeler's ?" "Do I ! Ha, ha ! Remember that collapsible stair that led up to the balcony?" "Many a rube I've seen take a tumble when the bartender pulled that string." "And remember the old cow-bell the bartender used to ring every time anybody bought a drink?" "It was going just about all the time." "And the shock you used to get when you went to pick up your nickel off the wet bar?" "A nickel! You said it, partner. Them was the days." "Remember the tunnel?" "Which one? In the old Mc- Vickers' Building or the one on Van Buren street?" "Both of 'em — I mean all, for there were a number of 'em. Re member the 'babies' they used to serve?" "Babies ! Oh, boy, what a dream !" "And the free lunch!" "And the free lunch !" Both take time out to weep. <<p EMEMBER the old girly-girly I* shows in South State street ?" "Where they used to peddle beer and hot tamales through the audi ence ?" "Oh, boy!" Both grope for the foot rail that never was. "Remember Hinky Dink's?" "Sure. Remember the old Silver Dollar?" "Now, you're talkin' ! Remember the California?" "And the show they used to put on?" "Oh, Boy, that was some show !" "Oh, was it a show — here, this is my buy." "Now, now, now I'm buyin' this drink." The Bootlegger collects from both. "Remember how the cabs used to be lined up out in front?" "Yeh, horse-cabs." "And how the pianos used to hit it up inside?" "Remember the old song, Ain't You Goin' T'buy a Drinkt" "Remember how, about midnight, some gal'd sing out, 'Hey, there, Perfesser, won'tcha please give us Silver Threads Among the Gold?'" "Remember old Custom House Place?" "Remember ? Say, partner ! How old are you?" "Excuse me, gents, but which one o' youse is goin' t'pay fer that last round?" (In concert) : "Excuse us, boss, we were so busy talkin' over old times. Here, this is on me. No, it's on me." Their Host once more collects all around and departs. "Not bad liquor for six bits a shot." "Not bad." "No— not bad." WILHELM WEINEND. 20 TWCCWICAGOAN THE CINEMA Teddy Rides Again 1 "HE new Teddy in The Rough * Riders is the old Teddy, in all but fact, three minutes after the pic ture opens. In something less than one of those minutes, by virtue of a structural device which must not be anticipated, it is the year '98 and Spain is an oppressor to be disci plined though the disciplining re quire the last quick drop of Yankee blood. No picture has so deftly and successfully set back the clock. By one consummate artifice Director Victor Fleming clears retrospect of the World War and other items in tervening between the now of an Auditorium chair and the then of Roosevelt's demand for intervention. A niche to Fleming. But The Rough Riders is not merely history. Like Cruze, this director enunciates fact and fiction simultaneously and with equal grace, employing humor, pathos and sur prise to mask the individual charac teristics of his ingredients. The re sult is something closely approaching re-creation. It is supreme entertain ment. The Rough Riders succeeded Old Ironsides May 17 not only as the Auditorium attraction, the one top levy exhibition current, but also as the best picture in town. It is the one picture on display hereabouts so good in the whole that individual performances, even names of indi vidual performers, are not readily recalled an hour after observation. Much as the picture players dislike it, this is the acid test of screen en tertainment. Also Current /^NTHER pictures viewed before ^"^ press deadline and now show ing in the lesser if more convenient cinemas are : The Night of Love, a well public ized but nevertheless good medieval romance with Ronald Colman, Vilma Banky and Montagu Love, the points of a plainly pointed triangle . . . Cabaret, night club hokum con cocted as an alibi for filming Gilda Gray's dance, which the censors re moved. . . . Babe Comes Home, in which George Herman Ruth gives a remarkable impersonation of a mo- "/ love to wheel the little dear; she has the sparkling mind of her father." tion picture actor and the expected things happen unexpectedly. . . . Rough House Rosie, with engrossing Clara Bow doing the headlong things she makes you like to think are the sort of things Clara Bow does. . . . The Tender Hour, beautiful Billie Dove and belligerently boyish Ben Lyon removing Montagu Love and other formidable obstacles to ro mance — in Paris. . . . Three Hours, heavy, somewhat old-fashioned and very badly calculated society drama backgrounding Corrinne Griffith and a wonderful two-year-old named Mary Louise Miller. . . . Chang, strikingly interesting camera revela tions of life as it is endured by cer tain residents of Siam, of which more later. Not such an attractive prospectus, perhaps, but the better theatres are cool and there's always the newsreel and the Lindberghs who make it worth the admission price. New Places /^\N May 28 Marks Brothers ^S added an important playhouse to the city's quite expensive collec tion and contributed an idea possibly of value to parents and certainly to the Pullman company. The new house which accommodates 5,200 persons at a sitting has been named the Marbro. It is a splendid struc ture, however, and the opening per formance prompts high expectancy. Further expansion of our enter tainment facilities is in process of being made by a picture producing concern which has acquired the Apollo theatre and will open it in the fall under particularly promising circumstances. The house is being rebuilt and the program plan is to be one not now in use hereabouts, a specifically artistic blending of stage and screen material which has been extremely successful in Los Angeles, scene of its nativity. Admission prices will be higher than we're ac- . customed to paying and two-a-day may be the performance schedule. Out Hollywood way people dress for these things and it all works out very well indeed. — w. R. WEAVER. TUECUICAGOAN Free Show IT is a long, long walk from the I Illinois Central Station to my of fice, and it was a drab one until I learned the pleasure to be derived from a number of charming and very frank people I see every day. I see, for instance, the lady in the spotless apron who forever sprinkles salt, bits of paper, or bent pins on a velvety, maroon carpet, and then im mediately spirits them into the maw of a large, shiny vacuum cleaner. Her pride in the alacrity with which the rug each time becomes spotless is beautiful to behold, and she gives us poor outsiders who are watching be yond the pale a bright, proud smile of achievement. I, for one, can hardly keep from cheering, "Bully for you, lady; now see if you can do it again." She always does it again. At first she merely swept the carpet clean, but lately she has become so expert that she can write mottoes and slo gans in the dust. She is a virtuoso of the vacuum cleaner. Then, there is the beautiful pink blonde who tests Mexican diamonds. First, she taps on the window with a glistening ruby nail, and then holds up gleefully a magnificent sparkler. This she gives the well known fire, acid, water and Wasserman tests. Each time, smiling her golden smile, she discovers anew that a Mexican diamond will pass anything — and they're a lot cheaper than real ones. AND all along the street are her colleagues, who, from the lady who amuses a tired audience with a small teddy bear made like a glove (which, when urged by her nimble fingers, will wave its arms and wig gle its lumpy head) to the ever busy shoe menders, never lack an entranced convocation. The atten tion they receive does their souls good. But by far the most pathetic of these, and the most human, is that poor, dark, little man who spends his days, in full view of all who care to look, taking off his pants. He does it with a gesture of infinite sadness, but with brave abandon, and then pulls them on again to show a new and more secure brand of belts and suspenders. My heart goes out to him. A man's pants are his choicest possession — his greatest stronghold. Without them he is nothing. Think of this little man whom necessity has forced so low that the removal of his most valuable article of clothing, in itself one of the most ungraceful gestures known to man, becomes his only means of making a living. A cordon of sympathetic males always surrounds him, determined to give him all the shelter possible in his humiliation. —WALKER EVERETT. Poetic Acceptances Mr. Vachel Lindsay accents an Invitation to a Week-end m the Country. Thanks just a lot for the in-vi-ta- shun I'll walk over from the Pawpaw sta-shun. Walk! Stalk! Stride with my feet, Stride and trample and splatter on the street! I answer with a say-tone, yea-tone, ray-tone ; I heed the Don't-delay-tone, Pray come-Fri-day-tone. . . . I'll weekend with you June 28 Walking, talking, Climbing on a gate. Come along a stalking and I won't be late. I'll hark to the week-end, bleak-end, freak-end, Argentine-or-Greek-end, recite-and- do-be-queek-end, At Idle Hours Cot-tage, June 28. — DONALD PLANT. 22 TWCCI4ICAG0AN MUSICAL NOTES I 'HE Evanston Festival is no * place for a splenetic critic. No matter how good or bad the per formance, no matter how illustrious the artist or orchestra, the air of Patten gymnasium is so joyfully contagious that it is impossible not to have a good time. On Tuesday evening, May 25th, the proceedings were devoted to miscellaneous arias sung by Edward Johnson of the Metropolitan, the Saint-Saens G minor piano concerto, played by Mischa Levitzki, and orchestral con tributions from Mr. Stock and his technically deceased orchestra. It seemed to be Johnson's evening, and that festive audience, spread out under gleaming electric lights and festoons of bright ribbons dangling from the huge roof, was quick to take him to its heart. He sang tenor arias from Andre Chenier and Car men, and the Narrative from Lohen grin, but they called him back for encore after encore. The reason is not far to seek, for he has a fine voice, sweetly and intelligently used, he has the artistry which makes shoddy music temporarily stimulat ing, and when he smiles at the female contingent he gets a reaction not en tirely aesthetic. A very easy young gentleman to look at. jyriSCHA LEVITSKI, nonchal- * * antly brilliant as usual, raced through the gilded passages of the Saint-Saens, and conquered, by dint of pyrotechnical fluency and a pul sating beat that kept your feet mov ing in fox-trot time, the dullness im plicit in this empty music. He, too, replied with several encores at the vociferous request of the assembled customers. Mr. Stock's support in the con certo was not all that it should have been, and at times it seemed to be Levitski who was conducting the or chestra. But the band made up for its sin later in the evening, particu larly in Casella's delightful ballet suite "La Giara," easily the most dis tinguished piece of music on the pro gram. "The Jar," concerned in plot with the difficulties of a hunch-back artisan who gets himself shut up in a large piece of pottery, to the dismay of various and sundry drunken Sicil ians, becomes at the hands of Cas- ella a distinguished musical combina tion of ancient South Italian . folk- tunes treated with the most piquant modern dressing. As in the case of "The Rites of Spring," and "Pe- trouchka" of Stravinsky, and "The Three Cornered Hat" of De Falla, it is not its most effective when di vorced from the ocular seduction of corps de ballet and decor. We herewith respectfully request it from Mr. Bolm for next winter. —ROBERT POLLAK. Peace at Last I HE Great War seems pretty * definitely over. Even the alarums and excursions of pacifist hunting seem to have died out some how. Chicago as the Sixth German City no longer raises hackles of red, white, and blue on patriotic shoulder- blades. But we are principally aware of the new era through the return of hamburger steak on restaurant menus. The hamburger sandwich, of course, has long since been publicly vended — it was only a small dose of Prussianism anyhow, and consequently was not dangerous. The steak itself, a full blown menace, was different. Hamburger was a spy in an enemy country for a long while. Sometimes it masqueraded as a Jeffersonian, and was called Liberty steak. In other places, it became English, of the nobility, and was Salisbury steak. It was a chauvinist, too, as Victory steak. And it did honor to our commander-in-chief as Pershing steak. Various other causes were granted the dubious prestige of its adherence: Allied steak — a witty fancy,* Democracy steak — a satiric cut ; Bordeaux steak — Heaven knows why; and finally a relapse to the original and unregenerate ham burger. Thus is the war definitely over. The peace holocaust is German food with German names up to and in cluding the most Prussian thrust of all — kraut mit wieners. — F. C. COUGHLIN. 'Don't be afraid of the baby, Fido. He won't hurt you.' TWECI4ICAG0AN 23 BOOKS The Travel Bug — Paris Wins in a Walk IT is a moment when everyone, with hope or without, is beginning to feel migratory. And if one may judge from the fact that the bulk of the new guide books are about Paris, it would look as though trav elling America as a whole were about to follow in the wake of Lind bergh. To mention only a few of them, there's an up-to-the-minute revision of Sommerville Story's "Dining in Paris," a volume whose title speaks for it. And there's "Fifty Miles Around Paris," be Cecilia Hill (both published by McBride), a book which gives two months' worth of the picturesque little towns around Paris, with the accent on the pic turesque, for Miss Hill isn't steer ing you to anything that is dull or even industrial. And there's "How to be Happy in Paris Without Being Ruined," by John Chancellor (Holt), a volume which is, however, not so Sunday School as it sounds, since the ruin against which it guarantees the reader is not moral but financial. And, less safe still, there's "France on Ten Words a Day," by H. McCarthy Lee (Simon and Schuster.) The danger here arises from the fact that Mr. Lee offers jokes for you ,to try on the waiters. For instance, he suggests that if you're a water-drinker, you say "Chateau de la Pompe" when the waiter asks for your wine order. /"^F course England doesn't lag so ^-^ very far behind France. To mention again, only a few books out of several, there's a new "London," in the "Little Guides Series." This is really not a guide at all but a dic tionary to London, with a map by way of front end papers. In spite of its smallness it is extremely brisk and comprehensive. There is also a new English addition to the "Things Seen" series, "Things seen in Shake speare's Country," by Clive Holland (Dutton.) And there's one new book about England that is, in its own way, more extraordinary than any of the new books about France, namely, "River Thames," by F. V. Morley, illustrated in colour and with maps by Laurence Irving. (Harper.) This book tells in terms of actual boating the whole story of the Thames fol lowing its course from the head of the river to where it becomes Ox ford's River, blows through Henley and Marlowe to Windsor, becomes "London River" and ends as the Nore. RICHARD Halliburton's new book, "The Glorious Adven ture," is about Greece. (Bobbs- Merrill.) In the same spirit in which he lived and wrote "The Royal Road to Romance," he follows the much-wandering Ulysses about through the Mediterannean, from Troy to Lotus Land, which he inter prets as the Tunisian island of Jerba, to the Cyclops cave at the tip of Sicily, to the island of Circe, home to Ithaca, and so on. He also climbs Olympus, and stays on the "tower" until morning, in spite of an effort on the part of Zeus to dislodge him by means of thunderbolts, swims the Hellespont after the manner of Byron and Leander, runs from Mar athon to (within five miles of) Athens, climbs Stromboli and Aetna, and makes a like active approach to everything from the Vale of Tempe to the Parthenon, and from Parnas sus to the grave of Rupert Brooke. — SUSAN WILBUR. Martial Modernized Gemellus wants to marry That Maronilla gal ; He begs her, and he bribes her, though She's homely as old Hal. What can he see in a creature So run down at the heel? Why, she hasn't any figure, And she coughs just like Camille. — LATINUS. <P®£ The Resort of Fashion and the Epicure 18 W.Walton Place Opera Club Building For Reservations Phone Delaware 2592 Luncheon Dinner TWECI4ICAG0AN GOLF enthusiasts will find in our shop a smart selection of accessories for America's greatest sport. Knickers of fine imported lin ens, especially merit your in spection. // you contemplate a Panama we suggest "The Sun-Thorn" Priced at $10.00. | Sundell -Thornton j l Jackson Blvd. at Wabash i } Kimball Bldg. | E TEL. HARRISON 2680 : The Opera Club may be obtained, with or without cuisine service, on afternoons or evenings, for Private Dances, Teas and Banquets, with the exception of Wednesday and Saturday Nights. By reason of its ten years of service to many of Chi' cago's Smartest Social Func' tions the Opera Club is the accepted place for affairs necessitating excellence of service and appointments. 18 West Walton Place Tel. Superior 6907 Charivari Editor, The Chicagoan: In looking over your issue of May 21, I am surprised to find that, though a life-long resident of this city, you record things which I never knew existed, or if I knew of them, you take all the good out of them by a malicious interpretation. Beginning with your cover which shows what is presumably a woman golf player, continuing to your picture about The Tribune, and a tale which seems to approve the antics of a rabble of irresponsible journalists here in the '80's, you have gone on to make Chicago seem a flighty, humorous city. You satirize, caper, joke — and not without some knowledge of city con ditions, I will grant — but you are seldom serious about the destiny of the capitol of the Midland Empire. Chicago is a large place, I know. But I do think you exaggerate a little about her gaiety — I could use a harsher word. Let us have something seriously mindful of real conditions. Tell us about the Stock Yards, Railroads, Merchandising, and a hundred and one other essential matters. If we are ever to BELIEVE in Chicago, we must do so soberly, not flippantly and, as you are so fond of saying, 'gleefully." You should build up, not merely sit and laugh. Work first, then enjoyment may come in due time. Chicago does not impress me as funny. Nor did I see a bit of sense in the bridge game you wrote up in the May 21 issue. No one plays that way. Finally, and I have seen a few of your issues, I deplore your occasional references of liquor as a matter of , fact thing in this city. You seem to think it is easily procured. I know better. In the years since prohibi tion I have not been approached by a single bootlegger in Chicago. I do not doubt there are bootleggers; I simply do not believe there are many of them. They are not amusing. Very truly yours, and with best wishes, J. J. PARKER. 719 Rush St. Where Fine Cigars Are Smoked Tom Palmer Predominates Wengler & Mandell, Inc. Chicago - Tampa EVERY now and again there comes to this good town something new. Sometimes it is another steel mill. It might be more stock yards. And once it was the World's Fair. The point is that each year the city changes, sheds its bark of last season's prairie dust, and moves on. And that majestic advance has be come so sure and so steady that he who knew Chicago ten years ago does not know it to-day. Last season's neighborhood is now a commercial plant; the brownstone mansions of the early years of the century are now rooming houses; last year's slums a boulevard. Twenty years ago a citizen could feel quali' fled to make definite statements as to just what Chicago was: he might have dubbed it a down- right, unabashed commercial center; he might have passed it by casually but definitely as a typical prairie town, the biggest in Illinois, no more. And each of these assertions doubtless contained at least a moiety of saneness and truth. But that was twenty years ago. The gentleman with silk topper walking down Michigan Boulevard to-day is not Chicago. Nor is the old woman with a shawl who mumbles over a sandwich on a Grant Park bench. Nor the tug Happy Hours holding up $500,000 worth of traffic as it sedately chortles up the Chicago River with a twenty dollar cargo of hemp. And, despite all newspaper headlines, the beer-alcohol-crime crowd on the West Side is not Chicago. tkt CI4ICAGOAN WHAT then is it? Smoke and cinders? Lincoln Park? ... It is a smart man, in' deed, who does know exactly what it is today. For it is all these things and a million more. The ordinary business man, putting in his time at the golf links and the office, finds, upon reflec tion, that he knows amazingly little about the unadvertised sections of the city, the things which do not appear in the newspapers, but which make Chicago the city it is, and set it off from every other place in the world. And so — That is where we come in. It is our business to know the unusual thing about Chicago. Our staff is constantly on the trail of the item of to-day and the item of twenty or thirty years ago — many of which have been these long years buried under the sediment of progress and industry. But that, you see, is our business — to dig them up. And through the pages of this maga zine we bring to your attention such material as our careful researches reveal. This, together with an accurate reflection of the galvanic twist- ings and developments of this good city as it exists to-day. All written, compiled and illustrated by a brisk group of Chicago writers and artists — sponsored by Music through the years ? . ? with this incomparable instrument! 11 TODAY, tomorrow, a year ahead, or ten — with this great instrument before you, ready to play whatever you wish. The very latest dance music or a vast symphonic composition. An immortal aria or a popular song, registering the mood of the moment. Snatches of vaudeville headliners or a crack military band. And every kind of music re produced exactly! Come in — let us demonstrate the Orthophonic Victrola — soon! Hear the new Automatic Orthophonic Victrola The Instrument That Is Almost Human "\ -/- STEGER & SONS Piano Manufacturing Company STEGER Building Northwest Corner Wabash and Jackson