\\For "Forfroi g,M- Ending *nel6J928 tents Chicago's Unique Show Motor Boat Mart 2222 Diver sey Parkway at Logan Boulevard Here are displayed for your inspection scores of craft designed by the world's best naval architects. Long, rakish speed boats — comfortable cruisers — small motor driven craft. Boats for every purpose and for every purse. Chicago has discovered Lake Michigan and the many opportunities it offers for sport and recreation. Come in and see these beautiful boats, let us show you how the summer may be made most enjoyable by the possession of a motor boat. You and your friends are urged to visit this dis play as the guests of the following exhibitors: Acme Boat Co. Horace E. Dodge Boat Co. Boyd-Martin Boat Co. Indian Lake Boat Co. Sturgeon Bay Boat Works Evinrude Motor Co. Kennebec Canoe Co. Schillo Boat Co. Fay 6? Bowen Engine Co. Johnson Motor Co. Motor Boating Thompson Bros. Boat Co. Dan Kidney 6? Sons Dunphy Boat Co. Truscott Co. Boating Yachting Burger Boat Co. Shell Lake Boat Co. Sea Sled Corp. Gar Wood, Inc. Racine Boat Co. Century Boat Co. St. Louis Meremac Co. Richardson Boat Co. Robinson Marine Const. Co. American Car &? Foundry Co. Universal Motor Co. Red Wing Motor Co. Kermath Co. Rudder Publishing Co. Sixth City Specialty Co. Eau Claire Pad Co. Reliance Tachometer Co. Erico Kainer Co. Alloy Boat Co. Elto Outboard Motor Co. Christenson Boat Co. Water Motoring OPEN DAILY 10 A. M. to 10 P. M. SATURDAY and SUNDAY 10 A. M. to 6 P. M. The Chicagoan— Martin J. Quigley, Publisher and Editor; published fortnightly by The Chicagoan Publishing Co., 407 South Dearborn St., Chicago, 111. New York Office: 565 Fifth Ave. Los Angeles Office: 5617 Hollywood Blvd. Subscription $3.00 annually, single copies 15c. Vol. V, No. 6 — For the Fortnight ending June 16. (On sale June 2.) Entered as second-class matter at the Post-Office at Chicago, 111., under the act of March 3, 1879. TI4QCUICAG0AN l An Intriguing Picture Puzzle! Behold two busy business men hurrying home from the day's commercial strife. One (a bachelor) lives in the heart of the loop . . . the other (not a bachelor) has a home in the suburbs. Now for the puzzle! The married man is taking the bachelor home to dinner. If you knew that the married man was proud of his home and its furnishings . . . could you tell which one was the bachelor? BEvell'S at WABASH and ADAMS THE CHICAGOAN OCCASIONS COMMENCEMENT— Appropriate public services at the University of Chicago, June. 12, the University of Illinois, June 13, Northwestern University, June 18. Public and high schools, June 21 and 22. DERBY — The American Derby this time, Arlington Park, June 16. HORSE SHOW— The South Shore Coun try Club, June 12, 13, 14, 15, 16. DAT — The Summer solstice with its long est day of the year, June 21. NEWSSTANDS— The new Chicagoan alert and on the street corners, June 16. STAGE Musical Comedy GOOD NEWS — Selwyn, 180 North Dearborn. Central 3404. A nimble, merry and sightly revue, the best now visible in this man's town. Abe Lyman's orchestra. Capacity houses. And a golden future. See it. Curtain 8:20. Sat. and Wed. 2:20. SUNNT DATS— Four Cohans, 119 North Clark. Central 8240. A good musical comedy based on the somewhat risque "Kiss in a Taxi" but fumigated. Clean fun in a generous helping. Reviewed by Charles Collins on page 19. Curtain 8:30. Sat. and Wed. 2:30. THE LOVE CALL— Olympic, 74 West Randolph. Central 8240. Sigmund Romberg's music noted in "The Desert Song" and "The Student Prince" is here applied to the Great West of cowboy and Indian. A pleasing operetta. Cur tain 8:20. Sat. and Wed. 2:20. Straight Stage EXCESS BAGGAGE— Garrick, 64 West Randolph. Central 8240. The story of a vaudeville love seen acutely back stage. It did not please this observer. Never theless the play is a hit and does please everyone else. See for yourself. Curtain 8:30. Sat. and Wed. 2:30. A COMPANIONATE MARRIAGE— Cort, 132 North Dearborn. Central 0019. The doings of modern youth — mostly as rumored by their elders — come in for a stale and unhumorous custard pie barrage. Reviewed on page 19. Cur tain 8:30. Sat. and Wed. 2:30. THE J9TH HOLE— Erlanger, 127 North Clark. State 2461. Charles Craven is perhaps as funny as a golf motif will allow him to be. Nothing to split a diaphragam, but a fair evening from main floor center. Curtain 8:30. Sat. and Wed. 2:30. No Sunday performance. THE BABY CYCLOHE— Blackstone, 60 East Seventh. Harrison 6609. A very funny farce capably done by Grant Mitchell. The best play near Lake Michigan. Should run indefinitely. Cur tain 8:30. Sat. and Wed. 2:30. GOODMAN MEMORIAL THEATRE— Lakefront at Monroe. Central 7085. "The Little Clay Cart," a Hindu play and interesting, revived until June 9 (as these lines go to the printer's) will close the THE CHICAGOAN PRESENTS The 19th Hole, by Richard Salmon Cover Current Entertainment for the fort night ending June 16 Page 2 Some Civilized Interests 4 Notes and Comment, By Martin ]. Quigley 5 The Chicagoan's Own Travelogue, by Peter Koch 6 Imaginary Correspondence, by Jean C. Stephens 7 Hubert's Saturday Night, by J. B. Settles 8 A Chicagoan in Berlin, by Samuel Putnam 9 Daylight Saving, by George Redmond 10 The Chicago Plan, by Francis C Coughlin 11 Moment Musical, by Peter Koch 12 Dramatic Interlude, by Adolph Schusterman 13 The Derby, by Nat Karson 14 The Terwilliger Expedition, by Gene Markey 15 Chicagoans, by Dick Smith 17 Cable Comment, by E. S. Kennedy.... 18 The Stage, by Charles Collins 19 Juvenile Department, by Phil Nesbit 20 The Cinema, by William R. Weaver 21 Gloria Swanson, by Clarence Biers.... 22 Justice, by Delia Roma 23 Musical Notes, by Robert Pollak 24 Vacation Passport 25 Books, by Susan Wilbur 26 Verse, by Don Clyde 27 A Journalistic Journey, by Francis C. Coughlin 28 The Chicagoenne, by Arcye Will 30 Goodman season. Children's matinees on Saturdays. Friday regular matinee. No Sunday showing. Curtain 8:20 and 2:20. Variety PALACE— Randolph at La Salle. State 6977-8-9. Stars "at liberty" pick up the pennies in two-a-day capers. Also hand standing gentlemen and snappy come back boys in high button coats and sailor straws. Call theatre for program information. CINEMA UXITED ARTISTS— Randolph at Dear born — Ramona, performed by the highly pictorial and allegedly Mexican Dolores Del Rio, beginning when Sadie Thompson has gone her way and continuing no doubt until the song hit has lost its popularity. McVICKERS— 25 West Madison— Good bye, Kid, concerning the antecedents of which a certain secrecy prevails, to run as long as people seem to care to see it. A nice theatre, nicely conducted. Con tinuous showings and no vaudeville. ROOSEVELT— 110 N. State— The Drag Net, another of George Bancroft's robust delineations, beginning June 4 if not before and continuing indefinitely. No vaudeville, good music, continuous ex hibition. CHICAGO— State at Lake— His Tiger Lady, Adolphe Menjou and associates in comedy, June 3-9. A Certain Young Man, Ramon Novarro with the highly eyeable assistance of Renee Adoree, June 10-16. Together with overstuffed over tures, jazz didoes and an always surpris ing array of stage entertainers. ORIENTAL — 20 W. Randolph — The Haw\'s T^est, a picture, June 3-9; then The Magnificent Flirt, another, June 10-16. Pointless to amplify titular in formation, since pictures scheduled for this theatre practically never appear on the dates given. Jazz shows, for which the cinema is chiefly known, do, however, with Paul Ash's band doing quite as well under direction of Mark Fisher, Al Kvale or another. SPORTS BOATING— C. Y. C Race, series A, all classes. 2:30 p. m. June 2. Club Race, series A, all classes 2:30 p. m., June 9. C. Y. C. closed regatta, all classes, June 16. Special race for yawls and schoon ers, also June 16. Outboard Marathon, small and speedy outboard motor craft, from Milwaukee to Chicago. National entries. Novel racing. June 2. Baseball — Cubs — New York at New York, June 3, 4, 5; Philadelphia at Philadelphia, June 6, 7, 8, 9; Brooklyn at Brooklyn, June 11, 12, 13, 14, 17; Boston at Boston, June 15, 16, 17, 18. White Sox — Philadelphia at Philadelphia, June 2, 3, 4, 5; Washington at Washing- [continued on page 4] THE CI4ICAG0AN 3 TheMgtt Unkind Compliment Of Them All e_Amor Skin — Europe's Scientific Beauty Discovery guards against it. xlmor Skin is to be had in a reproduction of a rare Pom- peian lamp at these prices: Single Strength (for women between the ages of twenty to thirty-five) . $16.50 Double Strength (for those beyond thirty-five or for dif ficult cases .... $25.00 Aniof Skin received Grand Prix and Gold Medal at Paris, 1927; Gran Premio and Medaglia d'Oro at Florence, 1927. I TOW beautiful she used to be. A •*- ¦*- compliment, yes, but how cruel. Whispered behind fans, a story told with lifted brows. And so unnecessary. Amor Skin, a discovery by German scien tists, erases the tell-tale marks of time so effectively that you, Milady, need never fear this unkind compliment. If passing years have shown themselves in wrinkled and flabby skin on face, neck and hands, Amor Skin will remould the lovely contours of youth. To younger women, Amor Skin bestows the power to face the demands of social engagements and the attendant late hours without future fears. Amor Skin is more than a cosmetic. It is a glandular preparation which restores and preserves beauty. It beautifies in Nature s own way, instead of by temporary artifice. Penetrating beneath the epidermis it strengthens flabby, sagging skin and makes it firm once more. It erases wrinkles from face, neck and hands and restores a rose-like bloom to the sal- lowest of complexions. Easy to use, harmless, effective, we un hesitatingly recommend Amor Skin to every woman who would restore or pre serve her beauty. AMOK SKIN Amorskin Corporation Steinway Hall, 109 West 57th Street New York City x\sk about Amor Skin at any of the leading department and drug stores, or send coupon for interesting booklet. AmorskinCorp.,io9W.J7thSt.,N.Y.C- Please send booklet Name , — Address — 4 TWQCWICAGOAN [listings begin on page 2] ton, June 6, 7, 8, 9; New York at New York, June 10, 11, 12, 13; Boston at Boston, June 14, 15, 16, 17. International — Keio University, Japan meets the University of Chicago team at Stagg Field, June 6. Golf — Qualifying rounds National Open, Riverside Golf Club, June 11. National Open, June 21'23, Olympia Fields. Tennis — Davis Cup Final (American Zone Matches), Chicago Town and Tennis Club, June 1, 2, 3. Illinois State Cham' pionship, River Forest Tennis Club, June 4. Beverly Hills Junior and Boy Cham' pionships, June 11. Chicago City Championships, Chicago Town and Ten- nis Club, June 18. Track — National Intercollegiate Champion' ships, Soldier Field, June 8 and 9. National Interscholastic Championships (high schools and academies), Stagg Field, June 1 and 2. Polo — North American Polo Cup play at Oakbrook June 3. Cantigny Gold Cup play also at Oakbrook, June 10. Tom Thumb Handicaps, June 17. Boxing — Michael Malloy sponsors a fistic salon, June 18. Horse Racing — The Arlington Track, open since June 4, entertains the American Derby, June 16. TABLES BLACKSTOHE HOTEL — 656 South Michigan. Harrison 4300. Cuisine and service known the world over. Extremely civilized. MargrafFs stringed music. August Dittrich is headwaiter. STEVENS HOTEL— 730 South Michigan. Wabash 4400. Husk O'Hare's dancing band in the main dining room from 6 until 8 p. m. Competent victualry and service in the world's greatest hotel. Stalder is headwaiter. COHGRESS HOTEL— Congress at Mich igan. Harrison 3800. Isham Jones dis- courses melody in the showy Balloon Room. The glamour of Peacock Alley. And a nightly confluence of wise and worldly people. Ray Barrec is head' waiter. PALMER HOUSE— State at Monroe. Randolph 7500. A pleasant downtown inn offering good food, a fine orchestra and a minimum of bustle and whoopee. Very conveniently located. Mutchler is headwaiter. COLLEGE INN— Hotel Sherman. Frank lin 2100. Until 1 a. m. the Inn is lively with dining and dancing. The best after- theatre entertainment in town. Not too many inhibitions. And carefree cus tomers at the tables. Brown is head- waiter. GRANADA CAFE— 6800 Cottage Grove. Hyde Park 0646. New, gay, young and popular. Better choose a week night for dancing. Excellent dance music. Whole hearted attendance. Billy Leather is headwaiter. KELLY'S STABLES— Rush at Austin. Delaware 2141. A show place. Loud, informal, crowded and cheap. Tre mendous din. Harmless patrons. Johnny Akeley is headwaiter. LAKESHORE DRIVE HOTEL — 181 Lakeshore Drive. Superior 8500. The high point in Gold Coast hostelries, suave, aloof and exclusive. John Birgh is headwaiter. DRAKE HOTEL— Michigan Avenue at Lakeshore Drive. Superior 2200. Largest of the class inns. Genial, merry and comfortable. Dancing nightly to Bobby Meeker's orchestral sin. Peter Ferris is headwaiter. PEARSON HOTEL— 190 East Pearson. Quiet and well -bred. Extremely com petent menu. Impeccable people. A notable place for Sunday dinner. JULIENNES— 1009 Rush. Gargantuan meals after the art of Pappa Julienne, deceased (Helas!) but remembered by his cooks and assistants. Informal, very ro bust and a show place. Tuesdays and Fridays, froglegs. Madame Julienne presides. ST. HUBERT'S OLD EHGLISH GRILL —316 Federal. Wabash 0770. Albion's steaks and chops superbly wrought. Soothing service. Genuine atmosphere. CAFE LOUISIAHE— 1341 South Mich igan. Michigan 1837. Victory 1053 3. Advertised as the best French restaurant in America this Creole food shop pushes the copy writer hard. A rapturous menu led by the lordly Pompano. ROCOCO HOUSE— 161 East Ohio. Ade quate European foods within easy walk ing distance from the loop. A possible . solution to the daily lunch problem. A BIT OF SWEDEN— 1011 Rush. Dela ware 4598. Nordic cookery in a quaint tavern filled with nice people. Worth an evening. RED STAR INN— 1528 North Clark. Delaware 3942. Notable German grocer ies lovingly prepared and bounteously served up in a gasthaus administered in the best Teutonic tradition. Great. IRELAND'S OTSTER HOUSE— 632 N. Clark. Delaware 4144. A sea food palace with fare fit for Neptune himself. An ex cellent idea for after theatre supper. SALLT'S— 4650 Sheridan Road. A place for breakfast while the night is still young, say circa 6 a. m. Motley and merry din- VICTOR HOUSE— 9 East Grand Avenue. Delaware 1984. Italian cookery hand somely done and generously served up. An eating parlor, this — no distraction. CAPOLA— 5232 Lake Park Avenue. Hyde Park 4646. Not much to look at, but well managed in the kitchen. Excellent Italian food. L'AIGLON— 22 East Ontario. Delaware 1909. French cookery. A little music. Private dining rooms if desired. And the solicitude of Teddy Majerus. MARINE DINING ROOM — Edgewater Beach Hotel. Longbeach 6000. A place, eminently proper, which comes more and more into favor as summer draws on. Din ing, dancing and viewing the lake. Wil liam Nast is headwaiter. Very nice people. BELMOHT HOTEL— 3156 Sheridan Road. Bittersweet 2100. SHORELAHP HOTEL — 5454 Southshore Drive. Plaza 1000. Excellent places for dinner after a Sunday of motoring along Chicago's lakefront. PETRUSHKA CLUB— Closed (voluntarily) for the dull summer season. CHICAGOAN IF a Chicagoan some time in the early future should over hear a policeman inviting a friend to spend a week-end with him at his country club, it will not necessarily be an occasion for a report to the office of Professor Hickson; instead, it will only mean that the proposed country club for Chicago policemen has become a fact, and that the blue- coated and Sam Brown belted guardians of the law have joined their fellow citizens of plain dress in the enjoyments of the broad acres of our countrysides. A country club for coppers may seem at first flash to be a somewhat incongruous idea but upon second thought there appear many reasons why our policemen, in keeping with the many exalted prerogatives which they have taken unto themselves, should seek the rural delights of the mashie and racket (meaning, of course, the tennis tool) and even, con ceivably, the conventional refreshment of the nineteenth hole. While the coppers' country club cannot be expected for some time at least to have the traditions of, say, Onwentsia, anyone who has experienced the superior mien and obvious contempt toward any citizen of lesser status than that of President or, possibly, Heavy Weight Champion, cannot help but realize that with the opening of this new country club, country life in America will be enriched with a degree of the proud and intolerant bearing of the patrician which has hitherto been unknown. WE do not know whether some of our sportsmen — and even some of that peculiar new specie known as radio announcers — are merely seeking to give the great annual race at Churchill Downs some added complexion of the English turf by calling it the Kentucky "Darby," but even in the face of seeming to invite one's self into that unprofitable business of controversy over the correct pro' nunciation of proper names, we wish to advert attention to the fact that this Derby and all other derbies, as far as we know, are named after the First Lord Derby, friend of the king, pillar of the empire, sportsman, etc., etc. We have no personal information as to just how the first Lord Derby pronounced his name — or wished it to be pro nounced — still we have the word of the now living Lord Derby who, after all, ought to be reasonably well-informed as to the correct pronunciation of his own name, that the name is pronounced "Derby" and not — "Darby." The matter may be of no great moment, as far as the winner is concerned, and it may even have no effect what' soever upon the operations of the mutuel machines, but particularly at this time of the year the correct pronuncia tion would add immeasurably to the comfort of that con- siderable number of persons to whom the pronunciation "Darby" gives a distinct and localized pain. MR. JULIUS ROSENWALD stands at distinct variance with the age-old ambition of successful mortals to perpetuate the influence of their will as far into the future as possible. In his latest gift to the Rosenwald fund this distinguished Chicagoan adds substantially to his stature with the declaration that the entire principal of the fund must be expended within twenty-five years after his death. This is distinctly a new world viewpoint on a new world plan of philanthropy. THE stock market's adaptation of the lure of the motion picture to its operations is getting results. Leading brokers acknowledge that the movie ticker, which flashes across an illuminated screen a running story of the day's stock transactions in the brokerage offices, is no small factor in presenting effectively the drama of the ups and downs. The moving story as presented by this new type of illuminated ticker is perhaps already sufficiently dramatic and attention-compelling for many persons, but now that the brokers have taken this first step in a theatrical presenta tion of the market news in their customers' rooms, we should be prepared for further developments. We may yet find the movie ticker expanded into a full size motion picture screen, and in place of the occasionally monotonous and unemotional parade of letters and figures we may encounter impersonations of the various stirring leaders, acting about with appropriate musical accompani ment. And, in such an eventuality, if the show is good enough it may ease the pain of the sometimes severe admission price. IT is reported that Governor Len Small is to be decorated with the Roumanian medal of honor. It is expected that there will be no popular demand for a verification of this report because, it may be noted, those members of the Illinois electorate who are still encountering the gaudy, Did-More, placards placed by the governor at various eye-smacking locations in Lincoln Park, have no vote in the conferring of the Roumanian medal of honor. THE owners of the McCormick Building on Michigan Boulevard are making it difficult for Chicago to have a representative yacht club building. Under a grant of the Illinois legislature the Chicago Yacht Club was given permission to erect the proposed new build ing on a shore-front strip of land in Grant Park. The owners of the McCormick Building are now seeking to defeat the erection of the yacht club building by resort to the courts on the plea that their property on Michigan Avenue, under agreement with the state, was supposed to face land to be used only for park purposes. The McCormick Building owners should not be expected to sacrifice any substantial advantages to which their property is entitled, but to us, at least, it remains a deep and impenetrable mystery as to just how a yacht club building on the fringe of the lake, some half-mile distant across Grant Park, could possibly affect adversely the rights, real or imagined, of the Michigan avenue building. — MARTIN J. QUIGLEY. 6 TI4ECUICAG0AN &!& PETEfi, KOCH $ffi^V.fe> .-*.' , ¦'.--;*» -,..,:,: .U*,,:, .V <-tf TA^ Chicagoan s Own Travelogue — No. Ill The Beach at Waihki THECWCAGOAN Imaginary Correspondence From the Editor of the Tribune s 'Children s Bright Sayings" Department to Mrs. Rosetta P. Donwiddie, Evanston, 111. May 8, 1928. Dear Madam: I have at hand your letter with its little anecdote of your four-year-old son's comment on a dog and its litter. I am accepting same and enclose check herewith. Yours truly, Samuel G. VanAlstyne. * May 14, 1928. Dear Madam: I am in receipt from you, of the story of what your small son said to his playmate, on being hit with a rot ten tomato, and I duly enclose check for same herewith. Yours truly, Samuel G. VanAlstyne. * May 18, 1928. My Dear Madam: I have your letter of recent date, By JEAN C. STEPHENS enclosing two anecdotes from the life of your four-year-old son, Fred. If I recall correctly, I have already pub lished two or three Bright Sayings of this child. I congraulate you on the possession of so bright a youngster. As for the two stories submitted by you, I can only say that although it is our policy not to accept more than one B. S. from an individual, in one week, not to do so in this case would be more our loss than yours. Enclosed please find check. Very truly yours, Samuel G. VanAlstyne. * May 23, 1928. Dear Madam: I believe I wrote you on the 18 th inst., accepting the two stories you sub mitted, taken from your child's juve nile conversation. For these I mailed you a check. I am now in receipt of seven (7) Bright Sayings of your small boy, received this morning and item ized as follows: 1) What he said on seeing you kiss someone else's husband. 2) What he said when the mailman delivered to your house a quart bottle of gin, by mistake. (?) 3) What he said when the little girl next door lost her bloomers. 4) What he said on seeing the housemaid's new bob. 5) What he said when the milkman dropped a bottle on his foot. 6) What he said on being told that storks bring babies. 7) What he said on the prospect of Coolidge for another term. Now, my dear Madam, I believe I mentioned to you our policy of not accepting more than one story per week per person. As far as your son is concerned, I confess we are not equal, financially, to cope with his out- Ever play chess, Bill? It's great" 8 THE CHICAGOAN put. And then, you will understand, I am sure, that we must be fair to the other mothers of clever children in this our glorious country. If you could but see the tremendous incoming mail of this Department, I know you would appreciate our difficulty. Therefore, I am returning the seven Bright Say ings of your little son, Fred. Inci dentally, two or three of these, even if accepted, I am afraid, would not pass the censor. With sympathy, yours, Samuel G. VanAlstyne. End: 7B.S. P.S. : Have you tried omitting fish from Freddie's diet? May 25, 1928. [Telegram] Mrs. Rosettd P. Donwiddie, J 039 Echo St., Evanston, III. YOUR WIRE RECEIVED STOP NO YOUR CHILDS BRIGHT SAYINGS WERE NOT RE TURNED BY MISTAKE STOP WATCH FOR LETTER. VanAlstyne. * May 26, 1928. [Telegram] Mrs. Rosetta P. Donwiddie, 1039 Echo St., Evanston, 111. AM IN RECEIPT YOUR SECOND WIRE TELLING WHAT FREDDIE SAID TO TEACHER ON SEEING NEW ROUGE STOP SORRY MUST REFUSE VanAlstyne. * [Night Letter] May 27, 1928. Mrs. Rosetta P. Donwiddie, 1039 Echo St., Evanston, III. MY DEAR MADAM STOP I BELIEVE THAT BY DEPENDING ON CHANCE OVER HEARING FREDDIES REMARKS YOU ARE MISSING GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR BOON TO OPPRESSED MANKIND STOP WHAT YOU REALLY OUGHT TO DO IS FOLLOW FREDDIE ABOUT DAY AND NIGHT (CAN IT BE POSSIBLE HE SLEEPS SOME TIMES?) AND NOT MISS WORD FALLING LIKE GEMS FROM FREDDIE'S LIPS STOP YOU CAN SLEEP EAT ETCETERA AT ODD MOMENTS STOP IN THIS WAY PERHAPS YOUR INCOME WILL BE GREATLY AUG' MENTED STOP OR FREDDIE'S PAPA MAY EVEN BE ABLE TO STOP WORKING AND GO ON EUROPEAN TOUR STOP BEST WISHES VanAlstyne. * [Office memo from S. G. VanAlstyne to Managing Editor] May 27, 1928. Here's that correspondence. Mike, you must transfer me to the AppetiZ' ing-Chafing-Dishes Dept. or I'll send a bullet into my head. V. A. * May 29, 1928. Mrs. Rosetta P. Donwiddie, 1039 Echo St., Evanston, III. My Dear Mrs. Donwiddie : My attention has been called to your correspondence with our Mr. Van' Alstyne of the Children's Bright Say ings Department. Your little boy's re' marks are truly prodigious. I really consider it a pity that they should be practically lost, in one of the modest spaces of our publication. Therefore, Mrs. Donwiddie, I have a suggestion to make to you. Of course, you will understand that we are economically not in a position to devote an issue entirely to the Bright Sayings of your remarkable little boy, though we should have liked to do so. I think, therefore, that it will be only fair to you, and to Freddie, to ad' vance the idea of your co-operating financially in publishing such an issue. That it will make a sensation, we are positive. The advertising matter, etc., in our newspaper, will bring the cost THE CHICAGOAN 9 to you, down to but $25,000, and if you will kindly remit a check to this amount, we shall at once make arrange ments for the issue and shall send to your house, without delay, an expert shorthand reporter to enter into dis course with your kiddie. Respectfully yours, M. A. Fenton, Managing Editor. P. S.: Do not overlook the po tentialities of the situation, such as radio speeches by Freddie; Movietone performances; use of his name in ad' vertising matter; perhaps even a tour in vaudeville. M. A. F. (Not Adv.) JOHN'S affairs were at a crisis. He was in a rut at the office. Better men were being promoted. No body told him. He could see for him self. The president never asked him to lunch. Also he felt older. And he was having trouble with his iron shots. "I've done everything," he said to his wife. "I use Glo-Co for that well- groomed appearance. My hat, shoes, tie are what the well dressed business man approves." "Do you keep up in other ways? What do you read now?" "Fifteen minutes a day, of the Har' vard Classics." "John, dear, have you made a will?" "Yes, sweetie, there's a will, but there's no way I can see." "It can't be comedones!" "No, and I'm one out of five, too." "John, I'm afraid I haven't been a good wife. Do you think the trouble may be due to those Log Cabin syrup and Pillsbury pancakes you've had for breakfast, to start the day right?" "No." "I wash all the filmy frocks and un- derthings in Lux. We buy from a Better Grocer. Our house has brass water pipe. But that isn't everything. Oh, I can see where I have failed. I haven't read and studied to keep up with you. Oh, John, why didn't I send it to the Laundry?" "That's all right, little girl. You're my pal and that's what counts. To gether, we'll find a way out." "John, there is just one thing to do." "Yes, dear." "Ask the Naborhood Druggist." — B. F. SYLVESTER. A Chicagoan in Berlin Not Entirely Forgetful of Das Hinterland By SAMUEL PUTNAM CLUSTERING memories of cer tain Weinstuben and Rathskeller in the general vicinage of West Wash' ington, West Randolph and North Clark Streets, memories of old Turner Hall and the Red Star and West North Avenue, of brimming steins and Rhine vintages, of wienerwurst and sauer kraut and apfelstrudel — all these throng upon the naive Chicagoan of the year 1928, as the Paris-Berlin ex press approaches the Friedrichstrasse Bahnhof. Add to these certain after- the-war tales of an untamed nightlife in the German capital — narratives 'n which love a la Paul Morand mingles with cocaine and psycho-analysis, etc., etc. — add this latter condiment, and that same naive Chicagoan, as he emerges, at 10 P. M., into what is reported to be Prussia's busiest thor oughfare, is quite prepared to meet hordes of carousing Teutons waving foaming beakers and festoons of Thueringer. Our friend is a bit surprised, as he leaves the station, to find only chauf feurs and a few lonesome-looking Schupos (Schupo being high- Dutch for cop). But as he taxies to his hotel, he 'Don't be a Drum Major all your life 10 THE CHICAGOAN f— n m>z* "Let's just run off to Europe, John, all by ourselves.' "What — and leave me all alone in America?" brightens up a trifle, for the lights along the way have brightened per ceptibly. Cafes and Dielen and Dielen and cafes, then more cafes and more Dielen. (The Diele, it may be pa renthesized, is Hohenzollern for a cross between a thee dansant and a night club.) And such lights! Broadway and Forty-second, Piccadilly Circus and the Place de l'Opera pale beside them. They have a peculiarly Teutonic glare — a spectral glare, and fittingly so; for one soon makes the discovery that these pleasure-palaces are, for the most part, untenanted. Nostalgic-appearing cov ers and yet more nostalgic-looking waiters and managers, with the hope that despairing men know written upon their faces. Where, oh where, are the customers? The answer is, or would seem to be, they ain't. The average Berliner, a few days' residence suffices to reveal, is (literally) under the feathers at 10 P. M., while all lights that might be described as bright, by police regulation, go out promptly at 1:00; and there are few* of any other variety, outside the street arcs, left burning an hour later. By 2 A. M., Berlin is one vast counter- pointed snore. THE next morning, following our Fruehstuec\ in bed, we are too busy sending postcards back home, inform ing our friends in Montparnasse and the loop how disappointed we are with it all. Lunch in one's hotel is not ex tremely revealing. True, there is beer; but there is also beer in Montparnasse and — Oh, no, we weren't going to say Chicago — how could we? — why — ! But as we were saying — It is not until the mystic hour of four ap proaches that Unter den Linden begins to assume the appearance of being pop ulated. Gradually, this (as we are re liably informed) busy Hauptstadt shakes off its Roselawn lethargy. Dielen and Konditorei commence to fill, and signs proclaiming "4 Uhr Thee" take on a degree of visibility, alongside liveried and expensive (they are) door men. A glance through the windows of the aristocratically half-curtained street-level rendezvous tells the rest. Here, in deep-cushioned chair, around little feminine tables, is the gentry that invented Schrechlich\eit, engaged in taking its — lager beer? — don't be vul gar! — afternoon tea!! Yes, Berlin, Berlin the Terrible, has fallen. What bombs and poison gas and tanks and Chateau Thierry couldn't do, a little cup of orange pekoe has accomplished. The seat of Imperial Prussia is now as gentle as a Green wich Village basement. After all, why bother any further about disarmament and world courts and leagues of na tions and all that sort of thing. Why not go in for Lipton plantations and the German export trade? It would be so much simpler — and so much more effective. B UT don't think Berlin has been taken without a struggle. There are always a few die-harders. In all the town, I have seen one "Tanz- Mo\\a" sign. Coffee, at least; that's something! But no, I beg your par don; that wasn't in Berlin; it was in Duesseldorf, and after all, what can you expect of the provinces? Not that your Landsman does not, occasionally, hoist a tall one. He does, and it is very tall and very, very sat isfying: Turner Hall, of pre-war days, seems much less distant as I, faith ful reporter that I am, follow his example. And he may, also, consume a Wiener now and then — I have even seen young Frauelein consuming them in the entreact of the passion that was Tristan and Isolde's. As a Parisian taxi-driver would remark (when you compliment him upon getting you home without a casualty), cest Vhabitude, and habits, as Mr. William James and others have remarked, do cling. But the point is, Herr and Frauelein no longer take their Hofbrau and their sausages seriously. When they are, de liberately, consciously stepping out, as we all do at times, and are, so to speak, running the ritz, it is not a brau of any sort, but a teapot-brew, that they take — not Wuerstchen but (likely as not) "French" pastries. Which leads one to wonder: who did win the war, after all? We had thought it was the German mark, but maybe — Well, back in Chicago, there's a little place — But why go on? We're young and far from home, we particularly abhor tea, and — - And so, we weep into our beer — -plebeian beer! Daylight Saving SOMETHING'S got to be done about daylight saving. It has be come a blight on the fair escutcheon of Chicago — a menace to the young — a constant irritation to the radio-listening public of Illiopolis, 111. Why are we saving daylight? What are we doing with the daylight saved? Is there not a majority of Chicagoans who would rather save darkness? Is it not even possible that a potent portion of the population exists who would prefer twilight saving? I have talked to Uncle Charley about it. Uncle Charley lives in Evanston — was living there, in fact, before Evan ston was. Uncle Charley stolidly re fuses to turn up his clock. He avers it's a crime against nature, a flagrant nose-thumbing at tradition. "H'it was THE CHICAGOAN n good fer Pa an' Silas," says Uncle Charley, "an h'it's good enough for me." Have you an Uncle Charley? NOW let us take a case. Any ordinary case. We shall assume that Mr. A (the role of Mr. A may be played by Lon Chaney, or, since he is not a native, by Dexter Daring) has 'phoned his lady friend Miss B (or C, as the case may be) from his firm's office, thereby saving a nickel. He has made an appointment for 8:30, as is his custom. He leaves the office at 5 o'clock, the sun still high in the heavens. What happens? One of two things. Sometimes one of three or four things. Either Mr. A is deceived by the linger ing daylight and arrives lamentably late, or he arrives on time (8:30, wasn't it?) and finds Miss B contem plating the sunset. Mr. A's illusions are jarred. He has visualized finding the bewitching Miss B in the beautiful hazy half-light from the amber parlor lamp in the corner. He has anticipated leading her out into darkness laden with romance. And there she sits, looking at the sunset. MR. A is in a quandary. (If you've ever been in a quandary you know what that means.) Mr. A is also in a dilemma. What is there for young people to do in daylight? Movies? Ostensibly too early. Dance? What mockery — in daylight! Go motoring? But couples seen motoring before dark are always supposed to be married. There you have it. Mr. A's evening is ruined. Perhaps Miss B's is, too, but our space is limited. Personally, I have always been leni ent toward darkness anyhow. There's something about night that's different from day, say what you will. There's something about the dark that brings out the best that's in us. I can never sing except late at night. In the day light I am even timid about wearing my bolder neckties. Darkness makes us creative, ingenious. Let's have more of it! I repeat — something ought to be done about it. Something ought to be said to the Mayor. Something ought to be written to a congressman. Abso lutely, we must repeal the no parking ordinance — or was I talking about day light saving? — GEORGE REDMOND. The Chicago Plan -II Made Conversationally Accessible By FRANCIS C. COUGHLIN HOWEVER far the Plan might look to the future there re mained, in 1909, a difficult present of limited objectives to be worked out. Not on paper, but in stubborn concrete and steel. At the outset, too, there was the possibility of bitter and estranged public opinion set against any project which the plain voter might choose to think expensive and Utopian. The physical problems designated for first attack were six: the widening of Twelfth street, the Michigan Ave nue extension, the railway terminals, the widening of Canal street, the lake- front and harbor plans with their questions of park and harbor facili ties, and — finally — the Forest Preserve project. These six were admittedly only a start. The psychological problem was one: to convince a skeptical or lethargic citizenry that the Plan in idea and ex ecution was a high-minded and prac tical matter sincerely put forward for the public good. Once convince the 'Last, or next to last, you're still my horse" 12 TI4ECMICAG0AN voter, and the rest became a technical problem capable of solution on lines al' ready laid down. FORTUNATELY, the Chicago area is flat. A hilly or a rocky terrain would have increased engineer ing difficulties enormously. Fortu nately, too, the city was young and growing. Complications could be fore seen and prepared against. Moreover, her people were tolerant of change. Wrecking to rebuild was, to them, the natural order of things, and the ordi nary man took pride in his ability to understand technical matters of high complexity and grave civic import. Here was capacity, at least, for useful education. Unfortunately, the Plan was first known as the "Chicago Beautiful" pro ject. The name was a most difficult hurdle. From beauty the ordinary man prayed deliverance; he would have nothing to do with beauty; it was a lah-de-dah idea anyway. Sharp tongued citizens had great sport with the "beautiful" announcement before they could be wooed by a more prac tical title, The Chicago Plan. Yet the opposition was principally talk. Al most immediately Charles H. Wacker instituted a campaign in black and white to set down the virtues of his cause and confounded the infidel. Wacker 's publicity campaign began with a book compiled from a larger book issued by the Commercial club. The large volume was a gorgeous af' fair for the well to do city dweller, at $25. The small volume was a pamphlet of 94 pages issued in 165,000 copies and distributed free to every renter in the city whose rent was $25 a month or over. It explained Chi cago's Great Issue — An Official Plan simply and broadly. The newspapers joined in to explain and to advocate. " Wacker 's Manual," a school book, was discharged at the heads of eighth- grade pupils and succeeded in inter esting the children, or at least their parents. Eventually it built up senti ment for the Plan idea. More than 50,000 copies were distributed and studied. For grownups, Mr. Wacker devised a lecture to be delivered in the neighborhood school buildings. He de livered the lecture many times himself. Thousands of pamphlets were distrib uted at these lectures, and in all 175,' 000 people are estimated to have heard the plan through the spoken word — one person in 14. A two-reel motion picture — a fea ture in that day — presented the Plan in the leading cinemas downtown and after that on a barnstorming tour of outlying picture houses. Perhaps 150,- 000 people saw A Tale of One City, for so the two reels were called. And there was a pamphlet Fifty Million 'The B-flat? Oh yes, that's Junior's favorite key — but can't you just leave it out when you come to it?" Dollars for Toothing; it presented a scheme whereby the city could get rich quick (civically rich) by filling in the lake with waste material, the fill to become park property. IT was demonstrated in another far flung report that South Water street and its cluttered fruit market could ac tually be abolished and money saved in the cost of food handling, traffic easement and tax revenue. The sav ing, estimated at $5,000,000 a year, was ample to pay for the whole im provement in less than 12 months time. Chicago's 'Worldwide Influence in City Planning, still another publication, bucked up morale in ranks already con' verted. And day after day the newspapers kept up their campaign. Charles Wacker was not a man to let things rest on publicity campaigns. He realized that one great tangible im' provement spoke more effectively than any number of pamphlets and lectures. Barely a year after the Chicago Plan Commission had become an advisory part of the city government the Twelfth street project had been ap' proved by a majority of 21,000 votes. Twelfth street, re-named Roosevelt Road, was the southern side of the great quadrangle, an area inclosed by Twelfth, Halsted, Chicago Avenue and Michigan Boulevard with its inner communications of Wacker Drive (then unbuilt) and Canal street (still unwidened) . Twelfth was to become a 100 foot road from the Field Museum at the lakefront to the western forest preserve. A bitter fight with the rail roads. Scores of suits with individual property holders. Money, and time, and patience. All these were heavily levied before the thing was done. In August, 1916, the widening was begun. One hundred thousand celebrants cheered its completion in December, 1917 — but so far only west of the . river. The War stopped further im' - provements on Twelfth street for the time being. The rest is a story of the Illinois Central terminal to be finally built before the east link on Twelfth is completed. The cost had been $4,' 500,000, of which $1,750,000 was sub scribed in city bonds and the remainder assessed against property along the widened road. On July 10, 1911, three months after the Twelfth street ordinance was passed, the Plan Commission recom' mended improvements on Michigan THE CHICAGOAN 13 Avenue. The City Council acted quickly. Two days later a city engi neer had begun his survey of the costs of the proposed extension. On No vember 5, 1914, the Michigan Ave nue bond issue of $3,800,000 went over at the polls by 78,000 ballots, the larg est majority ever given a public im provement measure in Chicago. Wacker's publicity barrage had oblit erated the talk campaigners so harass ing to the Plan at the start. TO Randolph street, Michigan Avenue was 130 feet wide. From Randolph three blocks north to the river it was 66 feet wide, with a sharp grade turn at the river bank and an outlet over the jammed Rush street bridge. The Boulevard link and its connection with the then hypothetical Wacker Drive opened the cross-river area for a magnificent roadway through to Lincoln Park. All in all, the cost was $14,000,000— an additional $6/ 000,000 increase due to inflated war prices. The two-level street and its two level bridge were prideful mat' ters to the Chicago dweller. The humblest citizen felt himself a mem ber of an expanding and powerful city. That citizen's political representatives, friendly always, became ardent sup porters of the Plan. Mayors Busse, Harrison, Thompson and Dever car ried on wholeheartedly, and in aston ishing agreement. Simultaneously with the renovation of Twelfth street and Michigan Ave nue, Wacker and his commission had at the lakefront problem, and at the railroads, and at Wacker Drive, at a new municipal pier, and at river straightening, and at Canal street. There was, too, a concentration of ef fort to secure forest preserves. Technically, forest preserves became feasible objectives for city and county effort when the Forest Preserve Bill of 1913 as passed by the State Legisla ture designated private forest lands as areas subject to condemnation and pur chase for public use. County Com missioners became forest preserve dis trict commissioners by the same bill. In November, 1914, all of Cook county was voted a forest district by 100,000 votes. Suits followed. Were denied. In 1916, $1,000,000 in bonds was authorised for the purchase of wooded lands, such preserves to be located in each of the five districts near Chicago already commended by the Chicago Plan Commission. Here again the 'Helen, for the hundreth performance, will you marry me?' Plan action was purely advisory, though it embraced a survey of 54,000 acres. To the north were possible reserves in the famous Skokie valley and on the Chicago River — 11,000 acres. North' west were 19,000 acres in the Des' plaines valley. West, some 8,000 acres at Elmhurst and along Salt Creek. Southwest, 12,000 more acres along the Desplaines near Mount Forest — a high wooded, beautiful country. And near Chicago Heights the Plan Commission advised the purchase of a 4,000 acre tract. Slowly all these areas are be ing acquired. In the meantime work went ahead on plans for the great quadrangle. [Note: This article is the second of a series on the chicago plan. the third will appear in an early issue.} 14 THE CHICAGOAN Mr. Reigh Count, of Leona Farms, and other prominent Chicagoans spend a profitable day at Churchill Downs THE CHICAGOAN 15 Merchandising WE are swept by a surge of pity as we walk down Wabash ave nue past Van Buren street. It seems as though some of the retail merchants in the city have the hardest kind of time making an honest living. Here is one which has to raise $24,615.29 by the first of the month, or he will be in the hands of the sheriff. It seems a shame, too. Only last year this same poor fellow had lost his lease and was forced to sell all of his merchandise at ridiculously low prices. Then the most tragic thing occurred! The building caught fire! Down came prices again! The big sign screamed forth in large red letters "Fire Sale." With just enough left to make a new start, our friend once more em barked on the hazardous path of retail selling, but fared even worse than be fore. He went bankrupt! "I am broke," read the pitiable sign, and a cruel but credulous public swarmed into his store. Someone still had faith in the fel low however, and backed him in an other venture. The bankrupt sign came down. Sailing smoothly for a while, the barque of business finally hit the ultimate snag of misfortune — the proprietor died. Quietly the public bought the remainder of the stock. Then — ghost of a proprietor! — the store was open again and flourish ing. The world was shocked by the story of the Spring flood in the Missis sippi valley. Tales of horror were told in the newspapers. When the excite ment was over and new murders had crowded flood news off the front page, our well-known sign told us "Caused by Flood," explaining that the mer chants of the inundated area had dumped their stock on the Chicago market, with the hope that something of them could be rescued. Once again the people could get a bargain. Year in and year out, this store has its misfortunes. Year in and year out it recovers from them. Sooner or later it must have run the gamut of all of the world's misfortunes. At that time we will truly pity the unfortunate owner, whose millions by that time no doubt will have become numerous as are now his resources. — HOUSTON GRAY. "The nerve of that brute," muttered Mrs. B. "Getting fresh with me" The Terwilliger Expedition As Told to Gene Marhey II CHEATING CHEETAHS IN the opening installment of this thrilling account of my big-game hunt, I told about how I was the first man to take his mother-in-law into the wilds of Africa. Lots of fellows have wanted to do it, but I went ahead and did it. A man of action, that's me. Otherwise I might not be where I am today — head of a big, going concern like the Terwilliger Toilet Preparations Co. Well, there we were in Africa, at last. Our safari, that's the funny name they give to a sort of personally- conducted tour, was organised at some town — I can't remember how they spelled it — but it sounded like the con ductor on a Chicago "L" train, calling stations. Anyway, there were about a hundred "colored" boys to carry our baggage, and Mrs. Bowser (that's my mother-in-law) began raising h 1 right away because she couldn't take her two wardrobe trunks along. And I said to her: "How the h 1 do you expect one of these poor red-caps to juggle a wardrobe trunk on foot through the jungle?" "I've always heard," she argued, "that Englishmen living in out-of-the- way places like that, dress for dinner every night — to keep from going native or something. And if we meet any of them, how can I dress for dinner un less I've got my trunks with me? I guess I'm as good as any Englishman!" "You would be — in a wrestling con test," I told her. "But there's no dan ger of your going native — these natives around here are particular!" (That's the only way to get along with Mrs. B. You can't treat her like a human being.) "That shows how much you know about Africa!" she came back at me. "Lots of trunks are carried into the jungle." "Yes?" I said. "Well, who carries them?" "Elephants!" And she screamed with laughter. (That's the kind of a mother-in-law I have.) WELL, Agnes (that's Mrs. Terwilliger — and a fine hun dred-percent little woman in spite of her family connections) thought I wasn't being very nice to "Momma, 16 THE CHICAGOAN as she calls Mrs. B. "All right," I agreed finally, "she can bring her wardrobe trunks along." "I knew I'd make you give in!" Momma cried, triumphantly. "The porter that carries one will give out!" I shot right back at her. But she'll never laugh at anybody else's jokes. So at last we got away, headed to ward our "great adventure," as I have called it. I and McNab, our guide (a nice enough fellow, even though he'd never heard of Terwilliger products) rode ahead in one Ford, with Mrs. B. and Aggie following in another. And behind straggled our army of darkies. Mrs. B., I noticed, was wearing a bright red coat. I asked her what the h 1 she was made up as, and she said she was wearing a red coat so that she wouldn't get shot by accident. "That wouldn't be an accident — that would be wonderful marksmanship," I said under my breath. But I guess she must have heard me. "You ought to wear one yourself," she snaps back. "It would be easy to mis take you for an animal. Only a giraffe has a longer neck." "Is that so?" I told her. But that night, after we'd made camp, and I heard her snoring like the Spirit of St. Louis in her tent, I crept around stealthily and pinched that red coat, and burned it up. I never was a very good shot, anyway. THE next morning we were off again, across sun-baked plains that looked like Oregon or Oklahoma — only there weren't any filling stations. Africa is certainly a big place. But it needs development. They haven't enough fellows over there with live- wire ideas. Not enough peppy, hun dred-percent go-getters. Why, say, if I had my way, I'd get Krenn & Dato over there right away, and the first thing you knew, they'd have the whole of Africa staked off into own-your- own-home subdivisions, with little flags flying to show where the streets and the movie theatres were going to be. Yes, sir, that's what Africa needs — a couple of fellows with big vision, like Krenn 6s? Dato. If I may say so, after a rapid survey of the big business situ' ation (I sort of veldt it out, you know) the only enterprise in Africa is in the hands of big animal men who sell to circuses, a kind of Denn and Krato affair. I explained this to Mama-in' Statute. I laughed. *We'd been jogging along all day (the roads are terrible, I don't mind telling you — they haven't any Len Small over there!) when Mrs. B. began complaining: "What kind of a place is this, anyhow? I haven't seen an animal all day. A wild one, I mean," she added, with a look at me. I was going to pull some crack about, why didn't she try looking in a mirror — but what's the use? And then the guide spoke — for the first time since yesterday noon, when he'd asked somebody to pass the salt. He had quite a time getting his pipe out of his mouth (you'd have thought he was Frank Craven or Charley Collins), then he said: "Cheetah." "Where?" I jumped. (And it's no easy matter to jump — in a bouncing flivver.) He made a big gesture with his pipe, indicating — anywhere. "I'd like to see one." My wife spoke up. SO nothing would do, but we had to stop the cars, and all pile out. The colored boys halted, put down their bundles, and stretched out for a little nap, while I and the guide and Aggie and Mrs. B. set off into the brush, followed by a dosen or so gun-bearers. "I'd like to take back a stuffed cheetah to the Field Museum," I said. "Stan would certainly be pleased." "Who?" Mrs. B. wanted to know. "Stanley Field," I replied. "I know him well." "Yes," said she, "but does he know youV And she laughed that terrible laugh, like she always does at her own bum jokes. "I say!" The guide wrenched the pipe out of his mouth quickly. He had the look of a man who has been overtaken with an idea, and doesn't know what to do about it. "Laugh like that again, will you?" Mrs. B. cracked another one of her horrible jokes, and began laughing all over again. Quickly the guide motioned to us to spread out in a skirmish line, gun-bearers in readiness. Mrs. B., who didn't know what it was all about, kept right- on laughing. Suddenly out of the brush popped an animal that looked like a leopard, and started for Mrs. B. Mrs. B. stopped laughing abruptly. Aggie screamed: "Look out, Momma!" And just as the guide raised his rifle, the cheetah leaped. "Well, of all things!" gasped Mrs. B. And with a swing of her powerful left, she socked that cheetah right on the nose. It fell dead. Honestly, I felt sorry for it. There was a poor, dumb animal that had probably never harmed anybody in its life. "The nerve of that brute," muttered Mrs. B. "Getting fresh with me!" Then she turned to our guide. "By the way," she said, "what was the idea of having me laugh?" Our guide removed his pipe with difficulty. (That fellow hated to lose even a couple of puffs!) "Cheetah," he observed, "are very wary. Only prey on certain game. Thought we might raise one . . . ." "Using me for a decoy, eh?" snapped Mrs. B. "That poor cheetah," I spoke up, "heard you laughing, and thought lunch was ready. You know, Momma, they're particularly fond of hyenas!" Well, sir, the look on her face! I haven't laughed so hard since the time she fell downstairs and broke three ribs. But she had her revenge the next day. (to be continued) . Ed Herndon, manager of the Lyric pic ture show, was severely burned last Monday when he accidentally took hold of a hot wife in the operating booth. It seems that something went wrong with things in the booth and Ed tried to fix it up. — Haw\insville (Idaho) Tribune. Shocking. TWEGWICAGQAN 17 CMICAGOANJ" FRANK MERRIWELL'S exploits at Yale satisfied most of our adolescent standards of athletic, social and scholastic excellence but one grows older and doesn't expect to meet Merri- well. However, after reviewing the career of Robert A. Gardner at Yale and since, he approaches pretty nearly the incomparable Frank of fiction. Although sixteen years out and the father of three children, as well as being a successful Chicago business man, there's still something collegiate (in the genuine, not the College Humor, sense) about Bob Gardner. Perhaps it's because he refuses to grow old and lose his figure. Or because he has continued to be one of the coun try's best amateur athletes and one of the world's premier golfers. His re' serve, in physical strength as well as in manner, remains and his friends and admirers are everywhere. Gardner is a reticent person. But his friends like to tell of his accom plishments. And he has been one of Chicago's better advertisements, espe cially in England. He is, indeed, that increasingly rare person, the genuine and wholehearted amateur athlete. He refuses to accept even a golf ball as a prise. TWICE holder of the national amateur title, twice runner-up in the event and nearly always among the last four or eight bracketeers, Gardner is perhaps best known for his captaincy of Walker Cup teams. He led the all- American stars against the best British golfers four times and won three vic tories for Uncle Sam. Harold Hilton, famous British golfer and editor, wrote in 1923: "Bob Gardner is the nemesis of British golfers — but we like him so well that we don't mind." Robert is the son of Henry A. Gard ner. He was born in Hinsdale in 1890. When Dewey was sinking his shots un erringly in Spanish gunboats, Bob was taking up golf. History doesn't say that young Gardner was sickly, like Robert Tyre Jones, but he certainly took to the game. Under the tutorship of the old time Pro, Jock Adams, the boy developed fast and at 12 years his handicap was only 18. Three years later it was six, and he's been playing from scratch for a long time now. Merriwell to the Pin By DICK SMITH Robert A. Gardner YOUNG BOB first attracted out side attention when he defeated Albert Seckel, Jr., of Riverside in a junior tournament. Albert was later to shine in golf's bright firmament, too. Meanwhile Bob went to Lyons Town ship High school and then to Andover Academy, and in 1908 to Yale. At Yale he set a world's record in the pole vault. This was in 1912, his senior year, and he mounted to 1 3 feet one inch. The mark stood only a week, but it was a real leap in that era. He was captain of the freshman track team and as a freshman, too, he won fame by defeating H. Chandler Egan (1909) 4 and 3 for the national amateur title. At the same time he was a tenor on the Yale Glee club and led the Junior Prom. He was voted the most versatile student at Yale! He married Miss Katherine Keep in 1916, but the next year we find him leaving his young wife, his start in business and his golf. Gardner was too much of a sportsman to miss the Big Game. At the armistice he was a lieutenant overseas. But golf is Bob Gardner's chief dc light. In 1915 he won the National Amateur again and in 1916 lost to Chick Evans in a final round that has never been forgotten by Chicagoans. He lost out early in 1919, matched against Bobby Jones. But in 1921 he played Jess Guilford right down to the finals. His team's great victory in 1923, winning the Walker Cup matches 6Yi to 5 J/2, drew international ap plause but didn't fluster Gardner. His sportsmanship as well as his play drew commendation from British players, press and public. We all know how the English feel about victorious Yankee visitors in sport — but Bob Gardner of Chicago measured up very well. The young lords found their social equal, and he was from the mid dle west! LAST year, when the British stars m came to Garden City, L. I., Gard ner again headed the Americans. This year the honor goes to Bobby Jones, who well deserves it, but many a Chi' cago golfer will sigh and wish that Bob Gardner could lead our golfers at Chi cago Golf Club, the club where he defeated Egan 19 years ago. Robert A. Gardner has been a dc voted supporter of the Chicago Dis trict Golf Association for many years. He served as its president four times (1923-27) and is always active in its councils. He was a vice-president of the United States Golf Association from 1921 to 1925. Yet in 1926 we find this same Bob Gardner, tall and straight, brown eyes in a deeply tanned, pleasant countenance, winning (with Howard Linn) the national racquets doubles championship. Rac quets, we are told, is a young man's game. The Gardners and their children, Mary, Robert, Jr., and Henry Keep Gardner, live in Lake Forest. So Bob belongs to Onwentsia and Shore Acres. But old Hinsdale always call him her own and he has a life membership in that country club. He is active in the University Club too. In eleven years more Bob Gardner will be eligible to belong to the Illi nois Senior golfers. . . . and the stars of that body are beginning to fear him now. For he's likely to break eighty at eighty. 18 TI4E CHICAGOAN Cable Comment AMERICAN visitors to London k during the past week were as sured by the true Londoner who always loves his city that the good weather which has prevailed is just to show what London can do if it is in the mood. The absence of rain and fog is pointed to with pride and an "I-told- you-so" gesture that is inimitable; but, in the meantime fog is so dense in the channel that a British warship rams and sinks a Greek freighter. The English spring being much earlier than the American, the seaside resorts are now beckoning with lurid posters, and the railway companies are advertising reduced fares. By way of an innovation, the Royal Mint has just released new coins which on one side have departed from the traditional coat-of-arms to be replaced by a branch of oak with acorns which design apparently has no beginning and no end; this in silver only, which has caused many sage Londoners to com ment that they reminded them of the silver coins during the war which turned yellow after two weeks use. i A TITTER in literary circles was caused the other day when Mr. G. K. Chesterton forsook his profound dithyrambs on religion to comment that art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere. The august jury of the Royal Academy refused to be di- Nice teeth" verted by these tactics however and are still accepting sparingly and reject ing with a lavish hand the works of English and even foreign artists. Ac cording to this same body of men who issue le dernier cri on art and things pertaining to art, the late Charles Sims' allegorical paintings of the wonderings of the soul "are easily the most sensa tional and at the same time the most impressive of this year's Academy." Totally irrelevant to Mr. Chester ton's remark but serving to show the opposite trend of public opinion in London was the declaration of Mr. Prebendary Gough that the world is suffering from admirable people. OUR dramatic arbiters were very lamely enthusiastic over Mr. Ziegfeld's extravaganza "Show Boat" which opened last Saturday evening. Credit was given to Paul Robeson, colored impresario, imported specially for the London production, and to Miss Ferber, the author of the book, but notably lacking for members of the cast (an English one), Oscar Hammerstein II and Florenz; Ziegfeld. What appears to be the storm-center of international complications in mat ters theatrical is what is referred to as "The Alden Gay Case" in which the Minister of Labor here and the Actors' Equity Association are involved. In retaliation for the Labor Minister's action in forbidding Miss Alden Gay, an American actress from appearing in a London production, Equity in New York passed a series of resolutions directed against "alien" actors, which since, because of a common language the English interpret as meaning '"British." As a result of Equity's action British actors now face deporta tion from America after the particular play for which they were imported is withdrawn. Altogether it is the opinion that it is the British who seem rather silly in this affair, as the right is conceded to Equity to make what ever rules they see fit, although as Mr. St. John Ervine of the Sunday Ob server feels, Equity should have acted on more tangible grounds than on Miss Gay's case, whose name he says "con veyed nothing to my mind in the the atrical world." The British Minister of Labor has shown so far no indication of a change of mind so it is the British who have come off very poorly in the matter. — E. S. KENNEDY. THE CHICAGOAN 19 A Civic Opera A GREAT lyric drama designed to help raise the burden of deficit from the purses of Civic Opera guaran tors, and at the same time silence the hue and cry for an opera in (apologies to the Mayor) English, awaits compo sition by some genius with ability to capture the characteristics of Chicago, setting them down in a manner appro priate to the subject. Paris, Madrid, Berlin, Florence and other European locales carry not a bit more inspiration for one gifted with the talents of the muses than Chicago. city of cosmopolitan aspects and met ropolitan aspirations. The musical score is already written. The lyric but needs a continuity writer. Whoever has a spark of artistic sense sputtering in his soul can hear the mu sic of the Loop. Beyond compare are the beautiful serenades of auto horns Tones which have not yet been har monised are discovered in the sym phony of rumbles created by surface and elevated cars. Melody supreme sounds in the screeching brakes of mo tors brought to a sudden stop by changing traffic lights. Serenity is de picted in the gentle flap-flap of pigeon wings. For out-of-town visitors, ma chine gun volleys and bomb explosions could be easily adapted by a proficient trap drummer. Characters there are in plenty. Dra matic intensity unsurpassed lies in the basso profundo of traffic cop maledic tions. Plaintive and picturesque would be a packer's chorus lamenting the dis ability to utilize the squeal. (This number could be innovated by having it warbled in pig latin.) Striking be yond comparison would be a mob scene showing Chicago peasantry musically gargling chlorinated water. What better plot than the struggle of politics vs. the evil machinations of the present and past incumbents of Buckingham Palace? And what finer denouement than the execution of the villain, who all through the perform ance has been promiscuously dropping his "h's" all over the place, while in the background flocks of little smiling- faced school children lift their voices in the strains of "America First." Ah, what a grand climax! The possibilities of such a plan amaze one. Fame, fortune and whatnot await the potential Gershwin and Sandburg who collaborate on this remarkable composition. — david e. evans. The STAG E We Join the Gorillas By CHARLES COLLINS ITEM: "A Man's Man," which was crucified in New York, descended into storage, and in the third year rose again from the dead, ascended to an Englewood stock company, from which it came down-town to separate the sheep from the goats. Item : "Mixed Doubles," which was conjured up out of Winnetka and mysteriously revealed at the Goodman Theatre, where it evoked mutterings of perplexity and shrieks of dismay. Item: "A Companionate Mar riage," which was discovered in Evan ston, where it was regarded as "sig nificant," was kidnaped by gypsies and taken to the "loop," where it was declared to be insignificant. Item: "Sunny Days," which was "L'Homme de Cinq Heurs" in Paris four years ago; "The Kiss in a Taxi" in New York and Chicago three years ago; and which is now a song-and- dance frolic purged of its Gallic sins and half-shorn of its farcical mirth. Let us consider these temporary im provements in the theatrical sub division. Minority Re ft or t THERE has been much newspaper excitement over "A Man's Man," at the Adelphi. The play has been heralded like a lost gospel. It has been proclaimed The Truth, the burning and remorseless Truth, and the critics have asserted that those who do not accept it are heretics, dumb-bells, low brows and lack-wits. "A Man's Man" has been held up as a shibboleth, by means of which Homo Sapiens may be separated from the anthropoid apes who are great play-goers in this vicinity. After days of doubts and nights of prayer, with the cold sweat of a tre mendous crisis beading my brow, I hereby renounce my clan, tear off my totem, and kick myself out of the lodge. I cross the Rubicon, join the gorillas and take to the jungle. I DID NOT LIKE "A MAN'S MAN"! I found this hard, tight, bitter little play as cruel as an Algonquin journal ist's sneer at a split infinitive. Its tone, its spiritual quality, is that of the rural wit who throws stones at the village idiot. I found it as blunt and unpersuasive in its motives as a mediaeval allegory. It is, in fact, an allegory which has tried to run off the track into realism; and its triangle of characters, instead of pretending to possess individuality, should have been labelled and presented as Melville Boob, Mrs. Mary Pickford Boob and Charles W. Heavy. I found its vaunted veracity as flawed as the senile burblings of Trader Horn. There were agrarian idioms in the dialect of the New York cockneys. The habits of the Elks were described in terms of the Knights of Pythias. The drunken party was as gross as the fanatic imaginings of an Anti-Saloon League orator. The cen tral character, a young man intelligent enough to keep a set of books, was represented as an imbecile. The humor with which he, as a type of the Amer ican clerk caste, the submerged white- collar species, would have approached 20 THE CHICAGOAN A 7 couldn't help it Mother — it just fell down and broke' his pathetic ambitions was totally absent. "A Man's Man" is an ironic play. But irony has no privileged place in art. It goes wrong as often as senti mentality, and like it, requires a great soul for effective expression. The savage irony which Patrick Kearney has employed in this play demands a shining mark — kings, gods or devils. It is directed, however, in a fierce, uncom promising blast, upon two people who lack everything, even normal mental ity, for self-defense. Therein lies the cruelty, and for me the repellance, of "A Man's Man." It is as good a sport as drowning kittens. How Come? LET us turn now to the Goodman u Theatre, where for one misguided week "Mixed Doubles" was exposed like a Spartan child upon the lake front. Alas, poor Goodman! The commission of this gaffe at the close of a season of sound accomplishment and bright progress pained the encouragers and devotees of this institution. Our white hope has behaved like a palooka. Eheul Alackaday! For cryin' out loud! This was an amateur play in which the author waded in plot-material far beyond his depth. I had read the romance from which the plot was bor rowed — Henry Kitehell Webster's "Philopena" — but even with this ad vantage I could not follow the story in detail with any satisfactory degree of understanding. Clarity, that first essential of the theatre, was utterly lacking. Apparently something must be done at the Goodman to protect its play-reading authorities against new manuscripts. The fact that this com position was accepted as stage-worthy shakes one's faith in the organization. Fiction-plots are often impossible material for play-plots. The plot of Mr. Webster's "Philopena" is admi rable for the printed page; the plot of Mr. Laflin's "Mixed Doubles" is hope less for the footlights. This comes about, I think, because the mixing of the identical twin-sisters in "Philo pena" tends irresistibly toward farce in "Mixed Doubles," while the tone and intention of the story is never farcical. Research as to the cause of this play's production has revealed the fact that Mr. Laflin is the scion of an old Chi cago family. But "scion," at the Goodman, sounds like "sighin.' " Clap hands for Bess Kathryn John son, who plays the difficult dual role of Cynthia-Celia. She is an actress, and she rewards the eye. Suburban COMPANIONATE MAR RIAGE," the suburban play which ran away from Evanston for an adventure at the Cort, is a naive answer to Judge Lindsey's prattle about the most appropriate technique of mating among the younger set. It "A argues right back at the judge, and shows him a misguided case of his own theories to add to his horrible examples. It is a trusting little comedy, with a good heart. — This was exactly my de scription of "Abie's Irish Rose," which may be a good omen. But I fear it won't be long now before the long, sinister scenery-tumbrils drive up the alley to the stage-door. Betty Linley, an extremely decora- tive actress, plays the companionate bride crisply; Joan Peers, as an ingenue sister, promises to make a career for herself; and Mildred Booth is expert as a comic-relief maid. A HAPPIER theme is to be found at the Four Cohans, where "Sunny Days" offers buoyant musical comedy diversion. This is the real thing. This is a show in spring-time mood. And here are players who re' ward the customers: Jeannette Mac Donald, swift of foot, bright of smile, clear of voice; Frank Mclntyre, rotund of paunch and briskly humorous; Lynne Overman, fantastically casual and sanely goofy; Carl Randall, one of our best dancing young men; and Billy B. Van, absent for years and now re storing our faith in the passing genera' tion of eccentric comedians. That might be called an all-star cast. Add to it Audrey Maple, Rosalie Claire and Peggy Cornell, and you have an eyeful. The frolic has been staged with the fine decorative quality which distuv guished Hazzard Short's regime as revue-master at the Music Box. The score successfully remembers many a song-hit. Poetic Acceptances R. Stanley Pilver, the Column Trioleteer, "An Ardent Admirer of James G. Blaine," "The Milwaukee Buttercup' and "Tlorte d'Stanley,'' Accents an Invitation from the Conductor to Sit at the Speakers' Table for the Annual Column Banquet Oh, Sir, I thank you for your offer; You're very kind to think of me. I'll have a brand new verse to proffer, — Yes, Sir, I thank you for your offer. Perchance the chance will fill my coffer With checks from editors, you see. Oh, Sir, I thank you for your offer; You're very kind to think of me. — DONALD PLANT. THE CHICAGOAN 21 Pictorially Present Gloria Swanson in "Sadie Thompson" as Sadie Thompson in "Rain," an interesting adaptation discussed in an adjacent column. (See it.) Norma Shearer in "The Actress" which is "Trelawney of the Wells" and very well picturizied at that. (See it.) Rod LaRocque in "Hold 'Em Yale" which is "Brown of Harvard" with a dash of the Argentine and some funny captions. (Debatable.) Conrad Nagel in "Glorious Betsy" who is Dolores Costello. They speak Vita- phonically at intervals but the picture is quite good. (Worth a matinee.) Eleanor Boardman in "Diamond Hand cuffs," which consists of three stories and unfolds an old idea brightly. (If idle.) Victor McLaglen in "Hangman's House," fighting for right in the infrequent Ire land of good horses and villains who wear stock-ties. (Yes.) William Boyd in "Skyscraper," a low comedy of high places and workmen who possess prodigious wit. (Sue Carol is to be seen in it.) Emil Jannings in "The Street of Sin" but surely no fault of his. ^No.) Lon Chaney in "Laugh, Clown, Laugh" and a picture! (By all means.) Gary Cooper in "The Legion of the Condemned," made of remnants from "Wings" and better than that. (Go.) Richard Dix in "Easy Come, Easy Go," a sort of comedy but not the sort for Dix. (No.) Irene Rich in "Powder My Back," a familiar story filmed with unfamiliar skill. (Perhaps.) Dorothy Mackaill in "Lady Be Good" with Jack Mulhall and altogether very comic in a broad way. (If depressed.) Gilda Gray in "The Devil Dancer" chiefly because she dances. (If pressed.) Richard Barthelmess in "The Little Shepherd of Kingdom Come" and quite at home. (If you care for these things.) Pola Negri in "Three Sinners" of which she is the least. (If you have despaired of seeing her in Continental things.) H. B. Warner in "Sorrell and Son" and first, second or third among the three best pictures in town. (Without fail.) King Vidor not in but responsible for "The Crowd," which is a great responsibility. (If down on your luck.) Marion Davies in "The Patsy" and fun nier — as well as better — than in anything prior. (Certainly.) Adolphe Menjou in "A Night of Mystery" but don't tell anyone. (By no means.) Harold Lloyd in "Speedy" at top pitch. (Don't miss it.) William Haines in "The Smart Set" and smart Aleck. (Miss it.) Lowell Sherman in "Dressed to Kill," best of the crook plays. (Yes, indeed.) Phyllis Haver in "Chicago" and cor rectly so. (Okay.) Mary Pickford in "My Best Girl" and yours, too. (Absolutely.) Milton Sills in "Burning Daylight" with his shirt on. (Possibly.) George Bancroft in "The Showdown" which is better "Rain" than "Sadie Thompson." (Positively.) We CINEMA Entertainment Under a Bushel By WILLIAM R. WEAVER IT has the aspects of a game. You go to see Norma Shearer in "The Actress" and find her in "Trelawney of the Wells." Rod LaRocque is ad vertised as appearing in "Hold 'Em Yale" and he is "Brown of Harvard." To the United Artists, then, where Glona Swanson in "Sadie Thompson" is discovered to be Sadie Thompson in "Rain" — but you're pre pared for this. A newsreel showing Calvin Coolidge as President Coolidge of the United States is pleasant in con trast. I have no idea why "Trelawney of the Wells" became "The Actress" — unless Hollywood feared she might be misconstrued as having some connec tion with oil — for it is an excellent screening. Miss Shearer is best against a substantial background. Here she has the aid of competent associates and un usually accurate production. No doubt this is the current photoplay to see first. Adequate reason for swinging Mr. LaRocque's allegiance from Crimson to Blue exists in the priority of Mr. Haines' "Brown of Harvard," and someone was thoughtful enough to af ford additional justification by shorten ing the ending, brightening the dia logue and giving the heroic halfback the Argentine for his practice field. The picture is very funny in spots. "Sadie Thompson" could not be billed as "Rain" for so many publicized reasons that the real one need not be added. As the lively lady in question — and she is in question, even in the purified picturization — Miss Swanson has her best chance of recent years. Raoul Walsh, directing the picture with his left hand while enacting the manly Marine with his right, is the proper sort. Too bad about Lionel Barrymore's performance of the psalm- singing so and so, but a really veracious representation of the professional re former would have been eliminated by the censors in professional courtesy. The net production satisfies. c ONRAD NAGEL, whose voice has brought him sudden promi nence in Vita- phonic pic tures, is the principal per- former in "Glorious Betsy." Do lores Costello, whose voice is not the reason Hollywood visitors write . letters home, supplies the responses. Operatic tenors disguised as couriers from Napoleon Bonaparte (the picture is about his brother) break into song now and then, too. In spite of which, the picture is unusual enough and pretty enough to be quite inter esting. "~THE STREET OF SIN" had * been completed when The Chi' cago Tribune began letting Chicago sunshine into London's slums, but the effect is the same. After watching Mr. Jannings' friends and neighbors plod the titular thoroughfare for seven or eight reels, in that ponderous Jannings manner that becomes screamingly funny when it ceases to be portentous, the case for the Tribune is made. Then, as if in reprisal, the bobbies sud denly sprout machine guns and enact a raid staged in relentless conformity with the AP dispatches datelined Chi cago. Jannings dies, understandably enough. THE Ireland of "Hangman's House" is the Ireland of fine horses, sleek scoundrels and haunted castles. The story builds a tremendous interest in this charming scene and touches off, at just the right moment, a good old- fashioned fire-ending. Victor McLag' len is the fighting Celt of the picture but doesn't get any really satisfying action. w ILLIAM BOYD is the star of "Skyscraper" but Sue Carol 22 TI4ECUICAGOAN Inferiority Complex GLORIA SWANSON does with a flip of the hip in "Sadie Thomp son" what Jeanne Eagels did with what must have been a slip of the lip in "Rain," Mr. Somerset Maugham's perduring papyrus upon Pago Pago and people. (A review appears on page 21.) is the center of interest. It's a comic story about men who build big build ings while talking like Moran and Mack. Miss Carol, of this place, is kind to tired eyes. D IAMOND HANDCUFFS" fea tures a diamond of great value. Eleanor Boardman, Lawrence Grey, Sam Hardy and others are good in sup port. An old idea, and gory, but brightly done. HOLLYWOOD has taken the re form problem by both horns. "The Enemy" is a peace picture show ing the horrors of war and doing it so dully as to lend that institution at least the allure of animation. "The Escape" proves, plainly enough so that there can be uncertainity in no one's mind, that a young man may drink as much of anything as he can get and still — by the simple expedient of quitting — win the gal. Both pictures would have been popular in 1908. "LJONOR BOUND," is a highly I 1 depressing treatise against con vict labor. BAD news is that more and more pictures are to speak right out in meetin'. A curious and cautiously con cealed School of Elocution has been opened — in the sense that a speakeasy may be said to have been opened — and a class of Hollywood's most mil lionaire actors is learning to say "Na-o-u" for "No." The second in fancy promises to be more deadly than the first. Diagram HAS it ever occurred to you that you are capable of the greater things in life? Did it ever strike you that you would like to sell bananas? Would you like to have a push cart that you could call your own? Most men have, at some period of their lives or other, the secret desire to own a push cart. Mere sense of in feriority prevents them. Not that they are incapable. It is in them if they want to. It is in any man's blood. We are a race of pushcarters. We need the go, the push. Supposing you were president of the First National bank and the oppor tunity arose, through political influ ence, to obtain a job as a street car motorman. Yet you balked. You loitered in the path of glory and suc cess. It was your nature. Your inferiority complex whispered, "I can't. I can't do it. I'm not good enough. I haven't — I haven't — " Your friends implore you. Senator Deneen sends you a forceful letter asking you for the good of the party to accept the job. Your wife hounds you. The president of the street car company calls on you personally. It is of no avail. You just haven't. YOUR name does not go down in the books as the man who did IT. You are not cheered on the streets as you go by. Girl scouts do not stop and "Hurrah" you. They do not have any banners floating over your house. Whistles do not blow as you put your car in your garage. Millions of paper bits do not blow down from the offices as you pass. People do not have to stand in line to shake your hand. When you die your name will not appear on the headlines. You are not the man. You have not done IT. Men with inferiority complexes do not discover the Square of Libra. They do not know the Hungarian debt settlement. They cannot recite the first ten stanzas of "Hiawatha." They spertd their lives hiding in a clothes closet. You cannot succeed in life by hiding in a clothes closet. Some day you will want to go to jail. You will be unable. It is only clever men that know how to go to jail. You have to be smart. You have to succeed in life to be able to go to jail. You do not find the ordinary man in such places. It is the superior TI4ECI4ICAGOAN man, the acclaimed man. ON the other hand, though, if you are not quick you might have to go to jail whether you want to or not. It is only intelligent men that do not go to jail when they don't want to. You are not considered intelligent. You may be but you cannot prove it. You will be taken to the Desplaines street police station. You do not find the ordinary man in such places. It is only the inferior, the unacclaimed that go to the Desplaines street station. You are doomed. You will spend years behind the bars without a re lapse. The governor will not pardon you. You shot your wife but you did not think you were good enough to kill her. Besides you did not vote for him. If you had killed her you would have been pardoned. You are doomed and as you peek moodily through the bars you will remember the words of the poet who said: Out of your cage! Come out of your cage And ta\e your soul on a pilgrimage! — HARRY BERNSTEIN. Justice With Reason ON a dull Sunday afternoon, the inhabitants of a little town in the vicinity of our state-capital, Springfield, were aroused by the antics of an un known automobilist who was rapidly and recklessly passing by groups of this God-fearing citizenry. The village cop, a member of one of these bands of intelligentzia, squinted at the disappear ing car, shifted his quid of tobacco, and grunted: "He ain't no friend of the Governor's — his number's too high." A moment later the cop and his Harley- Davidson were traveling in the direc tion of the lawless motorist. Thirty-five minutes later the autoist ¦was standing before the Justice of the Peace, who had just uttered the awe-in spiring words: "Twenty-five dollars, and costs." "But, your honor," protested the cul prit, "I am a Chicago policeman." The judge's face became a fiery red. "Ignorance of the law is no excuse!" he bellowed; and when the fine was tremblingly paid he relit his dirty brown corn-cob and proceeded to a rear room where a checker game had lately been interrupted. — DELLA ROMA. Woe (jolfmore^ fines! hotel on loveliest shore of Lake Michigan L I HE Golfmore fronts on a broad -Z stretch of sandy beach in the beauti ful wooded dune country, near the south' em end of Lake Michigan, 62 miles from Chicago. Golf [two excellent courses] a canter or stroll over glorious dune trails, tennis, a dip in the surf, a dance at even' ing to the music of a famous ten-piece orchestra, and many other diversions pass time all too quickly. Motor tourists stop for a meal and stay for weeks in this en' trancing environment. Delicious meals with fresh vegetables and fruits in season, from nearby Michigan farms and orchards. Extra large bedrooms, dressing room and private bath [meals included] $8 to $10 a day, single; $13, $15, $17, $18, double. Special weekly rates and rates for organisation outings and for conventions on request. Michigan Central Railroad or Motor Bus Lines to Grand Beach; or South Shore Electric to Michigan City, Indiana, where private motor coaches meet arriving guests. Broad highways, from all directions, to The Golfmore. Further details with illustrations on request. CHICAGO E. Chicago Golfmore kJ hotel GRAND BEACH MICHIGAN Fireproof— Accommodations for 500 -> J. E. BYRNES, Manager 24 TWQ CHICAGOAN- / Beauty and the Bores After a season of plays that ma\e one decide to stay home and read Shaw, of "celebrities" even leu clever than their press agents, of concerts modeled not on the "music of the spheres," but of the industries — no wonder faces grow old before their time! There is but one way to spare beauty the penalty of boredom — the sane, scien' tific technique of HELENA RUBINSTEIN, foremost beauty scientist of the world. Being active, the Valaze Beauty Treatments and Preparations created by HELENA RUBINSTEIN, offer the only really intelKgent means of deal' ing with Skin-Fatigue, the arch enemy of youth! To assure the complete success of your beauty's ensemble, you must visit Helena Rubinstein's exotic new Maison de Beaute Valaze — dedicated to the harmonious cultivation of face, figure, hair and hands. Expert advice on self-treatments and the art of make-up, without obligation. "CUBIST" Helena Rubinstein's newest lipsttc^ sensation It is a lipstick typically Rubinstein, which means, as all true connoisseurs of such things know, perfect becom- ingness, unquestioned purity and ex cellence. And in a case that simply breathes Paris — a chic, modernistic oblong, Black or Golden, perfectly appropriate to every occasion from dawn to dawn! 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Valaxe Beauty Preparation* and Cos metics are dispensed by trained and competent advisers at all the better shops. 670 N. Michigan Avenue Chicago. Telephone for Appointment — Whitehall 4242 8 East ?7th Street, New York Paris London Philadelphia Boston Detroit Newark MU/ICAL NOTE/ Pianissimo Until Ravinia By ROBERT POLLAK THE musical season fades away into a near oblivion of conserva' tory commencement recitals. The an' nual crop of thumping, scraping and bellowing virtuosi of tomorrow is re leased upon a none too anxious world where the pickings are lean and the radio is king. As this issue goes to press plans are under way for a bigger and better season at Ravinia, and Dean Lutkin's quirist' ers have inaugurated the annual North Shore Festival with Verdi's "Manzoni" Requiem. The white and gracious Dean has brought his chorus to a high degree of perfection and suavity, but it would have been better, methinks, to let this operatically undignified work of Verdi lie moribund in the ware house of rightly forgotten church' musics. It seems strange that, with the whole literature of Bach, Handel, Orlando de Lasso and Palestrina to pick from, the Dean should have chosen the Requiem for another hear' ing. It lacks in almost every detail the purity and fine soberness of the best church music and is shot through with the hot and perfumed aroma of "Aida" and even "II Trovatore." The rest of the Evanston Festival programs, at this writing unheard, represent a collection of hackneyed compositions that would elicit jeers from a pop-concert audience. Among the fresh tid'bits that will be ladled out by orchestra and soloists are "Thou Charming Bird" from "The Pearl of Brazil," "The Song of India" and the Second Rhapsody of Liszt. Patten Gymnasium is such a beautiful place, too. The auditorium is so green and festive, the singers so cheerful, the campus so gay and the audience so pleasant. The surroundings are per' feet for the adequate presentation of musical Meisterwerke. And yet as the spring rolls around an even poorer than usual musical fare is dished up. It is as disconcerting as if you were sud' denly invited to a performance of "Ladies Night in a Turkish Bath" at the Guild Theatre. YOUR re porter, recently back from New York, Bethle hem, Pa., and Hackensack, found in the East, too, the tag-ends of the musical season. The last of the Aaron Copeland-Sessions recitals re vealed some weird and futile samples of modern composition. What stood out most on the program were pieces by Roger Sessions and by our own Ruth Crawford, pupil of Adolph Weidig, who has been represented on the programs of Chicago's austerely modern organizations like the local chapter of the International Guild for Contemporary Music. The Cleveland Symphony under the direction of Sokoloff appeared jointly with the Lewisohn dancers and consid erable angular scenery in a dance and symphonic synchronization of Ernest Bloch's "Israel." The results were only fortunate for the ear because Bloch writes and is writing great music, and nobody's unauthorized attempt to mix his composition with terpsichore and scenic investiture could spoil its great ness. Let us descend a thousand flights to mention Dick Rodgers' score for "The Connecticut Yankee," the Broadway musical version of Mark Twain's story. It stamps Mr. Rodgers, who, only four years ago was writing tunes for the Columbia University shows, as a worthy fellow of such veterans as Kern and Gershwin. That same Kern, who might be described as the Dean of Dainty Ditties, has added to a long line of successes with the score for "Show- Boat." There is a Schubertian elo quence and simplicity about Jerome Kern at his best, and samples of his best are "Old Man River" and "Why Do I Love You." TI4ECWICAG0AN 25 THE Bach Festival at Bethlehem, Pa., is a successful experiment in glory. Half a century ago a young Moravian musical student named J. Frederick Wolle left Charley Schwab's village to study in Germany. He came back with a holy zeal for the composi' tion of Bach and organized a choral society which presented for the first time in America the St. John's Passion. In this society lay the germ of the present festival chorus of three hun' dred voices, some of whom have been singing the ecclesiastical compositions of the great Kantor for over twenty five years. The festival is an annual event. It took place this year on May 11 and 12 in the Packer Memorial Chapel on the Lehigh University campus. The trip to Bethlehem is like a pil grimage. On the first afternoon the festival is opened by the Moravian trombone choir which softly intones a chorale from the belfry of the church. It was in this manner that early Bethle- hemites greeted Ben Franklin on one of his inland jaunts. The audience files in and waits for the appearance of Dr. Wolle. He appears, shriveled, kindly and bent, in an expectant silence and then, without baton, pre cipitates choir and symphony orchestra into the beginning of the St. John's cantata. To hunt for adjectives for his chorus would be a waste of time. Technically impeccable, its members sing like fanatics at the behest of the vibrating hands of Bach's American representative on earth. And not a few of the twelve-hundred listeners weep unashamed at the ecstasy and pain of such greatness. It is a tradition in Bethlehem that the second day of the Festival be given over to the B minor Mass. Before the opening Kyrie an additional band of pilgrims has flocked into town. Some stand around the inner walls of the chapel and many hundreds more listen from outside on the campus. Dr Wolle uses no soloists in the Mass, but instead delegates each solo to an entire section of the choir. The result, in an imperfectly trained group of singers, would be miserable. But the Mass is the staff of life to these people and they can sing. The tender arias are handled perfectly and the additional volume gives the masterpiece a cumu lative effect that registers as an unfor gettable musical experience. £I4ICAG0AN 407 So. Dearborn Street Going awayt The Chicagoan will follow you — making its first fornightly arrival three weeks after notice — if you will fill in the ap pended form. (Name) (New address) (Old address) (Date of change) 26 TME CHICAGOAN BIdedSummerVhcafims A ermudA Only 2 Days fromNevrybrkJL M± Low, all-expense inclusive tours. Eight days $102 (up). Effective June 1st. Bermuda is delightful in sum mer. All outdoor sports are in full swing. The average summer temperature is only 77. Bathing is at its best. A trip to Bermuda, with its picturesque beauty and unique features will remain always a pleasant memory. Two sailings weekly by palatial new motorship "BERMUDA," 20,000 (tons gross) and S.S. "FORT VICTORIA." 7\ote: Bermuda is free from Hay Fever CANADIAN CRUISES 12 days, New York-Quebec via Halifax, N. S. A day each way at Halifax and two days at Quebec for sightseeing. S. S. "FORT ST. GEORGE" July 14 and 28, August 11 and 25. You sail along strikingly beau tiful St. Lawrence River, the Saguenay River, stop at Que bec (St. Anne de Beaupre) and Halifax for sightseeing. Smooth water, cool, invigor ating weather, interesting life aboard ship. Round trip — 12 days — #140 (up) One way to Quebec — #75 (up) For illustrated booklets write Furness Bermuda Line 307 No. Michigan Ave. Chicago 34 Whitehall St., New York or any authorized agent BOOK/ The Peefeul Vs. W yndhatn Lewis By SUSAN WILBUR IT is a rule of the nursery that no body may have any tapioca until everybody has finished his scrambled eggs. And it must be a good rule, for the publishers seem to be trying it too. None of us were allowed his "Beau Sabreur" until all of us had finished our "Beau Geste." And we have only just got our "But Gentlemen Marry Brunettes," when we are practically not hungry any more. A lot of things can happen in two and a half years to take anybody's ap petite. And when Edith Wharton, Arnold Bennett, James Stephens, H. L. Mencken, Rose Macaulay, Frances Newman, Hugh Walpole, Sheila Kaye- Smith, Padraic Colum, Elinor Wylie, Harriet Monroe, A. E. Housman, Joseph Hergesheimer, Burton Rascoe, Carl Van Vechten, Bishop Fiske, and Gilbert Frankau, particularly Gilbert Frankau, all make up their minds that a book is a classic, it is one of them. Another is when everybody in Lon don mistakes "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" for a true story, and decides that it's as short an opportunity as they're ever likely to have to read up on the American girl. ^ENTLEMEN PREFER V-J BLONDES" is also mentioned in Wyndham Lewis' "Time and West ern Man." In other words it is on the little list of the lord high executioner. It is very near the top. It is in the same chapter with Gertrude Stein, and Gertrude Stein is described as the re verse of patience sitting on a monu ment, namely, as a monument sitting upon patience. "In the beginning there was the time in the composition that naturally was in the composition but time in the composition comes now and this is what is now troubling every one the time in the composition is now a part of distribution and equilibration," says Miss Stein. "I am going to begin a diary again, because I have quite a little time on my hands, with nothing to do for quite a time," says Miss Loos. "I mean, in the first place I am full of ambitions and I think that prac tically every married girl ought to have a career if she is wealthy enough to have the home life carried on by the servants. Especially if a girl is married to a husband like Henry. Because Henry is quite a homebody and, if a girl was a homebody to, she would encounter him quite often," she adds. They are alike, yes, but they are also different, and Mr. Lewis sees that they are different: Miss Stein has "never had any unvirtuous and merce nary intentions of the kind besetting Miss Loos; she has never needed to be a best seller." However, the company of the con demned is not always bad company. Charlie Chaplin is there, too, and James Joyce, and Ezra Pound. Yes and Joseph Conrad— "the chocolate cream richness of Conrad." And anyway Lorelei had it coming to her. Why shouldn't Wyndham Lewis use her to point a moral in "Time and Western Man" when she herself has used her friend Dorothy to point a moral in "But Gentlemen Marry Brunettes." TWE CHICAGOAN 27 Paragraph Pastime "But Gentlemen Marry Brunettes," by Anita Loos. Intimately illustrated by Ralph Barton. (Boni and Liveright.) The biography of Lorelei's friend Dorothy, whom she describes as a girl who is not mental. Dorothy always thinks at lunch time about such things as food, even when she is at the Algon quin. And no sooner is a millionaire practically captured than she privately makes arrangements to marry a saxo phone player, a poor sixty-five dollar a week one. In other words it's just some more of "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes," but it really is some more. Dead Lovers Are Faithful Lovers, by Frances Newman. (Boni and Liveright.) Like "The Hard Boiled Virgin" this is a book which seems to have been written for the sake of the style it is written in. Why either of them should have been written in the style in which they are written is something that the critics have so far been unable to determine. The Living Buddha, by Paul Morand. Translated from the French by Madeleine Boyd. (Henry Holt and Co.) An im pressionistic demonstration of the fact that East is East and West is West, though the twain may occasionally con trive to meet, as for instance when an Eastern prince happens to be gone on motor cars and an experimental French count happens to know how to make them run. The Innocents of Paris, by C. E. Andrews. Illustrated by David Snod- grass. (D. Appleton and Co.) A series of Paris Nights in the sense in which nights have also been called Limehouse or Arabian, wherein the Flea Market, the Bals Musettes, the book stalls, the antique shops, the central markets, the flower stalls, and other quaint bits of Paris come to life not in terms of the tourist but in terms of the people who belong there. Time and Western Man, by Wyndham Lewis. (Harpers.) Mr. Lewis was brought up as a graphic artist and likes his world to stay put. Relativity and the time philosophies of men like White head and Spengler annoy him, and so this formidable book is an effort to counteract the contemporary rocking of the cosmic boat on the part of certain modernists. Children and Fools, by Thomas Mann. (Knopf.) A collection of short stories by the author of "The Magic Mountain" representing both early and late work. They are notable for psychological in sight — often used in situations that are, from the point of view of what happens, trivial. Maya: A play in a Prologue and Nine Scenes and an Epilogue, by Simon Gantillon, translated by Lewis Galantiere. (The Actor-Managers, Inc.) This is an allegorical play of the eternal woman, and her gift to man of rest and illusion. The play was produced in New York but the police did not like it because the woman was not only eternal but in this embodi ment of her was practising a profession that is also, apparently, eternal. The Eternal Moment, by E. M. Forster. (Harcourt.) Mr. Forster views with regret and alarm our tendency toward the mechanization of life, and although he calls these stories essays in fantasy, they are sometimes sermons as well. But the title story is as good as anything he has done — which is saying a lot. The Goat's Hoof, by Algernon Crofton. (Covici.) Mr. Crofton has observed that while the lady of an evening may acquire a squirrel coat, the "mudhen" who has no sex appeal is yet entrusted with an appreciable part of her husband's wealth in the form of jewels. Hence a number of gay tales whose morals form a guide to wavering women who have to live in a man's world — written by a kindly cynic who wishes them well. The Earth Upsets: The Story of the Earth's Motion, bv Chase S. Osborn. (Waverly Press.) The former governor of Michigan knows a lot about the earth — having hunted iron in its rocks for years — and he has the rare ability of writing scientific material in a very human way. We all know that the earth spins but he tells us of a number of other and more disconcerting movements in which it is indulging all the time — and he tries to account for them. The Siamese Cat: Story and Cuts by Leon Underwood. (Brentano's.) Leon Underwood, having illustrated a book or two for other people, decided to write a book himself that he could really illus trate. "The Siamese Cat" is, philosoph ically speaking, as profound as Alice in Wonderland. To My Razor Monday's blade cuts up my face, Tuesday's blade slips out of place, Wednesday's blade is rusty and broken, Thursday's blade looks like a war token, Friday's blade pulls like the devil, Saturday's blade is not quite level, But Sunday's blade is bright and keen, Because, after these metropolitan Saturday nights, I always sleep the whole day Sunday And therefore do not shave till Monday. — DON CLYDE. MICHELIN Tires and Tubes — the World's best now offers FREE TIRE SERVICE plus the privilege of a charge ac count at true wholesale prices. Also, you can arrange to secure a 1 year guarantee cer tificate with every Michelin you purchase here for regu lar pleasure car use. This gives you full insurance against blow-outs, cuts, bruises, and like road hazards. Only the super-quality of Michelins enable us to render these services. You'll get a new idea of what tire satis faction and economy can be. Auto Owner's Supply Co* 2115 Michigan Blvd. Telephones Calumet 3041-3275 28 TMECI4ICAG0AN JOURNALISTIC JOURNEY/ All the Conveniences of Home By FRANCIS C. COUGHLIN CALIFORNIA AVENUE seen to the south from 22nd street is a drab thoroughfare of small Polish store fronts and smaller Polish front yards. A street of thick'bodied men and women, and of many thin children with pale blonde hair and wood'smoke blue eyes. From a cross street comes the heady, surprising, gala sound of drums well beaten. A high school marching company stalks across Cali' fornia. Next, a playground, loud with six games of indoor ball and 20 games of tag. A little further along a very gilt and hence magnificent Virgin smiles under her glass case. And then, suddenly, the new Cook County criminal court building, domi' nant for a mile along California and portly in limestone and bronze. Like justice in theory, the structure is vast, learned in precedent and four square to the compass. Like justice in practice, it is solid as the facade of a policeman, with eight great bosses of brass around its imposing middle, each boss round as a button and showing the seal of Cook County topped by a sail' ing vessel of heraldic design. The new criminal court overshad' ows the city prison adjoining it on the south. A rambling Tudor lockup euphemistically titled The House of Correction. If one may judge from architectural styles and symbols Cook County law will henceforth be severe, abstract, stern in the Roman tradition and meticulously just, while city laws caper through execution with some thing of the genuine Tudor vehemence and alternate spaciousness about the process. This man probably knows more about the human skin than any one else in the world. He is Dr. Francois Debat, chief dermatologist of the Saint Antoine Hospital in Paris . . . creator of I N N O X A (PUT YOUR SKIN ON A MILK DIET) LAIT INNOXA is so easily applied that it needs no demonstration! Use it for a min ute or two, morning and night . . . your skin will find it strength giving, rejuvenating and cleansing Obtainable at leading stores everywhere 2.00 3.50 4.00 THE Roman tradition is somewhat alarmingly visible on the new building. High on each corner is en- graved S. P. Q. C. and the eagle standard of the legions above it, Sena' tus Populisque Quirites Cook County. The senate, the people and the knights of Cook County. Truth, Honor, Jus' tice and Liberty come in for mention on the building also. Behind is the new county jail — but that presently. Six stories up, just under the cornice, tall statues look west across the city. Moses is one figure. And Chicago. And what appears to be King Arthur. And what certainly is Justitia. And what may be Athena with her owl, though the bird is possibly an eagle — in which case it is America and not Athena. Having thought of the ClaS' sic unities, one vaguely hopes so. Directly behind the court building is the jail. But while the court is six tall stories high and boasts 14 mag' nificent marble courtrooms, the jail is a brief four stories, with 1,400 cells. Each cell five feet by eight, inclusive of a cot. One cell to one man is the present plan. The furnishings are not magnificent. They are, however, expen' sive. Iron work and lock work on the 1,400 individual cells take up an aston' ishing time. Each lock is controlled three ways. First, as an individual lock to be opened by the turnkey. Sec- ond, as a lock to be opened with all the other locks in the cell block from a central guard room. Third, as a lock which can be opened from the guard room while all other locks in the sec tion remain closed. Each cell block contains 39 cells, a central dining room, a shower room, and a guard cage at one end. Prison' ers may speak to their relatives and friends, not through the old style bars through which saws could be passed, TUECUICAGOAN 29 The Pearson Hotel, distinguished for its quiet air of refinement, is one block east of North Michigan Ave nue. While the Loop is quickly ac cessible by bus or taxi, many prefer the short walk. The Pearson con' sistently maintains the high standard that guards quality. The appoint' ments, furnishings, service and ad' dress are attractive to families ac customed to live well who wish to escape the obvious inconveniences of the more remote sections. Such families appreciate the opportunities provided for quicker social and business contacts. The PEARSON HOTEL 190 East Pearson Street Telephone Superior 8200 Special Monthly Rates Upon Application Daily Rate*. Single. $3.50 to $6.00; Double. $5.00 to $7.00 but through cleverly mitered sections of bullet proof glass. Here is a new thing. The cell floor is concrete un' derplated with machine proof steel. And cells do not open directly on the outside air. Instead, windows light a narrow corridor of cell sides. These windows, too, are barred. Outside, a twentythree foot wall remains as a final barrier should any inmate escape the cell house. Cook County's jail will be a safe jail, one anticipates. i FIRST floors of the four cell houses themselves are to be occupied by laundries and kitchens. Prisoners will work here. But that is all the labor required. A small yard for exercise and the tiny cells provide the inmate's only free space. For the rest he may enjoy complete idleness and meditation in his niche of the long gloomy tier where day is at best only a half light on steel and concrete. Coming into the air again, one is re lieved. White clothed plasterers make a cheerful clatter with lime and boards. A laborer or two whistles as he passes on some slow, grateful errand. Thus far the Court House and the jail have been building 14 months. Eight or nine months are still needed for com' pletion. Court, administration build' ing, wall, and man cages together will cost $7,500,000. A staggering though minute item in the cost of crime. Moreover, a foreman tells us, there are already caged men in the old county jail at Dearborn and Austin sufficient to fill the new prison and more before the old jail population is down to its normal figure. This normal figure, he explains, is the theoretical capacity of the old building. One thinks of the jammed cells at Austin street. A stone's throw away the House of Correction is silent in its spike walled park. It, too, is crowded to the limit. A negro leaves its steps and shuffles along California Avenue. He speaks of a friend immured. "Sho is a long time," he says, "a long time when you is in jail." He offers no explana' tion. He asks none. Instead we talk about the spring rain which seems im' minent, and the Cubs — skyrocket ball team — and the laborers digging in the fresh turf of the jail yard. It is poor conversation, but the negro seems thankful for company. He turns at the corner. Is gone. The street car is somehow swift, brave, free and joyous on its way to the loop. Twenty-one Thirty Lincoln Pjark West Even if Location were all — Twejity-One Thirty Lincoln Park West would be extraordinary • Entirely co-operative building possessing fea tures that are even more notable than its superb location. Here the own er may personally de sign his own apartment —here he is guaranteed that his assessments shall not exceed the es timated cost — here every apartment over looks the lake, park and city, here are rooms of adequate size, beautiful appointments and every known convenience and utility. Nothing has been overlooked, not even location — even if that were all — Twenty One Thirty would be most extraordinary. Six Rooms, 3 Baths, and Larger Purchase Prices $14,400, and higher Lincoln Park West Trust 2130 Lincoln -Park West Lincoln 8631 30 T14Q CHICAGOAN ALLERTON HOUSE To see it is to want to live there To live here is to be at home — when away from home! Michigan at Huron Chicago Extensive Comfortable Lounges Resident Women's Director Special Women's Elevators Fraternity Rooms Ball and Banquet Rooms Circulating Library Billiards Chess Cafeteria Athletic Exercise Rooms Allerton Glee Club in Main Dining Room Monday at 6:30 P. M. The World's Largest Indoor Golf Course "Three Clay Tennis Courts — Swimming — Ample Parking Facilities Adjoining" ALLERTON HOUSE WEEKLY RATES PER PERSON Singh • . $12.00 — $20.00 DoubU . . $8.00— $15.00 Transient • $2.50— $3.50 Daseriptira Leaflet en Request CHICAGO CLEVELAND NEW YORK The Chicagoenne The Modern Idea By ARGYE WILL AS I ply up and down the avenues i\ of commerce I often ponder the vast number of names attached to the articles that are bought and sold. At this moment you may be wearing a Jenny model of Lanvin green georgette crepe with accordion pleated ruffles and a Roman striped bow. You may be sitting in a Chippendale chair covered in French damask of Louis XV design. Some good names endure; others are as transient as chiffon stockings. The younger generation which caused heads to shake just after the war, is now adult and worrying about bringing up its own children in this jazz age. When the New York Central named its crack train the Twentieth Century it suggested something as new and swift and bright as a flash of lightning. I wonder if the name will be changed when date lines read — 2028. Perhaps trains themselves will be out of print then. Already airplanes seem to be catapulting us into the twenty-first cen- tury. So what of the present style which we call modern? All styles were mod' ern once. In 2228, perspective will make our setback buildings and sky scraper furniture look as early Ameri can as the Early American antiques we treasure today. Yet perhaps the name may stick. There has been a fin de siecle every hundred years since man learned how to count; but every body knows that the fin de siecle oc curred in the gay nineties of the nine teenth century. MEANWHILE we are getting more and more modern. I have not yet seen a completely modern cos tume or a completely modern house but either is easily within the reach of one who is willing to assemble it from a variety of sources. Spaldings have some new and very amusing clocks. Perhaps the dignified gentleman who waits on you beautifully will not call them modern, but they are certainly typical of this period. They are square and silver, thin but a little larger than the desk or traveling clock. Their dials are clear with forthright, legible num erals, and the flat silver frames are adorned with black enameled designs involving speeding roadsters, lazy lie- good old elizci Night after night, she has a har rowing time of it. Uncertainties, delays, and like as not an icy recep tion before she gets across. That's her job. Not so the alert theatre goer: i.e., the man who stops at a Couthoui, Inc.* stand for tickets. No uncer tainties, no delays, no icy reception at the box office for him. He is assured of excellent seats for reason ably priced tickets in ample time His theatre parties always go across. No job at all. The sensible thing to do. COUTHOUI For Tickets * The alert theatre goer can make his selection at a Couthoui, Inc.. stand at the Congress, Blackstone, Drake, La Salle, Mor rison, Stevens, Sherman and Seneca hotels. Or at the Hamilton, C. A. A., I. A. C, Union League, Standard and University Clubs. Camping Time Have you chosen the camp for your daughter? Frontenac — a small limited camp for girls — in the Thousand Is* lands. A summer of pleasure and health building: water sports, horseback, tennis, trips among the Islands, no mosquitoes, modern sanitation. Catalog Claire L. Loofbourrow 508 N. Oak Park Ave. 'Phone Euclid 2639 The Kennels of Hadisway Wire Haired FOX TERRIERS Puppies by the International Champion Barrington Bridegroom Price $75 and up Mr. and Mrs. OLIN P. KIRKPATRICK South County Line Road, Hinsdale, 111. Phone: Hinsdale 814 7WE CHICAGOAN 31 Rest and Read with a The Personal Heading Lamp The answer to the night read er's prayer. Clips on book cover. Lights both pages per fectly. Pages turn freely. Weighs 3 oz. Costs $3.00. Complete with standard bulb, 8 ft. rord and plug. Various finishes. On sale in Chicago at: Brent an os Marshall Field & Co Kroch's Bookstore Chas. A. Stevens & Bros. Mandel Brothers MELODELITE CORPORATION 132 Nassau St. New York IheALDffy^ ' yfitfibtoopenATivel 507 ALDINE AVE. NEAR SHERIDAN ROAD Just Twelve Minutes from your office — This Charming Home The Aldine is ideally located. Quite removed from all the unpleasantness of traffic con gestion and crowds, yet but twelve minutes by motor from the loop— of course you'll find these five and six room apart ments possess every desirable feature — and more — Plan to inspect them now. The Aldine is a 100% Co-op erative. Your own terms at reasonable prices. OMAN 8C LILIENTHAL Managers Tribune Tower Superior 2372 abeds, playful monkeys, serious men carrying huge golf clubs, and many other playful or solemn subjects. All are eight day clocks and some have alarms and luminous numerals and hands. In MandePs Foreign Shops, which are as nice and browsy as a friendly book store, there is an arresting dis play of jewelry that is called modern and lives up to the name. Designed in France, it must have had its in spiration in America, because it is as simple, as angular and as definite ill outline as 333 North Michigan Ave nue or the straight roads that space Grant Park into neat green rectangles. The set over which I lingered longest consisted of necklace, earrings and pin of overlapping silver slabs. The three pieces or any one of them should look lovely on a modern or merely modish afternoon dress. They may be bought separately and can be obtained also in gold. The most unusual brooch which I have ever seen comes from Fred M. Lund, Suite 50, 31 N. State Street: It is a rectangle with the corners lopped off. The stones are set to represent a most attractive seascape, with a canary diamond sun setting in a Ceylon sap phire sky and sending a path of yel low topaz across a sea of lapis lazuli. This picture is framed in baguette dia monds and mounted in platinum. In addition to other interesting designs, some fine stones and watches, Mr. Lund has also one of the best lines of courteous service to be found in Chi cago. A COMPARATIVE newcomer which causes even some of the traditionally tl40011 shops to suffer by comparison is operated at 163 E. Ohio Street by the Swedish Arts and Crafts Company. Here, in a setting that is rather like a modern, attractive mu seum, without any of the solemnity that attaches to that word, you may find the perfect piece of pewter, silver or pottery for the June wedding present, or, perhaps, the new desk or rug you've Offers complete service as decorator and furnisher to those interested m creating a modern interior- fURMlTURL bESIGHIMG ME.TALWORK IN THE. MODERN MANNER: *# IA55 Bon Voyage — That little act of thoughtfulness — flowers in the stateroom or drawingroom, distinctly individ ual because of the care and discrimination characterizing Wienhoeber service. Flowers cabled to all parts of the world Ernst Wienhoeber Co. No. 22 East Elm St. Superior 0609 914 No. Michigan Ave. Superior 0045 fik^ Four Piece Golf Suits Tailored by Scheyer. Golf Accessories Straw Hats Sailors Panamas Leghorns Sundell -Thornton Jackson Blvd. at Wabash Kimball Bldg. TEL. HARBISON 2680 32 imCUICAGOAN the finest mineral water on earth Mountain Valley Water (from Hot Springs, Ark.) has for more than seventy years been famous as a valu able aid in the treatment of many internal disorders. Ask your physi cian. Moreover as a table water of un usual distinction it is served on finely appointed tables in the better homes, clubs, ho tels and on crack trains. Why not inquire now? Mountain Valley Water Co. 739 W. Jackson Blvd. Monroe 5460 North Shore Branch, Eranston Ph. Creenleaf 4777 444 . ELMONT AVE. 100% CCX)PERATIVE Just Around the Corner from Everything You Wish In the heart of an exclusive section, removed from noise and crowds, yet with the Park, Lake and transportation quickly available, these beau tiful apartments, consisting of six rooms, three baths, en closed sleeping porch and ¦ breakfast room, offer a .most , desirable home. You certainly should inspect them now. Your own terms at reasonable prices OMAN 8c LILIENTHAL Managers Tribune Tower : Superior 2372 been wanting for your own. I was particularly fascinated by the pewter' framed mirrors, from the long stemmed hand mirror to the every narrow pier glass on an ebony base. The modern tendency is apparent in nearly every thing but is more tempered than in most American products, making the Swedish articles suitable for either the radically new or the conservative home. The collection (one doesn't think of the Swedish Arts and Crafts "stock") of Orrefors glass contains a number of ex' quisite pieces designed by Edward Hald, a recent visitor in Chicago. ANENT visitors, I have been won' l dering if being the wife of a transatlantic flyer entitles a woman to be, ex'officio, a fashion authority. Is there, for example, a connection be' tween the recent visit of Mesdames Koehl and Fitsmaurice and the popu' larity of all'blue costumes such as these ladies wore during their drives up and down our boulevards? Probably not. It is just as likely that women's re' vived interest in navy blue is due to the new blue slippers that are sup' posed to be an accessory and are really a raison d'etre. The blue kid pumps with enameled buckles that are being shown by Stevens are attractive enough to tempt anyone to build an ensemble above them. Lighter shades of blue ap' pear in this season's version of those comfortable things known as Deauville sandals. These, you remember, are the soft, hand woven sports shoes that are deliciously light and cool for summer. Stevens has a variety of new styles and colors in these. Another modern note in sports attire is struck at Taylors. Or perhaps it is a staff rather than a note, because there is a suggestion of nice clean music paper in the white dress with straight black stripes on the deep vshaped bertha and forming a band around the skirt. It is a two'piece dress, sleeve' less, with lots of fullness in the pleats of the skirt. A little further up the avenue I picked up another gift idea which is new and novel if not "modern." The Abt Gift Shop has place card hold' ers in Dresden china floral designs. The dainty, beautifully colored flowers which couldn't have come from any place except the potteries of Dresden or Meisen are a charming decoration for a dinner table. They won't tip over. Mississauga Lodge Limited In the heart of the beautiful On- tario Lakes Region — C a nada' s Scenic Province M ISSISSAUGA Lodge faces Mis sissauga Lake, one of the chain of blue wa ter lakes in the Ka wartha district — lakes abounding i n small mouth bass and trout. Accommodations are afforded in either the main lodge or bunga lows, the latter com prising three bed rooms, living room and spacious veranda. Both the lodge and bunga lows enjoy southern exposure. Space of necessity is limited. Write for further particulars to Mississauga Lodge Limited Sept. IS to June IS Executive Office* 15 Wellington St., E. Toronto, Canada June 15 to Sept. 15 Halls Bridge P. O. Ontario Canada Importers Exceptional Values in Spring Dresses $45 and $6? Unusual selection of summer dresses. Georgettes, printed chiffons and crepes. Extraordinary values. 6 7^. Michigan Ave. Chicago Time Out! . . . just long enough to remind you that the stirring polo matches now being played on several grounds easily reached from the Loop are re ported fully and accurately in POLO "The Magazine of the Game" One year $5.00 Two years 8.00 Three years 10.00 Quigley Publishing Co. 407 S. Dearborn St. Chicago On Sale at Brentano's THE ORTHOPHONIC VICTROLA, MODEL EIGHT THIRTY-FIVE STEGER & SONS PIANO MFG. CO. Steger Building, Northwest Corner Wabash and Jackson VICTOR RECORDS VICTROLA-RADIOLA STUTZ "PRINCE OF WALES"— Body by Le Baron The Vogue Custom Built Cord Tire adds a finish ing touch to any fine car and combines beauty of design with long, undis turbed mileage, aiding ma terially in promoting the ut most pleasure in motoring. President Stutz Chicago Factory Branch, Inc. J VOGUE RUBBER COMPANY, Inc. Harry C. Hower, President Indiana Avenue at Twenty-Fourth Street CUSTOM BUILT Balloons